can a compulsive gambler ever come a controlled one?

I all I am 40 years of age and had this illness for over 25 years now. It utterly destroyed my life and I atm I got no job and suffer deeply from depression and anxiety all coursed from gambling and the crazy thing is I still gamble to escape to escape my depression but gambling is what put me in the depression in the first place (crazy I know) anyway my life is over now and I wish every night I don,t wake up. Know years ago I had consoueeling from gamcare in the U.K. and they used to tell me I just need to control it as it’s mind over matter. Know to me this is impossible for a compulsive gambler ever to control is gambling. For the last 9 months I even worked out a way that I can bet and lay a horse so i don,t lose if it loses and win a few quid if it wins so basically I can,t lose! But I still lose as I lost 800 yesterday as this system I got is only one horse race a day were the bookies give you a price boost for one race a day with a max stake of 50 pounds so say a horse is 3 to 1 the bookie will give you 5 to 1 and I can usually lay it off at 4 to 1 to make 50 if it wins and nothing If it loses. When i first started doing this I used to be happy when they won and just stop for the day or if they lost just think oh well better luck tomorrow and at least they never lost. Then I started betting another horse in the race so I could lose 10 pound now as the price boost horse have not won for days and 2 of the horses get beat and I start chasing and ended up losing 800 last yesterday. This cycle have been happening about every month for the last 9 months. Always thinking I,am in control as I got this so called system and then bang! I lose all my money! (About 800 to 1000) so i can not win even with this system as I am a compulsive gambler! So please tell me what you guys think as I would be so grateful as I am so down today. Am I just a weak person or is it impossible for a compulsive gambler to stay in control even if he a winning system? I know I still crave that rush when gambling all the time! Thanks all.

Well I waited all day and night and I not got an answer so I guess no one on here got any proper knowledge on how serious a gambling addiction Is. I just found out it’s a USA site so maybe gambling addiction is not so bad as it is in America as the U.K. is the worst by far as it is advertising it on tv all the times and the bookies are filled with roulette machines. Well thanks anyway and I hope gambling in America don,t become as bad as it is in the U.K.

I hear and understand what you said Leroy, gambling destroy life and I think 40 year old is not too late to stop gambling. It is a very difficult addiction to give up because there is always the possibility of winning but we as compulsive gamblers cannot win because we can’t stop even when we win.

You are right, UK has the highest amount of gambling. Below is a recent survey.

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Gambling is inherent in everyone to a greater or lesser extent. But can we just consider it as a feature of certain nationalities? To answer this question, Slotegrator experts having analyzed the data available on the Internet and profile statistics rated 10 most gambling countries.

1. Great Britain
United Kingdom takes a leading position in terms of the number of gamblers. Mark D. Griffiths who is an English researcher in the field of gambling behavior has discovered that Great Britain has the highest percentage worldwide of players under the age of 21, while the total number of gamblers is 65% of all adults in the country.
Lotteries, sports betting, and horse racing are all traditional British entertainments. Children from the earliest years are involved in gambling. At first, they automatically participate in the process of playing with parents, which forms a fixation on gambling later.

2. Australia
Australians have also a penchant for gambling. According to H2 Gambling Capital (H2G), in 2016, the losses from gambling per adult resident were $990, which is the biggest amount worldwide.
The most popular form of gambling here is poker machines (EGMs) that are prevalent in Australia more than anywhere else. However, gambling has been banned in the country since September 2017. That is why Australia will soon take a back seat in the global gaming industry.
Read also: Survey of Online Gambling Market in Australia

3. China and Macau
China’s land-based and online casinos are banned, but state lotteries, sports betting, and Mahjong are still available. The total annual income from those kinds of gambling exceeds $50 bn and continues to grow considerably.
Macau additionally brings more than $21 bn. Unlike mainland China, there is an opportunity to play in foreign casinos. Therefore, 2/3 of Macau’s gambling revenue come from the mainland VIP players. Although the authorities are struggling with this, because China has a growing problem gambling among children and teenagers.
According to H2G for 2016, China ranks second worldwide in terms of money lost in gambling — $62.5 billion, including Macau and Hong Kong.
Read also: Gambling Industry in China

4. Singapore
Singapore has already faced the challenge of similar gambling issues and thus, is put on the 4th position according to Slotegrator. The hey-dey of gambling began in 2005 when the first casino was opened in the country. For 10 years, Singapore has become a gambling paradise. Therefore, a number of restrictions have been imposed on local residents.
Singaporeans must pay a major fee when entering the casino, while relatives have the right to ban gaming for a family member experiencing a problem gambling. Despite these measures, according to H2G, Singaporeans lost in gambling almost $700 per person in 2016.
5. Italy
This is a small country with only 2% of the global population, but it accounts for almost a quarter of the world’s gambling. According to the Libera association, more than 800 thousand Italians have a serious gambling addiction.
According to Statista.com, the total gambling industry in Italy was almost 95 bn euros in 2016. According to official government data, the growth of income from gambling was 21% in 2015.
Read also: Review of the Gambling Markets of the leading European Countries

6. USA
According to H2G, the American gambling industry accounted for almost $116.9 bn in 2016, which is the world’s highest value. On average, it is about $500 lost per adult annually.
However, the United States has tough restrictions preventing the development of the industry. Especially, there are many of logging bans on online gambling. Therefore, representatives of other nations overtake the average American in the cost spent on gambling.
U.S. residents love the casino and enjoy visiting Las Vegas and Atlantic City which are the only gambling zones allowed in the country. The second most popular form of gambling here is lottery. Lotteries account for about $100 spent per adult per year.
Read also: Another US State Legalized Sports Betting

7. Canada
In general, gambling is regulated here, and 3/4 of the residents regularly visit gambling establishments. There are more than 50 casinos in Canada, especially in the province of Quebec. Online gambling, scratchcards and lotteries are also demanded in the country.
Gambling brings a good income of about $13 bn a year to the Canadian budget. Recently, the authorities have been trying to strengthen control, especially over online gambling, but the progress is still insignificant. On average, every adult in Canada spend $570 per year for gambling.

8. India
For a long time, gambling here was banned. Only recently, the authorities have made some concessions and thus, the first casinos have appeared on Goa. Officially online gambling in the country is prohibited, but in reality there are no restrictions for the operators of online gambling sites.
Online poker is insanely popular in India, especially among youngsters.
Today’s India is considered as the most attractive region for gambling operators due to the growing middle class population, the developing digital technologies and mobile Internet, which are progressing much faster than in the USA, Europe, and Russia.
Statista.com data show that official gambling income in India is about $59.1 bn in India, and the results of 2018 are expected to exceed $130 billion.

9. Ireland
The ninth place is led by the Irish love to bet on horse and other racings, as well as to play lotteries. The combination of attachment to animals with an Irish passion for gambling led to the extraordinary popularity of greyhounds in the country. There are even special dog track stadiums.
The Irish, according to H2G for 2016, spend more than $550 per adult per year.

10. Finland
Gambling has long been recognized as a problem, and those residents who spend more than 120 euros per year on gambling are officially considered as addicted. The State provides them with free psychological services.
Despite this, about half of Finns visit municipal casinos weekly, where they leave, according to H2G for 2016, about $500 per year for each resident.
Gambling in Finland is more of a retirement entertainment, but the online slots are mostly played by young people: the average player is 18 years old.

The gambling market is very dynamic and its data change from year to year. First of all, it depends on the regulation of different countries. This rating was compiled as of the beginning of 2018.
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This addiction destroys.

I think the advise given to you "mind over matter" is bs. When I was fully in grip of this addiction my mind was not my own, it was not a choice at that point. I was driven to get the chemicals I craved, and if you do some research on the PHYSICAL, chemical changes when we gamble you may be able to give yourself a little bit of a break and form a plan to get away from this for 90 days. Your brain will change.

Your posting title was question? Can I become a controlled gambler?

Perhaps it was here, but I am stealing this quote. It came from a TV show.

There are cucumbers and there are pickles.

A cucumber goes to vegas, gambles - wins and loses, goes home and gets on with life.
A pickle goes to vegas, gambles, loses and then moves to vegas.

We all start out as cucumbers, but once you become a pickle you can never go back to being a cucumber.

But remember a cucumber can always become a pickle.

This was an excellent illustration imo.

I hope you find some support to eeeek out 90 days. It will take planning, support, and tools. Find a GA meeting - it is free and you'll find good people. You can do it. Why not try it? Sounds like you don't have much to lose by giving a new life a chance.

Uskat is pretty spot on with the cucumber - pickle comparison . I spent years deluding myself that I could somehow make myself gamble in control , despite the fact that I failed every.single.time. I might have had a few nights where I walked away with what I won but I just went and gave it all back again , usually the next day .

Brainwashed by gambling's twisted logic , I completely ignored the fact that I was losing money week after week . The rare times I went home with cash in my pocket , the voice of my addiction would crow " SEE ?! You can gamble in control ! You proved it by leaving when you were up ! " .

Those few nights somehow managed to erase the memory of thousands of wasted paychecks and tens of thousands of dollars in debt . Because I really , really didn't like the idea of never being able to gamble again . It made me anxious just thinking about it . I know now that that's just the addiction trying to keep itself alive . It was a preview of the withdrawal symptoms .

The thing I found with my addiction was this : There was no thinking of anything beyond the next opportunity to gamble . All I was concerned about was if I had enough money left to pay all the bills that were due that week . Eventually , even that didn't stop me from spending every penny I could scrape up , trying to "win" what I needed to live on. My whole existence could be summed up by the words " quiet desperation " .

The fight to be free of this parasitic disease that was draining me dry was long , hard and unpleasant but when I started to succeed at resisting the urges , the fog began to lift and all the manipulation and lies of the addiction became more obvious with every passing day . It was like slowly coming out of a coma .

You have to make a decision . Wishing , hoping and praying that you'll be able to stop someday will never work . You have to declare war . Going to GA is like calling up an army to stand beside you . It hammers home the fact that you made the right choice and you're not alone . Give them a chance . It will cost you nothing and it could gain you everything . You do not have to live like this .

Thanks for all the advice but I think you miss my point when I said I know a way to win, well I mean I know a way not to lose one race a day! As I said I can bet a horse and lay it off at shorter odds but I can,t seem to keep doing that and in the end go back to my old ways. As many have said In the pass that the only way to beat this is though the power of Jesus

Leroy, I don't mean to be harsh my friend, but YOU are missing the point. You're getting too hung up on making sure everyone understands the details of this ridiculous horse betting system, you're missing the valuable advice being given to you. You asked if a compulsive gambler can be a controlled gambler, and the answer is "No.".

I wish you much success in seeking treatment!

Leroy wrote: Always thinking I,am in control as I got this so called system and then bang! I lose all my money! (About 800 to 1000) so i can not win even with this system as I am a compulsive gambler! So please tell me what you guys think as I would be so grateful as I am so down today.

You said it yourself , Leroy . You asked us what we think and we're telling you . Because we have all been where you are - 100% sure that we can significantly increase our income by gambling it , whether it's using a "foolproof" system or firmly believing that we're due for a "lucky streak " . The results were the same as yours - the rush of winning a few times , followed by the brutal string of losses that leave us wiped out financially and emotionally .

If you've been doing this for years now and you're still not a millionaire , then it's pretty obvious that whatever you're doing is not working . No one here can convince you of that if you don't want to believe it , I'm afraid .

Until you accept the fact that you cannot gamble without losing control , you will stay stuck in the same state of self delusion that you can .

We know what you're saying, I've heard of people that do this. You do this. It's obvious. YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT. Don't view the caps lock as anger, i've made it big so that those words you can see properly. You said it yourself. You can't control it. That's the addiction. A gambler can't control it, even when he wins which you were doing. You couldn't lose. But it's never enough, and the mere act of gambling, win or lose, will cause you to keep doing it. Win or lose. You could win 10,0000000 dollars, and you wouldn't stop. You would go until it's all gone. Once you hit a bad streak you will chase and lose it all. A gambler can never stop. The money whether you know it now or not, is of no consequence.

'' Can a compulsive gambler be a controlled one ''

A compulsive gambler can not control gambling. Because he is COMPULSIVE.

Thankyou all for your reply’s and your right as I kidded and fooled myself so many times now thinking I can stay in control. What I find strange is that after a big loss It hurts so bad and I start taking dizampam tablets and eat all junk food for days to try and forget about it and then after a week the pain starts slowly going away and after about a month it’s like I fully forget about it all together and start the same cycle again and what’s crazy is I always seem to win again for the few days and after that we all what happens!