Hello fellow gamblers (Adam West voice)...
Well I have a lot to say...first lets lay down some of my basic gambling know-how.
Gambling is certainly an illness. In my opinion, there are a lot more people addicted to (and the chance of being potentially addicted to) gambling than society makes out or as people may think. As some people have said on here, it is just like heroin, smack, alcohol, sex, you name it...but its hidden, thats what makes it the most serious (mentally) addiction anyone can have in my opinion.
Think of it like playing your favourite video game when you were younger...it works the same way, you keep playing to win, and if you don't, you try again, until you get there. Its the same with gambling, except for one more thing that is involved, money. It's a game that you pay to play on the spot, pay per play, to try and accumulate more money, either fortunately with the chance of doing so (against the odds), or unfortunately with the chance of losing all your money (with the odds). On top of that lets face the truth that money is an extremely important value to us as humans, it buys us food, drink, possessions, shelter, transport to move around...all of the fundamental needs that allow us to survive in modern society, noting also that we are the only mammals on the planet to do this in such a complex and evolved way.
So what's my point in saying this ? My point is that money is no OBJECT, in real life terms. The problem with gamblers is that we treat money as an OBJECT, as numbers on a bank roll screen, chips on the roulette table, when really we should be looking at our money in a totally different way, as something that is just as important to us as our family, life, kids etc. The sooner we realise that money is not something to throw to a guy and say ''Hey, dealer, here is £1000, try and turn that into £2000 please...I know I may risk all my £1000 to selfishly gain another £1000, in which the odds are greatly against my favour (house edge) in the long run, but ill take the risk anyway''. You may win the first time you ever do this, or when you ever do in the future, but as we have discussed and as we all know, the feeling of the loss and/or win both equally puts us in a situation in which we want to gamble more, in a extremely addicting vicious circle. Thats where the problem starts, as soon as you put that money down on the table, it is likely you are going to be hooked, in general regardless of what your demographics, social background or genetics.
Anyway, as I have rabbled on I best be getting on to my story, which I will need to simplify as I have took so much time writing the above, but you will get the basic idea.
I am adopted and schizophrenic. I was malnourished from a very young age, but thanks to the family I have now and since I was 2 years old I have grown up to be an acceptable height of 5ft 5 at 22 years old (I was told I wouldn't make it past 4ft). The life that I lived previous to my current family is partly responsible for my current illness, smallish size, and gambling problems (my dad was a heavy gambler, but in no way what so ever do I feel hatred towards my birth parents). Fortunately my current family have made a pretty good job at turning me into a decent human, by giving me food and water, holidays, love, company etc...but I started gambling around exactly a year ago, which isn't long in comparison to other people on here.
It started when me and my friend (who I am not friends with anymore) went to the casino. I had £40 left with me at the end of the night, I put some on casino and as you do I won and lost, eventually losing the lot. I never accepted the loss, it made me slightly angry in a way, but I had a greater feeling of wanting to gamble more to make up the loss (all of which was £40). So I go to the cash machine which was a ridiculous 3 metres away from the roulette table and withdraw further money, eventually I lose this too.
Well surprisingly not, there I was at 2am after the night out, in my house 'watching' the TV channel which is responsible for showing SuperCasino and depositing £10 a go until I reached £90 and called it a night, winning nothing. This was the night in my opinion in which I started my gambling habit, but it wasn't until I went back to university that year in which the gambling problem really took a hold of its self.
So I had a room to my self, in the 'halls' as they call it in England where I planned in studying Meteorology and Climate for 3 years. However this never helped the problem. I found my self depositing small amounts (£10-20) at a time at first alone in my room, playing for the fun. This fun however turned into a way of trying to generate money through loss, and before I knew it I was blew £400 odd one night. I phoned my dad and told him about this (It was his money as he had to fund me through university) and obviously he was disappointed, I said I would stop.
It wasn't until I reached a ridiculous amount of money that night late on from my last £20 deposit that my gambling addiction had fully immersed its self inside my head. From £20 I was up at around £6k, from playing roulette alone. On top of this my (previously mentioned) friend was on the SAME website, up £2.7k...I eventually cashed out at £2k and my friend cashed out the £2.7k...we were so high I had to phone my dad at 7am and tell him I'd won this money, which he was even more mad about. Anyway it was all fine and dandy with us winning the money, I withdrew it into my account, and I had 2 grand to spend. I eventually spent the money, surprisingly on mostly respectable things like clothes food going out etc, but the gambling didn't stop there (as it hasn't for anyone else who has been in this very familiar situation). Eventually after the few months that took the £2k run out I found my self back at square one, trying to get £20 into some ridiculous amount of money by gambling on online websites.
Anyway to cut a long story short, after this win, I was firmly within the palm clenching grip, impossible to escape, that is called problem gambling. Eventually I would use most of my monthly allowance, in the hope that I would win again, though thankfully not to the stage in which I had no money for food or drink. University went on, and I didn't...partially due to my gambling problem, but to a bigger degree, to my schizophrenia, which makes matters 10x worse. Over the course of that academic year, I calculated losses and wins. I was evens at one point, after winning another 2 grand. However I spent this on gambling again and found my self down once more. At the end of the year (May) I calculated roughly I spent £8 grand and won £5k...so £3k down...in the space of a few months. I eventually withdrew from the university at the end of May.
Back at home in the summer problems just got worse...I won another £2k but I didn't even last a day until that was gone again...problems continued when I discovered 'PHONE BILL' gambling, where you can deposit funds using your phone bill contract (I KNOW RIGHT!?)...I racked up a bill on my phone twice for a total of £800...on top of this I lost another £2k on my credit card (with a £1.5k allowance?) in which my dad had to bail me out on...this was all before christmas, and now I find my self spending all my benefit money within one night to help 'fix' my gambling addiction... so in total a rough estimate of my losses (not a very good one) is that I am down around £7-10k...oh yeah and I nearly forgot, I stole a grand off my mums credit card last month...
So coming to conclusion to my story I hope this gives you guys some insight (as you probably already know from other similar stories) to what my life is like being a gambling addict (I had to pinch my self after saying that). But my most important message to you all is from the first few paragraphs, I'm no philosopher, but I have attempted put it into my own words of what I think gambling means in my world and hopefully this can spur a moment of thought for you when the next time a gambling urge pops up...just remember you are not alone, seek help fast before it gets a problem, or if gambling already is, keep up what you have achieved in the past and currently no matter how small the step is to solving your problem. Every little helps, and before you know it you will be getting a pay check in every month and spending it on what matters in life, not gambling.
I'm out
(5am and 2.5 hours of typing)...take care everyone
!