First time here

I am having a hard time coming to terms with what I'm doing and don't know where to turn. I found this forum. I'm completely baffled by how I got here. Never drank, never drugs, always straight shooter. I lost over $4000 last night and came home suicidal. I can't subscribe to religious, higher meaning kind of stuff and it's very difficult to join the masses in the recovery process- I'm the practical kind...and I can't afford good inpatient therapy ... ironical, huh? I'm lost in the darkness... am I alone?!

Hello,
First of all you're not alone i recommend for you to try GA meeting if there is any around you. I'm going there for almost 4 years and if you are scared of any religious things, you have to believe in whatever you want. I have tried theraphy, medicaments, psychologist and etc. But GA group is the only thing that helped me for real, I'm 3,5 years gambling free.
Good luck in your recovery!

ATerribleAddiction wrote:I am having a hard time coming to terms with what I'm doing and don't know where to turn. I found this forum. I'm completely baffled by how I got here. Never drank, never drugs, always straight shooter. I lost over $4000 last night and came home suicidal. I can't subscribe to religious, higher meaning kind of stuff and it's very difficult to join the masses in the recovery process- I'm the practical kind...and I can't afford good inpatient therapy ... ironical, huh? I'm lost in the darkness... am I alone?!

Dear ATerribleAddiction, do you have more details to share with us? What caused your loss?

For a start, maybe you can share your story with a close friend whom you can trust, it may help.

Welcome,

It is baffling! The endorphins in our brains get stimulated and we become slaves to gambling. You can overcome this addiction. It hits you like a ton of bricks when you think I spent $4000, or whatever amount, but your are obviously a thinking person and were able to realize something is awry and have come here for support. The only way out is to never gamble again and give your brain time to allow you to think clearly again, you chose gambling as a distraction, a social outlet, something to do, a way to make money, or for whatever reason. Then discovered it was destructive for you. I hope you learned the lesson we all learn before any more damage is done.