can a compulsive gambler ever come a controlled one?

Well said and well done , Fund Manager ! You continue to inspire with every update . It's wonderful to see you come back with such a great run of GF days - I hope you check in on your 2 year milestone and in the meantime ... enjoy !

Thank you HokusaiPhillies and NLB , for your kind words . Your strength and determination makes me very proud to be part of this forum . You guys inspire me !

I believe in the basic goodness of people . I remember feeling like a weak and worthless loser who couldn't stop to my own destructive actions . I remember thinking I might even deserve this miserable existence for some reason . I know what it's like to feel hopeless and helpless and doomed to the Hell I was trapped in .

But I also know myself - the values I was raised with and what I have to give to the world and to those I love and respect . It is that core knowledge , a deep unshakable truth that , even when I was in the grip of gambling addiction , told me : This is not who you are .

The gambling addict is not who you are either . We may never get back to " the way it was before " but we can never lose who we truly are - survivors , fighters , decent people who deserve a decent life .