Remembering the Last Time you gambled

NewSunRising wrote:I'm with you HappyBean . Sometimes we don't even have to dig very deep .

I'm having a rough time myself right now - a death in the family , hating my job at the moment and just plain overworked . The death hit me hard . I've been getting a resurgence of intrusive gambling thoughts and finding myself having to use strategies that I had long ago lost the need for .

As much as I hate to admit it - I walked into a casino the other day and stood there for about 5 minutes looking at the slot machines . I left almost immediately but all the way home I was asking myself " Why did I even do that ? " It felt like I had just stuck my foot in a pool of full of piranhas and then pulled it out again . Part of my brain was saying " See ? Nothing bad happened ." while the rest of my brain was yelling " Why would you take a risk like that , you idiot ?! " .
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I know this feeling. It is a very depressing feeling. We all want to escape from it, and find an escape outlet. Life always have it's ups and downs.

I did visit the casino in my previous gambling-free duration. It wasn't a great feeling walking into the casino although I didn't gamble that day. Seeing patrons who ware depressed, retirees, old folks ...
In my mind, I always kept this thought. These people may win today but sometime or someday later, they will lose it back and give up their own money too.

I realised something during this period of being gambling free. I have other addictions which I need to address too. Temptation always appear during our weakest time. If I give in to my addiction or temptation, I will just feel bad or lousy after that. Do I still want to keep doing that.

So nowdays, my addiction is food. When I'm depressed, I look for something good to munch...inexpensive but yet, it takes my mind off things. I have good control over my body weight, so I guess food is actually my addiction.

We are all weak. Ups and downs are always going to be there. God created us and only in God can we find our purpose in life. Only in Him, we can find healing and be healed.