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my son was just diagnosed GID

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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby Zuki » Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:30 am

Thank you for the nice thought but my child has "outgrown" Montessori schools ;-) he (she - in process) is now 21.


1000yardstare wrote:If your child is GID ... AND ... Aspergers, well perhaps, just perhaps you should look at Montessori School. I room with two Montessori Teachers, and wonder if perhaps they would do a better job than regular schools. Just an idea.

Much peace

H
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby 1000yardstare » Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:33 am

Good heavens, I am quite sorry. I must have gotten confused somewhere.
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby Zuki » Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:37 am

:lol: No worries !

1000yardstare wrote:Good heavens, I am quite sorry. I must have gotten confused somewhere.
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby Zuki » Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:41 am

momto5kids wrote: Please any advice,would be great.....could I have caused this in any way???Or does everyone believe that you are 'born' this way???

Thank you and God Bless!


I have missed that very important part ... NO - and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. You have not caused this no more and no less than you have caused the colours of his eyes or the colours of his skin.
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby 1000yardstare » Mon Mar 07, 2011 3:09 am

Please keep in mind that I am no Doctor, but just do a lot of research, um well because I have a vested interest. LOL

As far as I can see, it is a genetic thing, and no one knows exactly how that happens. I have read about a high incidence or intersexed babies being born in Palestine, and in Saudi Arabia. People in Muslim countries just do not talk about this sort of thing, so it is hard to verify. In those areas, I am thinking that inbreeding is a factor.

My Step sister is a promenent Marine Biologist and has seen data indicating that the third child in birth order is more likely to be GID; the theory being that by the third child, Mom is running low on testosterone to fuel making a boy.
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby Zuki » Mon Mar 07, 2011 3:28 am

I did lots of research too (I do have a vested interests as well :lol: ). It is not so much the genetics as the level of testosterone during gestation. However, the low part I am not so sure of - I heard contrary (too much testosterone). On the other side of the coin, there are the high level of BPA in what we eat and drink - BPA mimics estrogen (power drinks are filled with it, so were baby formulas). But again, perhaps male GID and female GID is different cause and effect as well, and perhaps it just is. GID have been around for long (natives americans' old term was "berdache" and the new term (more appropriate) "two-spirit") - so perhaps it is simply part of nature period.

1000yardstare wrote:Please keep in mind that I am no Doctor, but just do a lot of research, um well because I have a vested interest. LOL

As far as I can see, it is a genetic thing, and no one knows exactly how that happens. I have read about a high incidence or intersexed babies being born in Palestine, and in Saudi Arabia. People in Muslim countries just do not talk about this sort of thing, so it is hard to verify. In those areas, I am thinking that inbreeding is a factor.

My Step sister is a promenent Marine Biologist and has seen data indicating that the third child in birth order is more likely to be GID; the theory being that by the third child, Mom is running low on testosterone to fuel making a boy.
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby 1000yardstare » Mon Mar 07, 2011 3:40 am

It bothers me that a thing that is so involuntary can get us labelled as something horrible. I have people in my life who are completely sure that I am having sex with any male who is willing, when in fact, I have almost no desire at all, and I am quite pleased by that. I am told that a very high number of MtF trans folk are mentally ill but it is not because of the T part but because of all the cruelty and rejection we suffer. That alone would make even the most normal person mentally ill.

It is upsetting that FtM folk do not live that long because their taking Testosterone is much harder on them than the reverse, and my Doctor told me that their Liver or Kidneys give out far too soon.

I take a much lower dose of Estrogen than lots of T folk, and my Endocrinologist says that I will likely live to be 100; If I can avoid suicide, that is.

I will say that it is a much better world for T folk than it was in the 50's. I am also told that in the UK, life is much happier. I'd like to move there but it is doubtful that I can work it out.
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby Zuki » Mon Mar 07, 2011 4:18 am

1000yardstare wrote:It bothers me that a thing that is so involuntary can get us labelled as something horrible. I have people in my life who are completely sure that I am having sex with any male who is willing, when in fact, I have almost no desire at all, and I am quite pleased by that. I am told that a very high number of MtF trans folk are mentally ill but it is not because of the T part but because of all the cruelty and rejection we suffer. That alone would make even the most normal person mentally ill.

It is upsetting that FtM folk do not live that long because their taking Testosterone is much harder on them than the reverse, and my Doctor told me that their Liver or Kidneys give out far too soon.

I take a much lower dose of Estrogen than lots of T folk, and my Endocrinologist says that I will likely live to be 100; If I can avoid suicide, that is.

I will say that it is a much better world for T folk than it was in the 50's. I am also told that in the UK, life is much happier. I'd like to move there but it is doubtful that I can work it out.


Well I think ignorance is the issue for the labels and the cruelty . As for the MtF mental states, I am ambivalent. Yes I met many that would classify as having some form of mental issues, but I also read about the others (a lawyer in the UK who died recently (was killed), a programmer for Microsoft, another lawyer in CA) - which seemed to have led pretty interesting lives and in complete normality - I think the key issue is (unfortunately) having the means (money) to get the support - social and medical.
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby 1000yardstare » Mon Mar 07, 2011 4:30 am

It's been 6 years for me, and while any complaint I have seems pretty lame to my roomates, since, I must meekly admit that I am much happier as a woman than I ever was while trying to um "Man UP". My only complaint was that I loved my family more than life its self, and in a series of bad strokes, got injured on the job, got on pain meds, then was put on very heavy doses of psych meds to combat depression caused by the loss of my job and the pain, and later got SRS. I came to my senses once I insisted that I get off the dope, and guess what? My whole life was destroyed. So, while SRS may have cured what ailed me, the price was far too high.

It is late, I have to go to bed.

Much peace

Khadijah
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Re: my son was just diagnosed GID

Postby johnboy74 » Mon Mar 14, 2011 5:09 am

momto5kids

I thank you for being a supportive and loving mother. I can only begin to appreciate how difficult it is for you to see your son struggle. I can also begin to appreciate how difficult it may feel to reconcile his gender and sexuality with the most common teachings of your religion.

One thing I couldn't help but think about as I read your post was...

If you accept (and it sounds like you do) the inevitability of his dating his own gender, wouldn't you prefer having the most traction you can have in encouraging his relationships to be both healthy and significant? While I understand your religious position is that homosexuality is wrong, would it not be worse if his path was more reckless and meandering, perhaps a byproduct of having to date in secret, having to hide his urges/tendencies/curiosities, being made to feel inevitably badly about who he is? His being treated different cannot be good for him; he gets enough of that out in the world.

I wish there was a middle road you could take, perhaps one in which you allowed him to date (within the normal rules and limits a parent might impose) without it needing to be something you are plausibly denying. Be active in his life, meet the boy he wants to date as you would have met the girl. If you need, arrange things so that your other kids are kept uninvolved, but don't you be uninvolved in that part of his life. Otherwise I just fear his choices will suffer, and you love him far too much for that.

(I am neither of your religious view nor am I homosexual, so you can take this advice for what it's worth.)

J
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