On 4 years of recovery

My years of gambling addiction sometimes seem like just a bad dream and once in a while it feels like I'm still standing on the edge of a cliff. Mostly it feels like a dim memory of a very hard and unhappy time in my life - a costly lesson , painfully learned .

I know I will never forget it and I know I will never willingly live that way again . Yet I also know how easily I could be lured back into the trap by the addiction's lies and promises . They are so very convincing and a tiny part of me still wants to believe they could be true .

I am not my addiction . I am not defined by the compulsive behaviors of my past . I will move forward , leave the past in the past and earn my self-forgiveness with my actions of today . It is all I can do .

There is hope and healing for every one of us . Do not deprive yourself of it . We have one life on this earth . We can spend it regretting the things we've done or we can do all we can to make our remaining time here the very best it can be . We are all worthy of love and a decent life . We have the strength within ourselves to make it happen .

You are all in my thoughts and in my heart . May this New Year brings us joy and all the best that this life has to offer .

1462 days

Thanks. Your words bring hope.

Happy New Year, NSR!

Thanks for your inspiring words and congratulations on your 4 years of abstinence. You are certainly a good example of a person who could stop, did stop, and continue to abstain. Proof that abstinence is certainly attainable and not hopeless.
I know the bug will live within us until the end, but the longer you remain gamble-free, I feel it should strengthen your resolve. It was like when I finally quit smoking over 30 years ago; after a good number of years without, how could I go back to smoking? The big thing to me was that it would mean that I wasted all those years of abstinence and all the benefits of being without the addiction!
I hope every day that you don't gamble, which turns into weeks, months, and years continue to strengthen your resolve to never go back to that hell again.

Happy New Year NSR, thank you for your year round support and valuable contributions to this forum. Your inputs have been very helpful to me and I also gained much insights from you and many others who posted.

I am exactly glad that this gambling addiction happen when we may be down but not out and still have a shot for recovery. As we all know the chase to the very end will always guarantee insanity, prison or death.

Thank you again for another meaningful post. Your words and thoughts often resonate with me and my experience with gambling addiction. Your wisdom motivates me and reminds me of what is the best course of action for my life. Thanks for your time and wisdom.

Every blessing to you new sun rising in 2019 and beyond.
You have been so generous with your time, knowledge and gift to us. It is noticed.
My own recovery has benefited immensely from your care and feedback.
Love to you and we shall keep on living with hope, promise and faith.

Thank you for your inspiring words. You give the rest of us hope.

We need more people like you in this world. You're a shining example of perseverance.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU GIVE. YOU ARE A CHAMPION...(dont argue with me about that cos you wont win lol!!)xxxx

Thank you Bella . How are you ? You're in my thoughts . Please stay in touch . You matter to me .

You are such a GOOD person.....thank you.... im doing a lot better...still not Gamble free....but the binges are less frequent now. Have gone through another 2 years of bitter disappointments...let down so badly by a close friend...which i am only just now starting to come to terms with. its been hard...but im still here...im still standing lol!!
Hoping that this year i find myself again..xxxx