On 4 years of recovery

by **NewSunRising** » Fri Jan 25, 2019 1:58 pm

I am hoping for the best for you Bella - stay strong ! I am so rooting for you !

Congratulations NSR!! Really awesome on your 4 years recovery. I have read your posts and realize that it came with a lot of hard work on your part. You are someone that we can all look up to.
I have been struggling with my addiction for many years now and I have not visited this forum for a long time but I am back trying to free myself from gambling addiction once again. Today is day 41 GF. This past year I have lost quite a lot including my pride. It's time I really give this a go. 41 days is really not a long time but I think to myself NSR has four years gf so it is do-able. Thanks so much for your inspiration and once again Congratulations!! You really are a winner!

by **NewSunRising** » Fri Feb 01, 2019 11:27 am

Thank you HB , and welcome back !

You should congratulate yourself too - 41 days is no small feat . We all face the same demon and fight the same battle . It's a long , hard road but you're not alone on it . We'll be here for you , cheering you on every step of the way and picking you back up if you fall . Cos' we've all fallen - some a briefly , some hard . The falling isn't the failure . The failure is not getting up and fighting again .

You can do this . I know it .

by **HokusaiPhillies** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:44 am

happy_bean wrote:Congratulations NSR!! Really awesome on your 4 years recovery. I have read your posts and realize that it came with a lot of hard work on your part. You are someone that we can all look up to.
I have been struggling with my addiction for many years now and I have not visited this forum for a long time but I am back trying to free myself from gambling addiction once again. Today is day 41 GF. This past year I have lost quite a lot including my pride. It's time I really give this a go. 41 days is really not a long time but I think to myself NSR has four years gf so it is do-able. Thanks so much for your inspiration and once again Congratulations!! You really are a winner!

41 days is kick-ass. There have been years in my life where I couldn't even dream of getting to Day 41. Really, that's a huge step forward. I'm finding that it gets easier now that I have other things I genuinely enjoy doing, but it took me time and several stumbles to get to that point.

by **happy_bean** » Tue Feb 05, 2019 1:13 am

Thanks for your encouraging words HokusaiPhillies. Everyday I think about heading to the casino just for a little bit of lookin' about and so far have resisted the temptation. Knock on wood. I have gambled now for the past 32 years and have tried to stop on and off for the past seven years.
today will mark 45 days gamble free for me. Everyone have a great day!!

by **NewSunRising** » Tue Feb 05, 2019 10:50 am

That's brilliant HB !

Keep it up - the changes in your brain will start to become more apparent as the fog lifts . You know it's going to be a battle but it's one you can win . Fight like your life depends on it . You can be free of this thing .

by **HokusaiPhillies** » Wed Feb 06, 2019 1:48 am

NewSunRising wrote:That's brilliant HB !

Keep it up - the changes in your brain will start to become more apparent as the fog lifts . You know it's going to be a battle but it's one you can win . Fight like your life depends on it . You can be free of this thing .

In my experience, it absolutely does. I don't have a life when I'm gambling outside of gambling, and the "brakes" have hit harder after each recurrent relapse. Willpower is not enough for me still: I have to realize that "gambling follows many into the gates of prison or insanity" isn't just something people say at GA meetings -- it's 100% been made clear to me that that is what will happen to me if I give it enough chances. And I honestly think "one more" could very well do it for me.

by **getting_better** » Sat Feb 09, 2019 5:15 am

happy_bean wrote:Congratulations NSR!! ...
...
You really are a winner!

Where can I sign this statement?
NSR you are a winner! I want you to fully and truly enjoy this fact - you are a winner! You won!

You always wanted to win and you won. Not the way you expected it, but hey, that's life - it doesn't give you what you want, but what you need.
Stay strong. It's easier to get to the top than it is to stay there.

by **eightiesheaven** » Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:57 pm

NewSunRising wrote:My years of gambling addiction sometimes seem like just a bad dream and once in a while it feels like I'm still standing on the edge of a cliff. Mostly it feels like a dim memory of a very hard and unhappy time in my life - a costly lesson , painfully learned .

I know I will never forget it and I know I will never willingly live that way again . Yet I also know how easily I could be lured back into the trap by the addiction's lies and promises . They are so very convincing and a tiny part of me still wants to believe they could be true .

I am not my addiction . I am not defined by the compulsive behaviors of my past . I will move forward , leave the past in the past and earn my self-forgiveness with my actions of today . It is all I can do .

There is hope and healing for every one of us . Do not deprive yourself of it . We have one life on this earth . We can spend it regretting the things we've done or we can do all we can to make our remaining time here the very best it can be . We are all worthy of love and a decent life . We have the strength within ourselves to make it happen .

You are all in my thoughts and in my heart . May this New Year brings us joy and all the best that this life has to offer .

1462 days

WOW! Congrats and thank you. I really needed to read that!

by **NewSunRising** » Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:53 am

getting_better wrote:Stay strong. It's easier to get to the top than it is to stay there.

GB , I'm posting this on my fridge so I can look at it every day . So true and also so easy to forget . Thanks for those words .

Eightiesheaven , I'm glad if you can find some hope and inspiration in my words . None of us are bad people . We're not greedy , we're not weak , we're not choosing to live this way . It's an addiction - as real and devastating as any narcotic or alcohol addiction and just as difficult to overcome . I found such amazing support and motivation on this forum when I joined . It is my honor and my pleasure to give that back to our members , new or old , struggling or securely on their recovery journey .

We all deserve a life free from chains .

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