Hoping to quit

Hi all,

Just wanted to find some way to vent out frustration as Im having a difficult time not being so hard on myself for what I did recently. A couple years ago during COVID Colorado finally legalized sportsbetting, which is when I decided to dip into it since I love sports. It started off as something that I can honestly say was a healthy habit. I only was betting in ways to manipulate the promotions, which if you do that (free bet if you do this free money if you deposit this)....it was actually a piece of cake to make money. After the promotions begin to windle down, I still was consistently making money...but was also very diligent about tracking what went into my account and what left my bank account.

For the first 2 years I profited in 21 of the 24 months.
Then things started to go downward. Everything was going great, I got a promotion at work and realized at age 31 I was finally ready to settle down. After things didn't work out with a girl I thought was a match I started to unwind and reflect. Looking back at who I was in my early 20s and who I am now at 31 (way more friends, opportunities with women, completely different habits in my 20s) led to this attachment to the girl things didn't work out with and I was way more upset than I've ever been, and I even had to completely cut ties with her and couldn't be friends. When things didn't work out, I looked to gambling to feel better about myself since I was pretty good at to this point (dumb AF). Unfortunately I was reckless and lost 15k in just a few days.

I took a break from it for a while and focused on other things because my confidence was lower than ever and thought.to myself that's why I was doing so bad gambling because my mental health was off. A couple months later when football season started I got back into it but it was never the same. The discipline I had before was gone and In the back of my mind that 15k I lost so quickly was impacting my decisions. I would have strands where I'd be up 7k I'm a week then lose it all the next or vice versa because the wager amounts kept increasing and the swings were huge. Throughout football season I stopped keeping track too and pretty sure I either broke even or lost a few grand from Sept-Jan. I decided I really wanted to quit but wanted to do one last big bet for the super.bowl since overall in my betting career.i was up (or at least that was my logic). It was a 10k wager that hit and obviously I was.thrilled.

I don't really know what happened, but I completely lost control over the last few days and lost it all and more (25k). I'm not sure I've ever been more upset with myself because I told myself win or lose this was going to be it and STILL couldn't follow through with that promise to myself. I had even limited the deposit amount on the main sportsbook I use, but just found other avenues to throw it all away. I was so mad at myself I drove to a parking lot and just started yelling at myself for how dumb I was for not just letting go.

Luckily enough, I've never been in a position where this has put me even close to not being able to pay bills or anything, but it's still frustrating. I think looking back I just haven't been able to accept that those first 2 years that were.so profitable are long gone and I need to let go. Now I've also started to realize that maybe even when gambling was.profitable for me.it wasn't necessarily a healthy habit. There were plenty of times where I might elect to sit at home and watch some random game instead.of go out and socialize. Also plenty of times where I was too focused on a bet even when I was out with friends. I'm being pretty hard on myself thinking that I've just wasted too much time with gambling and feel as if it's led to me isolating myself.

I think I'm righting the ship and getting back on track, but I wanted to share with other people who might have been through a similar phase.

Hi Mrkosmoo3,

Welcome to the forum.

We all started somewhere. I myself start betting in a lot of games at a very young age.
There was the arcade betting machines, blackjack card games with friends and/or relatives etc.
It started to go downhill for me when I went into soccer betting at one point, and casino gambling at another point. Things just spiraled out of control. I came to a point which I realized that I was no longer in control when I gambled or bet on anything.

It is good that you came here and shared your experience. We can relate to what you are going through.
Please do come back and share often on your journey to quit. You picked the right topic too for your thread "Hoping to quit".

There is a vast resource of sharing over here in this forum. Please do spend some time to read and find ways that can benefit you to quit. Wishing you success and only the best in quitting from betting/gambling.