19 days GF

This is my first post here and I’m very happy I found this site. Today is day 19 GF, and I’m really feeling the withdrawals, but I’m going to make it through this!

I’m a compulsive gambler and this is my second and hopefully last attempt to turn my life around. From the information I’ve found, I’m an emotional gambler, or was one. I’m scared bc I know now the hard part is here of facing all the issues I was escaping and hiding from will have the be dealt with. My spiral into this addiction was fast and furious. I’ve always enjoyed going to the casino with my girlfriends and listening to the concerts and doing a little slots play, and then my father passed away and my family went a little crazy with one sister going into alcohol in-patient rehab leaving me with my mother who needs a lot of help and the full responsibility of the business we run together. I think I buckled and then the worst thing happened. I won a huge jackpot and then I literally wanted that feeling all the time and have been chasing that high for the past year and a half and have a mountain of credit card debt to show for it. I’m now banned from every casino in my state and the state next to it and I have to be. I started with just my local casino and found a GA meeting in January after I was terrified with the suicidal thoughts I was having from not knowing how to stop and felt like I was losing my mind. Started feeling a little better and then my addicted mind told me; you’re not that bad after hearing some of the more tragic and heartbreaking stories at my meetings and then I started sneaking an hour away out of state and did that for a few months and ended up right back where I was in January... I’m now banned from two states and went back to GA a few weeks ago. Can’t live like that anymore bc I will destroy myself and I know I have too much to live for and great kids and so much to lose.

I’ve been here reading a lot and have found great information and inspiration and have read a lot of heartbreaking stories and can identify, unfortunately. Not really sure of my point of writing this but it feels good to get it out. Thankful I found this place and GA and to know I’m not alone with this insidious addiction, although I hate that others are going through this, too. You could have asked me a few years ago and I’m not sure I would have believed how real of an addiction this is, but now I do.

Anyway, I hope that everyone had a GF weekend and here’s to a great GF Monday even if my jaw hurts from gritting my teeth and white knuckling it through my withdrawals. We can do this!

Welcome Getwell77 , and congratulations on your 19 GF days !

It may not seem like a lot to you , but it is a actually a major accomplishment . You're doing everything right . Self exclusion and GA are two of our most powerful weapons in this battle . Another one is distractions , distractions , distractions .

There is some good advice in our Strategies thread and feel free to add your own when you find something that works for you . I truly feel it's important to celebrate every little victory . This addiction not only ruins us financially , it devastates our self esteem and sense of worth . Getting those things back is vital to our recovery journey .

We have a wonderfully caring and supportive community here and we're happy that you've come to join us . We'll be with you every step of the way .

You are on the right track Getwell77, going to GA, self exclusions from casinos, coming to this forum and knowing that the compulsions to gamble excessively affect and disrupt the lives of many people will hopefully remind us that we could in the same situation sooner or later.

It will take at least 3 months before we can think clearly again. The important is that
you try, nothing venture, nothing gain. I wish you all the best in your recovery journey.

Thank you NewSunRising and rainbowcolor for the welcome, encouragement and advice. This is HARD, but so is destroying my life so I’ll stick with this hard and it will at least have a better outcome compared to the alternative. I’ve tried that and that didn’t work.

I’ll be sure to read and then probably reread the Stratagies thread and can use all the help and ideas I can find.

One day at a time... today was more like one minute at a time, but I’ve made it and I’ll do the same tomorrow. I’m looking forward to getting through these horrible withdrawals soon!!!! :cry:

You can do this , Getwell .

We've all been there and I won't lie - the first few months suck . They suck bad . All we can do sometimes is grit our teeth and just find a way to get through it . It may seem like it takes forever , but the withdrawals will pass . You'll begin to recognize the addiction's attempts to lure you back in with lies and promises and you will not fall for them ever again .

The brutal truth is this : the longer you gamble , the deeper it get its hooks into you . Throw everything you've got at quitting . Don't stop fighting until you know without a doubt that you'll never go back again . You've made a huge , positive step in choosing to go to GA . It's like having an army at your back . We'll be here for you too , whenever you need us .

Congratulations GW. Glad you're here

Thanks so much! Day 23 and staying strong! think my urges are decreasing and not feeling as panicked. Thanking God that I’m banned from all casinos near me- took banning in two states to get myself under control, and it’s a big relief (to me) to know I can’t go!!

Looking forward to GA tonight; I liked an analogy I heard there a while ago; that these meetings are like my insulin shot for not gambling...or something like that.

One day at a time, and today I will not gamble!

Hope everyone has a fun and GF weekend!