Hi all,
I posted on this forum Sat Nov 29, 2014 with a topic (gambling is killing me... please help) and I had shared what happened in the past and where I was that time.
People here suggested me few things, I understood that and changed my lifestyle and came completely out of this stupid gambling BUT, here I am again after 5 years in the same situation and it feels like killing myself as how can I be so dumb and useless.
To start with, in my last post I mentioned that I was in UK and had problems because of gambling and was sitting in the room thinking to make my months rent with last money left by playing poker. Then after getting help from this forum I talked to my flatmate and gave him all my cards and other things.
But (I dont know if my faltmate did the right thing or not) he told my office manager about this gambling thing and also told that I took money from few office colleagues. Because of this my manager ended my contract and sent me back to India, I was earning double in UK what I used to earn in India and it was a big loss for me.
I though how will I come out of this debt? but I knew gambling is not the solution so I started looking for a new job and BOOM !! I got one with a very good salary (As good as I was earning in UK), in the mean while I was also blessed with a baby boy and things were coming back to place. After 3 years I paid everything back and was debt free with my wife and kid and a good salary.
One day I got a job offer from Germany with very good salary, I opted for it and came to Germany. Work and job was really good and I am working here since last few years, I was also under impression and happy that gambling is illegal in Germany so I cannot gamble here and was very happy about it.
One day a colleague of mine was betting on a cricket match , I saw that and asked him "isnt it illegal here?", he said No. Not at all, THAT IT!! THE sleeping devil inside me started playing with my mind.
I tried controlling but after 7 days I created an online account. I had a savings of 15000 Euros, need not to say... thats all gone and I am in a debt of 70000 Euros in just 1.5 years.
I am such a weak person and really dont know what to do to myself. If my family will come to know about this, I will lose them for sure this time.
My wife and kid will be joining me in Germany after 2 months and I have nothing left with me(Luckily I booked their fligh tickets earlier else I would have gambled that money for sure ).
Yesterday I decided, that I will take charge of the situation and will again take one step at a time, this too shall pass!
But my main concern is, how to kill this addiction completely. If I can get into it in 2 minutes after being gamble free for 2.5 years then it can come again and again and again....
How to kill it completely? I have good job, beautiful wife and kid, very helping family... almost everything is perfect except this gambling s#$@.
Please help me, Its so embarrassing coming here again asking for help when not following it. Seems like I am wasting time of you guys as well.