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I am such a weak person

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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby lookforward » Thu Jun 11, 2020 6:48 am

Hello Shanky and rest of friends,

I must say, that this thread was/is probably the one that gets more atention from me. Your story was so powerful, and the way you write, makes really feel what you feel.

While in the beggining, everybody who could read it, would feel anguish, for you escalating problems, and tough decisions you would have to make...and sometimes reading you had relapsed, or increased your debt was really hard on everyone here.
But now, we can actually see you smile! And, speaking for myself, I smile too! I am very happy with for you. I am very pleased to see you achieving really cool milestones.

Congrats Shanky! Keep up the good work!
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby shanky1987 » Fri Jul 03, 2020 11:57 am

Thank you NSR, Timehealsall and lookforward for the appreciation and motivating me!!!

As promised, I have still not disappointed you!!! I have successfully completed 6 months and few days already and enjoying normal life. Last week I bought my brand new BMW X1 8) 8) 8) :lol: :lol: Now in winters my son will not walk in cold :) :) This feeling is so relaxing!!!

Life is good and normal!!! No thoughts about the stupidity ... I will keep you updated.

All those who are still struggling or are in a situation where I was earlier, please please please quit today... everything will be ok.. Just quit and by time you will see everything will start falling in place.

6 months earlier if someone would have told me that you will not have anyone calling you for money and you will have your own new BMW... I would have laughed on this face... but it happened!!! Trust me ... Time is very powerful, give it a chance to show its power.

I wish you good health during this tough time... All the best!

Cheers,
Shanky
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby NewSunRising » Sat Jul 04, 2020 3:19 am

Well done Shanky ! Thank you for keeping us updated and helping to inspire us all .

6 months of no gambling is a brilliant achievement and I hope you celebrate it . We're proud of you . Keep going ! :mrgreen:

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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby RicardoG » Fri Nov 27, 2020 12:56 am

Hi Shanky,

Reading your postings here from start till present has inspired me in my current recovery.
It is Day 6 of GF for me.

I was into online betting recently...sport casino.I did make before, save some of my winning, payouff some debt, but then the losing cycle came, and you all know the story.

I didn't hit rock bottom, but my sober senses came and I know my disease is always there, the addiction disease in my mind.

I have seen for myself the transformation in your life, and it motivates me to quit for good forever. Thank you very much for posting here, for sharing your life story with others.
And also many thanks to the admin and regulars here that keep motivating us to quit.
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby getting_better » Wed Dec 30, 2020 1:51 am

shanky1987 wrote:Hi all,

I posted on this forum Sat Nov 29, 2014 with a topic (gambling is killing me... please help) and I had shared what happened in the past and where I was that time.

People here suggested me few things, I understood that and changed my lifestyle and came completely out of this stupid gambling BUT, here I am again after 5 years in the same situation and it feels like killing myself as how can I be so dumb and useless.

To start with, in my last post I mentioned that I was in UK and had problems because of gambling and was sitting in the room thinking to make my months rent with last money left by playing poker. Then after getting help from this forum I talked to my flatmate and gave him all my cards and other things.
But (I dont know if my faltmate did the right thing or not) he told my office manager about this gambling thing and also told that I took money from few office colleagues. Because of this my manager ended my contract and sent me back to India, I was earning double in UK what I used to earn in India and it was a big loss for me.

I though how will I come out of this debt? but I knew gambling is not the solution so I started looking for a new job and BOOM !! I got one with a very good salary (As good as I was earning in UK), in the mean while I was also blessed with a baby boy and things were coming back to place. After 3 years I paid everything back and was debt free with my wife and kid and a good salary.

One day I got a job offer from Germany with very good salary, I opted for it and came to Germany. Work and job was really good and I am working here since last few years, I was also under impression and happy that gambling is illegal in Germany so I cannot gamble here and was very happy about it.

One day a colleague of mine was betting on a cricket match , I saw that and asked him "isnt it illegal here?", he said No. Not at all, THAT IT!! THE sleeping devil inside me started playing with my mind.

I tried controlling but after 7 days I created an online account. I had a savings of 15000 Euros, need not to say... thats all gone and I am in a debt of 70000 Euros in just 1.5 years.

I am such a weak person and really dont know what to do to myself. If my family will come to know about this, I will lose them for sure this time.

My wife and kid will be joining me in Germany after 2 months and I have nothing left with me(Luckily I booked their fligh tickets earlier else I would have gambled that money for sure ).

Yesterday I decided, that I will take charge of the situation and will again take one step at a time, this too shall pass!

But my main concern is, how to kill this addiction completely. If I can get into it in 2 minutes after being gamble free for 2.5 years then it can come again and again and again....

How to kill it completely? I have good job, beautiful wife and kid, very helping family... almost everything is perfect except this gambling s#$@.

Please help me, Its so embarrassing coming here again asking for help when not following it. Seems like I am wasting time of you guys as well.


You can't kill it. You'll have to live with it for the rest of your days without having your biggest pleasure. Accept it. It's life. We can't have it all. We can only decide what to sacrifice. The gambling or some other pleasure (not so intense, but more worthy)?
Connection is the opposite of addiction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNeSkyHccmo

Today gamble free I stay!
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby shanky1987 » Wed Apr 28, 2021 1:50 pm

Hello guys,

How are you doing? I came back just to inform you that I havent disappointed you again and life is good. As I said before, during these days I realised that its all mind game... the moment I decided that I will not do it again, it seems that something changed in my whole mindset and now a days forget about gambling I dont even like watching sports.

I use that time to do something productive, like going for a walk, cycling, playing with my kid, learning some new technology or cooking.... there are so many other things to do. I think that also played a very strong role in my success so far...

My employer was going through a tough time during corona crisis last year and they started a voluntary exit program, in which they offered around 100k Euros, one time payment for people leaving on their own. Beacuse I was using my time in learning new technologies and not GAMBLING, I thought its a wonderful opportunity and started giving interviews... I cracked a job within a month and took that payment after leaving the company... Things have changed completely and now I have savings in my account and on top of that these days I am helping my friends by lending money who are going through a tough time in this corona crisis.

Things have changed completely in a year or so.. HOW?? With just ONE DECISION....JUST ONE DECISION .... QUIT GAMBLING!!!!

I request(beg) you all... Quit today... doesnt matter how bad your situation is.. Gambling will make it worse.... Quit and give it sometime.. things WILL FALL IN PLACE... You trusted your gut feelings, luck, prayers, intelligence, tips and what not... this time just trust that quitting will solve everything and this will be your best "bet", where you will actually come out as a "REAL WINNER"!!

Rest I hope everyone is safe and healthy, please take care of yourself and family... I wish you good luck with quitting!!

Previously I used to quote the number of people I owe money and the amount but this time I would like to quote something different, which I am proud of... and it all happened because of my family, friends and ofcourse YOU PEOPLE!!!!

No of people I owe money to : 0
Debt : 0
Savings : 50k +

Love you all guy.. stay strong... YOU CAN DO IT!!!! YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS ADDICTION!!
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby Aries411 » Wed Apr 28, 2021 2:03 pm

Amazing update! I am so happy for you Shanky! I hope that we can all find the freedom that you have found. I know that many of us try and try again at recovery, but the important thing is to never give up. All we need is that one good stretch of gf time to get us into those months and years of gf recovery.

I hope we hear a lot more great updates in the days to come!
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby Timehealsall » Sat May 01, 2021 9:44 am

Nice to hear that life's been smooth for you Shanky! You are an inspiration :)
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby NewSunRising » Sat May 01, 2021 10:42 pm

Shanky , you have made us all so proud . Thank you for coming back to share this .

Aries411 wrote:All we need is that one good stretch of gf time to get us into those months and years of gf recovery.


This is so simple yet so true ! Time away from gambling give us the strength to stay away .
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Re: I am such a weak person

Postby RicardoG » Thu May 13, 2021 4:33 am

Hi Shanky,

Your sharings truly inspired me and I want to say to whoever who is reading this and struggling with gambling addiction, that quitting gambling is the best and only decision that gives back your life.

When I read your posting initially, I felt your struggle and related it to mine. And now I can also see the future ahead of being GF for a long time.

Thank you. Stay safe and well.
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