I hate myself today. I borrowed my sister's money who I love so much and lost it. I was hoping I could win and pay her back. I feel so bad. Yea, I hate myself today.
Lately I've been so broke living paycheck to paycheck. I actually used my rent money and my own mom's money to gamble to try and get ahead with some money. I almost lost it all but I was lucky to win it back plus more to work with. Risking my rent money was such a mistake.
I've been trying to beat the casino daily in baccarat with these systems I created to try and win just enough to pay for necessities and maybe a bit extra. It keeps working temporarily but eventually I come to the inevitable loss.
The bottom line is, I hate myself today. I lost $200 of my sister's hard earned money, and a total of $1700 this past week, and in the past couple of months I have lost around $5000 to $8000 dollars. I feel like crap and feel stuck.
God please help me remove this addiction from my life and also find some decent means of income that will allow me to afford necessities and also have some decent things in life without having to overwork myself (and sacrifice my health). Oh Lord do I need help. I am so disappointed in myself right now.