Quitting for Good

Sometime early of March (last month), I was looking for a part-time job to supplement my income.
Tried looking around but had no success.
Probably due to frustration and temptation, one night, I decided to place bets on some soccer matches.
I lost both the matches and decided then to try my luck in online casino, in which I managed to recover.
Soon, I got back into the online casino.
The story is the same: Made some extra. Started going back. Made in some sessions, was ahead but didn't quit. Started losing. Chasing losses.

Not long did I realize that I was having the same gambling problem just like before, chasing losses.

Decided then to quit.
Lost my savings, lost some money through credit card withdrawal.

Now back to square one.
No point regretting as I can benefit from it. Money is lost for good. Can’t turn back time.
Just need to look forward to the future.

Point to take note in future.
1. Resorting to gambling for fun, making quick bucks or leisure will only result in pain and suffering.
No whatsoever benefit will come from it.
2. Quit looking at soccer/football score or news. Temptation might come from it.
3. Looking to earn income the legit way. Work hard, using my skills and knowledge.
4. Cut of marketing call or talks on gambling. Delete the messages, close the sites or end the calls as soon as the word or message of gambling is there.
5. Make proper budgeting to eliminate debts. Avoid unnecessary spending.

Day 0 of GF (since I went earlier to the online site to finish off the free credit and requested for account closure).

RicardoG wrote:No point regretting as I can benefit from it. Money is lost for good. Can’t turn back time.
Just need to look forward to the future.

Point to take note in future.
1. Resorting to gambling for fun, making quick bucks or leisure will only result in pain and suffering.
No whatsoever benefit will come from it.
2. Quit looking at soccer/football score or news. Temptation might come from it.
3. Looking to earn income the legit way. Work hard, using my skills and knowledge.
4. Cut of marketing call or talks on gambling. Delete the messages, close the sites or end the calls as soon as the word or message of gambling is there.
5. Make proper budgeting to eliminate debts. Avoid unnecessary spending.

Beautiful! No recovery is perfect and there will be bumps. We just need to continuously patch up some weak point and really be conscious of our thoughts when we try to rationalize that gambling is a way to earn a few extra bucks or that we have control over it.

Thank you for the great reminder to always be aware

Aries411 wrote:We just need to continuously patch up some weak point and really be conscious of our thoughts when we try to rationalize that gambling is a way to earn a few extra bucks or that we have control over it.

Yes Aries. I still need to tie up some loose ends aka weak points.
The mind will always try to deceive and say that we can be in control, but in actual fact, we already have a permanent damage in our head when it comes to gambling. We can't be the same. Period.
I have to always keep this in mind.

Day 8

2 night back (Sunday night), I had this boredom feeling while lying on the couch before going to sleep.
"THE THOUGHT" came to mind...asking me to check the soccer standing and result of matches (I think this must be satan tempting me). I said "NO", that I'm not going to succumb to this stupidity.
Any free money/token for gambling, sure win matches, fixed game...whatever of this sort...all these are merely temptations to woo me back into the addiction.

I read shanky1987 thread earlier, and I want to say this too....*%^% you gambling and satan. You will not win anymore.

I thought that I would put this post from Notlookingback here as a reminder for me:

Post by Notlookingback » Sun Dec 15, 2019 7:05 am
One other thing, I know an old time Gambler's Anonymous.
One of his sayings is that he knows that he can't place a bet even if he were to know beforehand
that a game or a race is fixed.
Thus, even if he had an absolute sure thing, he knows it would lead to financial and emotional destruction.
I believe this to be true too.

I did this mistake back in November 2021, when I was gullible in Telegram chat, thinking that there is such thing as "sure win" bet or fixed matches. Not realizing that within Telegram or other social media, there is always the elements of scam...and it is quite rampant.
------------------
Note:
I will come to post my days of GF here and will continue to do this until 4th April next year.
I promise that I will do this. And I will support other members who will post in this forum in the future.

Day 14
**** you gambling. You have ruin my life all these years.
I need to take control and not succumb anymore to this lies, hidden/secret life, which give nothing but pain and suffering.

No more urge. Will keep this feeling of disgust for gambling for the longest period.

getting_better...

I saw this youtube video in your link and what it is mentioned here by Johann Hari in Tedx:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs is pretty much what causes some of us to turn to addiction. Loneliness.

Connection is the opposite of addiction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8AHODc6phg

Those are both excellent videos . Loneliness was a definite factor in my case . During the first year of recovery I had to really force myself to reach out to friends and be social . I was so used to the isolation of gambling that it felt kind of awkward being around a group .

I also realized that I had missed my friends very much .

NewSunRising wrote: Loneliness was a definite factor in my case .

You are right NSR, loneliness is one of the crucial triggers in you and me, and probably in most of us if not all.

I thought it was "boredom" too, but I realized that we can always look for other avenues/channels to overcome this...mobile games, movies, social media and other hobbies to keep us occupied.

I have to look out that gambling is NEVER an option for side hustle. Have to tattoo this to my mind.

Day 21

Well done on 3 weeks RicardoG !

I don't have urges anymore but I do get something more akin to intrusive thoughts . It's pretty rare these days but when they do pop up I stop what I'm doing and really think about what I'm experiencing .

What brought this on ? What would I gain by even considering this a choice ? What would I lose ?

That last question makes me deliberately recall my lowest , most desperate moments as a gambling addict . Not to make me feel ashamed of my past actions - I've forgiven myself for all that and made my peace with the way I behaved while in the grip of my addiction .

I recall those moments so I can ask myself " Do you want to go back there again ? " . That bit of introspection is enough . To quote George Santayana :

" Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it " .

Ricardo G,

I just watched that video you posted. It was excellent and has really made me think. "The opposite of addiction is connection." I think that is why Gamblers Anonymous works for some people, as they become connected to the people in the group by sharing their story, pains and growth. On the other hand, Gamblers Anonymous does not work for many others because they do not feel or lose the connection to the individuals in the group for whatever reasons. Maybe they get shamed for continuing to gamble or maybe they feel little in common with the people in the group, aside from having a gambling problem. Personally, I dropped out of GA because I didn't have connections with many of the people in the GA group that I attended. In fact, I was shamed when I was honest and reported that I went back to gambling. I have an 15 year old autistic child and a fourteen old. My wife has significant health problems and I earn the only income for our family. I wanted to escape my issues and I gambled. I didn't want to be shamed for going back to gambling. So, I dropped out of the meetings. Now, I am working on being present and forming other connections and not gambling.