Gambling every year

Was in a city today far from home, and a friend and I ate dinner at a casino buffet. The thing that best helps me to throw cold water on thoughts of gambling is just looking at the basic math of it.

Reality: Let's say that you spend $20 on a bet in a venue that takes a cut, such as a casino, you have a greater chance of losing the $20 than doubling it. Yes, a person can come out ahead in a short term, but the long-term result of continued play is always economic ruin. It's hard and cold, but it's reality. To try to get an emotional uplift from such an activity(which is what all of the patrons are attempting, let's face it) will be futile. It is destined to end badly.

Gambling at a casino is like playing cards where one of the players is allowed different rules, and they can legally cheat, but you can't. Who would want to play with that person? No one thinking rationally. If we can hold on to rationality and release cognitive distortions, it helps a lot. I agree with those above who point to mindfulness and staying in the present as the best cognitive approaches. Gambling is very much stemming from worries about not being good enough, about guilt and fear.

Hey Rag,

That is quite an accomplishment that you didn't gamble for a year. That first year is so tough (actually that first 3 months is extremely hard!) When I hear you say

ragramini wrote:I just keep thinking what caused me to go back after being gambling free for almost 1 year.

You may be completely honest about that statement, but I remember staying that statement a couple times and I always knew the answer deep down... I still wanted to gamble. I was once 3.5 years gamble free and when I relapsed, I may have blamed it on a trigger, but in deeper reflection, I still wanted to gamble and it was the trigger that pushed me over. Even now, I'd like to gamble, but the consequences are so ingrained in my head that I can easily convince myself NOT to gamble if I ever get a thought of gambling. Since then, I have gotten to know my triggers (When Toronto teams are in the playoffs, unaccounted cash that my wife doesn't know about - Im a sports gambler) and when those 'high risk' situations arise, I mentally prepare for them and be extra 'aware' of my thoughts.

I really think you can be gamble free since you have had quite a bit of success. You just need to patch up some holes

I some times think my self that gamblers are defective in nature. We chose wrong path from the beginning due to some wrong circumstance during childhood. I had many bad experiences during child hood. I have social anxiety and low self respect. If not gambling then it might have been some thing else. We need to know who we are in order to stay away from addictions.

I don't really know if defective is the right word . I feel like certain people ( including myself ) might be vulnerable to becoming addicted or as some say , have addictive personalities . Gambling affects me negatively but doesn't have that effect on lots of other people . Peanuts affect my friend in a way that doesn't affect me . I don't consider my friend defective .

I used to feel like I was a defective sort of person because of my addiction but that way of thinking didn't do me any favors . It was mostly the result of my struggle with overcoming my gambling urges . Just my 2 cents .

The thought of thousands of dollars spent is killing me. Disposal income should be saved for future purposes. It should have been paid towards principal. What a waste of money.

That is true, that money could have been used for much better things. However, I think that the lost money is only truly a waste if we do not learn the lesson from losing it.

Gambling changed me as a person. My brother told me this. I was a nice person. I have Master's degree in Computer Science. I migrated to USA when I was 24 as a student. I came to USA with nothing (money wise) to pursue American dream. I got my Master's in USA. Back home we don't have casinos. Casinos are illegal in my country except in two places which is very far from my place. Until I came to USA I don't know casinos. I started at 26 in the form of 1 dollar black jack bets in local pubs in North Dakota. I did not lose much until 28. It was 20 dollar here and there. Since 2009 when I started going to Casinos, it kinda spiraled out. From 2009 to 2018 (August 2) I lost part of take home income every year. My brother who is not into gambling used to warn me since 2009 that I changed as a person and how gambling is evil. But I never listened to him. I kind of started realizing since past 2 years how bad it is as I' m approaching 40 (almost 38 now). Though I' m not in financial mess, it affected me a lot emotionally. I don't understand why I was into it when I have enough money to do what ever I want.