RELAPSE

traced wrote:You wonder what it was wrong with yourself when you continue with destructive behaviour.

Sometimes I wonder if some of us are addicts because we are bored ...

I have a low-stress life, a stable income, I love my job and co-workers, I am in excellent physical health, and I am happy 95% of the time. Oddly enough, I don't gamble when I am sad.

But I find most of the world to be boring. The news, politics, sports, history, family, friends are all boring to me. I only find games to be fun. My free time is important to me, so I don't want to waste it away with an uninteresting activity.

All that changes when I walk into the casino. I find the casino to be fun. Yes, something is wrong with me. I find the world to be so boring. Except for games and gambling.

RF, your post reminded me about the final conversation of the movie Owning Mahowny

"How would you rate the thrill you got from gambling on a scale of 1 to 100?"
"Um.... A hundred"
"What about the biggest thrill you've ever had outside of gambling?"
"Twenty"
"Twenty? How do you feel about living the rest of your life with a max of 20?"
"Okay. Twenty's Okay"

Sadly, this is how many of us will feel like in recovery. Over time, those memorable gambling thrills begin to diminish and we can start filling up our life with healthy and fulfilling thrills.

Aries, this is very true. I need to find another healthier "high." I already exercise enough everyday, and that does give me a "high." But as with all "highs" they diminish, too. One can only exercise so much before getting bored. Even if I gamble too much, I get bored of it too. I just don't want to spend $2000 in one gambling session.

I thought about sky-diving, but that is too scary right now. Mountain climbing might be safer.