Rock Bottom

As I was posting on another board, I was curious what was your Rock Bottom?

Usually, it takes a Rock Bottom for someone to finally change things around really get on the path of recovery. If you didn't hit a Rock Bottom, what did you do mentally to change things around. I wish I was in the second category, so I wouldn't have wasted so much of my life...

For me, my Rock Bottom was when my wife went through out bank accounts and saw I was taking out large sums of money each day. I had no lie left and had to tell her the truth. That day was when she found out about my addiction and I thought my life was ending..... Such a horrible day, but it eventually became the most important day in my life

My rock bottom was the last payday of 2015 after my company switched us to an end of month pay period instead of every 2 weeks . At 2:00 in the afternoon on December 31, after paying bills and rent , I had $250 to get me through January . I caved in to the urge to gamble ( you could increase that amount and have more money if you're lucky ! ). I lost all but $50 of it .

The next 30 days were spent living at below poverty level , having roughly $1.50 a day for any expenses that may come up . It was a sobering experience and in hindsight , a good one . Having to wait entire month for the next paycheck actually made me fear losing what little I had left . Having no money made it impossible to gamble . It became the strategy I employed over the next year of my recovery journey .

My rock bottom was when I was at home with my girlfriend (wife now) smiling, laughing, watching TV, but inside me - I was screaming, because 2 hours before I lost my 1 year salary playing online games. I couldn't sleep all night and realised what a monster I'm if I can hide everything inside me and look like normal family man. But the reality - I just lost all my money and plus my girlfriends hard earned money and we are in big debt. Wearing the masks all gambling years..

There was one night when I gamble away a whole day profit from the shop plus more from bank account. I started thinking, the people who worked for me make less but they are better off because I just flush a lot of money down the toilet like it is nothing.

This is my rock bottom and I will not forget about it too soon.

I wrote something earlier, but because of some error, it didn't load up. Lol

Anyways, this is an interesting post, which depicts my current situation.

I came to my senses recently due to a period of losses recently. I had a relapse exactly a year ago, and have been gambling ever since, in online casino -baccarat and moved over to soccer betting.

I made some money, paid off some debt, and kept some aside before covid hit, and affected the soccer schedule.

And then, I started to make losses.

I have now come to my senses, and realised that I better quit before hitting rock bottom.

Now here is the part:
Since I'm out of capital, I have decided to quit too, sort of like throwing the towel. My paycheck is next week, and I know of certain good soccer leagues where I can make money.

The temptation is there, but I feel I should stop while ahead (in a way, since I'm not at rock bottom).

Dilemma of an ex-addict

Day 6 of GF

Because of the glitch, I typed this under the wrong post. Lol

Hey Ricardo,

RicardoG wrote:I know of certain good soccer leagues where I can make money.

I think many of us sports gambling addicts have had this feeling, especially in recovery. It usually plays out in a few ways.

1. You play and you win. This rush and extra money will often cause you to continue to think about gambling and its possibilities (like you are doing now). However, as we ALL know, this will lead to our down fall and we will lose much more than we actually win. Otherwise, we wouldn't be in this horrible situation.
2. You play and you lose. This causes us to go further into the hole and might make us more desperate. Some might say this is the worse situation, but I actually think that the first situation is worse. How I wished that I never won in the beginning and never continued to gamble....
3. You don't play and 'could have won'. This happens to me a lot! But I realise (or at least tell myself) that if I did play, it will lead me down a path that got me in this huge mess in the first place. Winning a few hundred or thousand, is nothing compared to the 100s of thousands I lost...
I would be happy that my determination and resolve kept me away from placing that bet and that is a HUGE win in my book!
4. You don't play and you wouldn't have won. Great! It reinforces the fact that you shouldn't gamble.

These lies in our mind are hard to deal with we all understand the strength it has over many of us.
I hope you make the right choice next week Ricardo!

Thanks Aries for summing it up well.
True indeed. The possibilities are that.


I do regret that I had wasted time and money over the years.

Before I started back this sport betting, I thought and felt that matches were fixed. But this time around I feel that matches are subjected to bad decision like the coach not playing certain players, red card, variables like injury during a match, penalties being awarded, loss of form, etc etc.

These things are not predictable, and a friend of mine used to say this: "the ball is always round, anything can happen".

Hi Aries,

What you posted earlier, keep running in my mind.
Situation 1 is what I'm facing.

The dilemma is there.
I just need to reaffirm myself and make the decision to quit for good. I really hope and pray that I can quit for good.
I will make the start today and now. God help me

I hit the rock bottom when I had to decline all the little pleasures of life, like going to a restaurant with my friends, although I made good money without any responsibility. When I had to lie to my fiancee for years (she eventually left me without ever knowing about my addiction) about why I'm short on money.
Hit the bottom when I was working hard for 15 years and had nothing to show for it. Thank God we didn't have easily accessible credit cards in Europe back in the days. I would have doubled my bottom.

I guess that's what happens to smart and stubborn people. We don't give up easily. Thank myself and God for having life which took me to places that taught me how to distinguish the rock bottom form another heaven to reach.
LIVE YOUR LIFE! GO FOR IT! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE IF YOU ARE READING THIS!!!

I went to a complete life change with this thought in my head: "If I'm going to risk my life a bit at a time over gambling, I might as well just go all-in for what I dream for as crazy as it might be."

Changed job, changed city, changed partner...everything. It was hard. But after I faced myself, admitted and FORGAVE myself, everything changed for good. Now I couldn't be more happy.
Not gambling for 2-3 years, having a wife that I love and she loves me (and knows everything), having a great job...expecting twins!

Accept the error and forgive yourself. Do what you have to do. Don't lose contact and care of your kids (if you have them). They'll eventually understand, just don't disappear on them.

Good thing are coming your way in 2021. Go for it!
Wishing you all the strength and happiness.


S.T.