I HATE MYSELF TODAY

Aries411 wrote:I guess it really depends on the goal of the individual. When I was in group therapy, we were put into two groups: Those who wanted to reduce their gambling and Those who wanted to totally abstain from gambling. I was always for total abstinence, but respect those who could control it and just wanted to reduce it.

On this forum, I think the vast majority are part of the second group where the addiction has really hijacked our brain and we throw common sense out the window because our 'common sense' rationalizes gambling (even with the negative expectations). Although we lose money in the end, the action helps fill a void in our lives and we develop a strong attachment to it. We believe we will win and we find comfort in the feeling it provides us (friendship, connection, action, challenge, etc)

I think it is wise for one with a problem to totally quit gambling, it is a risky business, to think many people may work a whole day for 50-60 pounds and it can be bet in one spin or a bet.

I can understand and sympathise with anyone who throws common sense out of the window with gambling, especially when losing money. In poker going on tilt is rational and understandable reaction to losing a sequence of money/bets/hands. The definition given by wikipedia is 'Tilt originated as a poker term for a state of mental or emotional confusion or frustration in which a player adopts a less than optimal strategy, usually resulting in the player becoming over-aggressive'. I have played a lot of poker and when you keep losing hands even when big favourite, you play differently and almost employ a 'given up' strategy where you think sod it. It is dangerous.

Any key to success with giving up gambling or being sensible with gambling is control. And to have control you need to have a strategy and a system that you are following. I am not sure who has watched the film 21, I love this film but this is a film that glorifies gambling which I wouldn't recommend for people who have a problem with gambling. But one line that Mickey says to Ben is just golden and so important to anyone in gambling. Mickey says "There is one more thing Ben and this is important, we are counting cards, we're not gambling, we are following a specific set of rules and playing a system. I have seen how crazy it can get at those tables and sometime people lose control, they give in to their emotions. You will not! Do you understand?"
Think about those words!

I don't think having the words "success", "strategy" and "system" in the same sentence helps anyone struggling with the addiction here.

I think Rainman has gotten the point . There are plenty of forums available for people who choose to gamble where they can discuss strategy , technique and success rates as much as they want . This is not that type of forum .

We can either go back to giving support and encouragement to Badluck in his efforts to stop gambling or we can lock this topic and move on . I would prefer the first option .

Hi BLLMB,

How are you doing? I hope you are calmer now and hope you didn't go back to playing baccarat.

NewSunRising wrote:I think Rainman has gotten the point . There are plenty of forums available for people who choose to gamble where they can discuss strategy , technique and success rates as much as they want . This is not that type of forum .

We can either go back to giving support and encouragement to Badluck in his efforts to stop gambling or we can lock this topic and move on . I would prefer the first option .

Absolutely. I am not here to encourage anyone to gamble, I've read a lot of posts on here and it is sad how many people post about relpasing and losing so much money and find themselves in terrible financial problems.
I just thought people may be interested in how someone who is addicted to gambling but does not have a problem with gambling thinks.

The biggest piece of advice I can give is never gamble if what you are gambling on has a negative expected return. Slots and roulettes can only lead to losses, there is simply no point in placing any bets on this. The more money you gamble the more you will lose.

Almost every type of gambling has a negative expected return. Why do Casinos hate card counters in blackjack? Because these players have an edge and are a threat to their profits. Only if you find an edge should you ever place a bet. And only if you can back it up with stats that you have an edge and have found a system should you ever place a bet. If you don't, don't place a bet because you will only lose.

I am not even going to post any positives regarding gambling because I do not want to encourage anyone.

No doubt there will be some people who will be angry at me posting this because I am talking about placing bets, but this is my philosophy to being in control of gambling and not losing money.

I use to be one of those guys that talk about strategy gambling for years. Well after emptying out my back account I finally realized it doesn’t work,and hence that’s why I found this site for support, and that goes for everybody else here. If your winning why are you here then? Your only lying to yourself and everyone else here. You are trying to make yourself feel better about gambling, and with that justification you will continue gamble. Keep on lying to yourself, But you will end up back at square 1, once you lose everything.

Please keep in mind casinos aren’t in the business so you can have an edge or a slight edge. They need a large edge. Follow the money and think about it, they have to pay for all their expenses, property tax, tens to hundreds of million dollars for their massive structures & buildings that they have to recoup. In addition they have pay employees salaries, pitboss & manager salaries, lights (I’ve heard electricity some are paying 50k a month), other utilities, and on top of that they make a huge profit to pay their tribal members. It was reported one tribe who owns Thunder Valley has 200 members and each is receiving 30k per MONTH per member think about how much edge they need to generate all that cash? The movie 21 was the best thing that ever happened to casinos, That’s why the poker areas, and black jack tables are getting bigger and bigger, and taking up more casino space because it’s profitable for them.

There are no games in the casino that are a coin toss, with all those expenses they would be out of business.

I know what you mean. I've always been an inherent, potential gambler due to my compulsive and competitive personality but never thought it would get to the level it had. Some, in my situation, would claim it is just terrible luck which it is but it is also much greater than this. It's pure unadulterated escapism. What is that we are escaping is the thousands dollar question. For me, it started with boredom and limitations.

prudalmeaz wrote:I know what you mean. I've always been an inherent, potential gambler due to my compulsive and competitive personality but never thought it would get to the level it had. Some, in my situation, would claim it is just terrible luck which it is but it is also much greater than this. It's pure unadulterated escapism. What is that we are escaping is the thousands dollar question. For me, it started with boredom and limitations.

In regards to this reply, for me, I would say I am escaping the hard work (in combination with the fear of ultimate failure which can result in me being homeless and broke for some time) that it would take for me to bring my life to the next level.What I mean by that is that I have a couple of ideas to work towards making my dreams come true in helping others, but I would have to leave my current job (that I survive paycheck to paycheck off of) and risk my plans not working out (they would literally have to work out immediately for me to avoid being broke or not having money for bills). My fear of my plans not being immediately successful cause me to instead take chances at the casino. I know that in order for me to pursue my dreams in helping others (I won't get into specifics with that because that is a different conversation), I need to have some money saved up just in case I have to pay rent for some months and go without any money coming in. With that being said, I know this (everything I just typed) and not having enough money is partially what drives me to relapse when I do with gambling. There are surely other reasons I gamble, but those are the reasons I can currently pinpoint. I will say, I was much worse in the past. I would almost fiend for gambling like a drug addict would fiend for their drug of choice. One main difference now is responsibility. During that time, I could afford to lose everything to my name and start from zero. Now, if that happens I will be homeless, and the fear of that keeps me away from gambling a lot more than I used to stay away. Still, the relapses are a pain. Rereading this post allows me to see I have took risks that were as risky as me risking my rent money which is horrible. Having paychecks also allows me to avoid riskier behaviors when it comes to gambling. I am pretty sure that if my job (which doesn't pay a lot in the first place, but it is better than no job, and I also find value in what I do) paid me all of my year's worth of pay at the beginning of the year, I would be screwed because I would have lost it all during one of my relapses. With that being said, those are some of the things I would say I am trying to escape when I gamble/relapse.