I am such a weak person

Im also a compulsive gambler,shanky your story inspired me alot that i still have hope...keep it up

Howdy people,

wish you all a very happy and gambling free new year!

Just came back to say that I still hate gambling as much as before and I havent broke anyone's trust .
I have changed job again and got a senior position in a very big muti-national company.... My wife also got a job and things are well in place!

My son is now in school from kindergarten and for him, I am his role model. It gives such a relief to know that the person whom my son is taking as a role model, is not the the same person what he was 2 years before.

I hope everyone is safe and healthy! Take care of yourself.... See you!!

Love,
Shanky

What a fantastic post Shanky !

You truly deserve to be considered a role model . Congratulations on not only your great new job but on your continued recovery success . It means a lot that you came back here to share it with us . I sometimes look back on my gambling days and I'm amazed and grateful at the difference between my life then and now .

I wish you nothing but the best in your coming ( gamble-free ) years .

I am so very happy for your successes, and remember reading your heartache and despair. You changed your story by changing your yesterday! Congrats Shanky...

I changed my story as well. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. February will be 2 years since I placed a bet. It changed my world, and feels amazing to have put some of the pieces back together.

Puff out your chest, my friend and hold your head high. Your milestones have only just begun, but look how far you have come in just a short while. Keep making those new memories!

Hi everyone,

How are you doing? today i came back to the forum and was reading my story from the start and all the replied. I cant thank you guys enough how you guys helped me...Thank a ton!

From my side, i am still clean and very happy in my life with my family

I wanted to share something with you so came here to post again...

Few weeks ago one of my school friend gave me a call (dont know from where he got my number, but he was a very good friend of mine in school days) requesting me to lend him some money, the way he was talking it sounded like he was in trouble and was showing so much of urgency.

I asked him to explain me in details what exactly happened to make sure there is nothing serious. He started telling me his story, about some business loss and bla bla, which actually didnt made any sense to me, he also mentioned that he can send his payslip to me and can return the money in 4-5 days.

Does this way of asking for money sounds fimiliar to you? It sounded fimiliar to me... these used to be my words asking for money from my friends. I asked him straight away, are you into gambling? He said "no no no, not at all" and sounded a little surprised.

I asked him few more time and few other things and finally he confessed that he need money to pay gambling debt.

I talked to him for 2 hours and tried to understand his point of view and also explained him what I have been through.... Whenever I used to tell something about the #######5 feelings we get after losing in gambling, he used to complete my sentence and used to mention that "yes, exactly this is what happened".

After our long coversation, he said that he understood that what he is doing is wrong and I can understand him very well. He told me everythig what happened in the past(he really did horrible things to feed this addiction) and how he got into so much of debt and promised me that he will never do it again (Which I doubt!)

Still I am now in continious touch with him, and asking him if he feels like gambling again. Everytime he says that he is clean now and so on... I have no option but to believe him. I told him that whenever you feel like gambling, please call me and talk to me, I can help you to fight this. He agreed! But he never calls me and I just text him in every few days asking, "everything alright?" and he just says yes bro, trust me all is good and I will never do this again.

I have clearly told him that I am not going to give him a single penny for this and he need to solve this problem on his own. I dont know if I did the right thing or not, as my mom, my brother helped me to come out of the debt by sending money, and I said no to this friend. I am having a guilt in my heart but I also feel i did the right thing.

Few days later after our first call he also told me, that he got my number from a friend whom I lended 10,000 Euros as he was buying a house. so he thought that I can lend him too.

As you guys supported me a lot in my struggle, I thought its best to take advice from you if I am doing right with this guy or not?

I hope he is telling me the truth that he is clean, as I said he was my very good friend right from childhood. Please let me know your views on this guys.

Rest all is good!! Stay happy and healthy... Till next time

Love,
Shanky!!

Wow! Thanks for the post Shanky.

It reminded me of the old times where I would lie with any excuse to get some money. I would pay down my credit card debt and and seeing how it was so low, it triggered me to gamble and try to win money to pay off the money I just borrowed. Such an odd cycle.

I can also remember my mother asking me if I was still gambling and I would say the exact same thing. I would say that I wasn't doing it anymore and that I would never do it again. Sad to say that is was a complete lie. I wish it was so easy that we could turn off the switch and stop gambling.

My mother also bailed me a few times as well. I regret that I took the money because it only created more debt. I know she thought she was helping, but it only delayed my learning of the consequences of gambling. I love her for helping me out, but I know it only fed my addiction. Extremely hard to see that in the midst of the gambling cycle.

Hi Shanky !

So glad to hear you are still strong and gamble-free ! That make me very happy and proud of you .

It's not easy to turn down a friend who says they are in need so please don't be too hard on yourself for not helping , especially if you can't really be sure they are telling the truth .

Aries411 wrote:I would say that I wasn't doing it anymore and that I would never do it again. Sad to say that is was a complete lie.

In my case , no one knew about my gambling addiction . My family lives in a different country and I hid it very well from my friends . I also lied . I made up "emergencies " to get money sent from my family . I promised to pay them back ( and eventually did ) but if they had asked me if I was gambling I would have lied about that too .

Aries is right about bailouts not helping us , especially if we are still in the grip of addiction . Every time I got money from others to pay my debts , my addiction went " Hey , problem solved ! It's no big deal if you lose too much , you've got these people to help you out until your luck turns around . "

I'm a good example of "bailout". I confessed to my sibling about my gambling problem a few years ago, and got the help to pay up all my debts.

I somehow had relapses over the years, and I'm back to square one in terms of debt.

It is a subjective thing (the decision is solely yours Shanky as you know him better), but one of my GA mentor said that bailout given to addict rarely works.