Hi guys,
So yeh the title says it all really-gambling is the only thing that's ever made me happy, I know that's incredibly sad but I've never understood what else there is to enjoy in life because I genuinely have enjoyed very little since I was born. There is no feeling like getting a big win-although I finally did get my biggest win late last year and thought I'd be dancing round the room but i wasn't, I was quite blase-maybe because I knew in the end i'd spend most of it on slots which is what happened despite staying off them for 3 weeks after my win. It wasn't a huge win, small potatoes to a lot on here (2k) but for me it was a big win but it soon went.
I'm still waiting for the life changing win but I want to quit because I think slots are hugely skewed in the sites favour (well duh) I don't even get a good play anymore most of the time, I can't believe how they get away with such poor payouts. Even the 2k I won wasn't on slots it was another form of gambling. I just don't know what else to do with life-I'm not interested in a relationship or having kids (I already decided in my teens that I'd never ever curse an innocent child with life and that's never changed-I'd never want a child of mine to go through even half of the crap I've dealt with in life). I just wish I'd never ever been born life is such a horrible burden and responsibility I don't know what anyone is supposed to do with it.
Problem is I'm in limbo as I spend most of my minimum wage money on gambling so I never have any money and no savings. But I look forward to playing after a horrible boring day at work. And I get so bored in the evenings as I have no social life (never enjoyed socialising either of course) but after I've lost all my money I get so frustrated, slots aren't even a good reliever of boredom-I can be on them 20 minutes or less and lose all my money. I just don't know what to do. I'm a decade behind other people my age, I have nothing-not just because of gambling, I've always been frivolous with money and emotionally immature-without gambling I'm sure I'd have managed to spend all my money just the same and never achieved anything due to having no self-confidence. I guess what I'm saying is I need to quit and be more responsible with money but gambling is the only thing I enjoy and I gamble every single day so I don't know how to go about quitting.