I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL

Today I confirmed something about myself that I already knew. That is, I have no self control when it comes to gambling.

Times have been really rough lately. My car broke down and is done for. Some of the friends that I thought were close friends switched up on me. And of course, I lost somewhere between three to five grand in the last one to two months in the relapse I've had with the casino.

On top of that, I was already living paycheck to paycheck, so you can imagine how tight things have been since then (I sold many of my valuables to gamble and eventually lost).

So here I was, on the 4th of July, hanging out with some people at a social gathering, but I began to feel alone. This brought about the urge to gamble, but I was already having daily urges because things have been so tight lately financially. Once the gathering ended, I went and called a lyft/uber for myself to the casino, with nothing but 300 to my name. I get there and lose down to what was pretty much my last 100 to 130 dollars. I take that and play baccarat. I played very conservative and focused rather than careless. Next thing you know, luck was on my side. I was hitting bonus after bonus and in a matter of hours, I found my stack up to over 3000 dollars. Yes, over 3000 dollars. What do I tell myself? I will leave if I hit 10000, because that will surely solve all of my financial problems. If I was smarter I would have told myself to leave if I lost it down to 2500 or 2000.

What happens next? Of course I lose it down when my luck begins to run out. I tell myself, I will leave if I lose it to 1000. What happens after I lose it to 1000? I try my luck at another table. I eventually lose it down to 700. I go to cash the 700 out but of course it was not enough to me.

The thought of me having over 3000 in my hand which would have been more than enough for a down payment for a car bothered me so much. I go back and try blackjack. I quickly lose 1 to 200 there. I go back to baccarat and lose nearly every hand. Next thing you know I'm back at the same 300 I started with.

I ended up lyfting/ubering back home and here I am now, feeling so disappointed in myself. I was lucky enough to actually win a big amount this time but couldn't walk away.

I confirmed once again what I already knew about myself, and that is, I have no self control when it comes to gambling. I never leave when I hit the goal I say I will leave it, and I never leave when I lose what I said I would lose it to.

I feel pretty low right now. If you have any comments on any similar stories so I know I am not alone please feel free to share. Feel free to comment whatever you feel is necessary that will help me in any way. At the moment, I feel like crap.

Here's an update. I went back to the casino again today and lost the 300 I had. Now I have less than 10 dollars to my name. I am a mess.

Sorry to hear about your recent relapse!

BadluckLeavesMeBroke wrote:Next thing you know, luck was on my side. I was hitting bonus after bonus and in a matter of hours, I found my stack up to over 3000 dollars. Yes, over 3000 dollars. What do I tell myself? I will leave if I hit 10000, because that will surely solve all of my financial problems. If I was smarter I would have told myself to leave if I lost it down to 2500 or 2000.

This is your gambling delusion talking. Even if you won $10,000 or $25,000 or $100,000, you would have lost everything by the end. There is NO realistic scenario where you would have kept your profits, let alone your own money.

The ONLY way to "win" is by not gambling at all.

The vicious cycle spins on . The only way to stop it is to stop it . It's that basic . It's just not that easy .

If we keep believing the lies our addiction feeds us , we in turn continue to feed the addiction . How much longer do you think you can go on like this BBLMB ? How many more years of this insanity do you think you can take ?

Please find yourself a GA meeting . You don't have to live this way .

Kudos to Fund Manager and NSR! I couldn't have said it better myself...

I remember my own situation once, when I was losing badly in a casino and my friend asked me when I would stop;
my reply was that, as soon as I won back my money that I lost that day, I would stop......What he said then really hit the nail on the head.....he said, "What about yesterday's losses? Last week? Last month? How about all the years past?.......All of you are right......it doesn't matter how much you might win or "win back", as much as a long shot that would be anyway; you won't stop until you make up your mind to quit gambling.