Self-Sabotage

Thank you for the birthday wish! A year ago, I truly didn’t think I’d see this Birthday...I’m still standing!

You are really strong and I admire the way you love your family!

I’ve felt so alone and isolated. I kept up a pretty good front until I really started to hate the person I became as an addict...the lies...not only to myself, but to those that love me and believe in me. I don’t really have support from my family...their idea of helping me was to have me committed just five months after my son passed away. They said that I was using my sons death as an excuse to gamble and that after five months of grieving, I needed to “get over it” and get on with my life. So, my support system is my best friend and her husband. Tonight, they took me out for my birthday and I truly bared my soul about everything! I was ashamed and embarrassed, but it felt really good to let it all out. They are wonderful and offered to support me through my recovery. I’m so blessed to have amazing friends like them.

I think you’re right about chairing the GA meetings, for now. I tend to go full force only to realize later that I’ve taken on too much. I’ll work on me first, then focus on helping others.

Thank you again for your encouragement and support!

Blondie

How are you doing Blondie ? You're in my thoughts today .

Blondie55 wrote:
All of us...gamblers...are missing the real problem. Something happened at some point in our lives where we lost our self worth.


Blonde Gambler in Texas

I agree, this is true - I don't think I began any real problems with gambling until I'd gone through a few tough experiences in life. Then it hit me hard. But, deep down it's still just an excuse for gambling. I've had some bad things happen in life, but I shouldn't have let that lead me down into gambling hell, but it did. I sometimes think I'd have just been better off doing drugs or something else that wouldn't have financially crippled me. Know that sounds bad, but hey, maybe not as bad as my gambling.
We'd all like to be mentally healthy, but let's face facts, most of us here are (or were) not, especially at the worst times in our gambling. Just that alone is a mental health issue - though I would guess never in isolation. There's also something else in us that caused us to want to gamble and get attached to it so much.

BC