Lost 30k in less than 3 weeks

Prior to the last few weeks, I had been on quite on a roll, as they say, over the previous 8 months. My game is blackjack and I would go to a local casino 3 or 4 times a month to play for 4 to 10 hours a session. With some card counting and a bit of luck, I just kept winning and winning for months on end to where I was up $30k. Biggest I've ever been up.

My best session was a 10 hour session where I won $10k. Another trip I was up $8k. I would occasionally have a losing trip, maybe $1k-$3k was the worst, but the vast majority of trips were up a few thousand. And of course I kept coming back for more and was feeling invincible. Having $30k stashed away at home was amazing. I wondered if I could get it to $50k. I felt I had the system beat. I was one of the lucky few that could consistently beat the casino.

Then a few weeks ago, I had some issues in my immediate family and I was upset. This should have been a red flag for me but I went to the casino with $10k and lost it all within a couple hours. I couldn't believe it. I thought I couldn't lose. As I started to go do down, it just spiraled down fast. Once I was down $5k, the other $5k went in half an hour as I chased my losses. There were hands where it came down to one stupid card. I had 2 hands at $500, dealer had a 6, one of the hands I doubled so I had $1500 on the table. Dealer turns over a 9 for a total of 15 and I thought I was looking good with a likely dealer bust, and boom, dealer gets another 6 for 21. Minus $1500. Several other double downs for minus $1000.

I took a few days off and I was mad about my $8k loss and went back with another $10k. I wanted that $8k back! Time for a lucky trip where I win it back, I thought. I am bound to win since I have the system beat, right? I told myself I was cool and collected and could play without chasing. I went to a table and bought $2500 in chips. The first table I think I made it only 15 minutes before losing the $2500. It feltlike the dealer won 90% of the hands -- just awful. So I went to a second table for another $2500 and lost that quick too. Repeat 2 more times and down $10k in about an hour. I thought I might have just set a record for someone losing $10k that fast in that casino.

A week later, now I am going to try again with another $10k. Again, time for a winning trip, I thought. I have had so many after all. I am due. But I start going down at the first table and I spiral down $5k. I get to another table with $5k and actually make it back to $10k (to get to break-even for the day), but blow it all. Once I start losing, I chase it hard to try to get back. Sometimes I would come back a few thousand on the chase, but it is so hard to stop once I am betting $500 a hand.

I could not stop. All I had to do was just stay away from the damn casino and keep either $30k, $20k, or $10k in winnings. I had multiple chances to stop. But I couldn't get back fast enough. But now the winnings are all gone. The more I won, the more I wanted and the bigger I wanted to bet. I never walked into a casino with $10k before these last several months. I was a $25-$100 bettor with a $1k-$2k buy-in. Now I'm walking in with $10k and betting multiple hands at $500 a pop. When I had $30k, I wanted $50k. If I got $50k, maybe I'd want $100k. Sick. This needs to stop. At least it's losing winnings so far and no real losses yet. But this is out of hand and I don't want to lose more.

Welcome to the forum Steve,
I am happy that you are here and not at the casino trying to win what you lost. It shows that you are seeking help and that you truly don't want to lose more. We have all faced the ups and downs of the addiction. When things are good, we believe that we have beat the system (with a bit of luck), but when we lose, we attribute it to simply bad luck. We always have the think that if we did this or that, we would have won. That is how the addiction keeps us going... it gives us hope that we will get it back. Sadly, that is not the reality. Try reading the Strategies thread for some good advice and if you really want to stick it to the casinos, then self-exclude. Don't give them the pleasure of taking more of your money!!

That is the biggest lie/ deceit of the casino or gambling,to think we can win and stay ahead. you will just lose more and more if you don’t stop.Casino / gambling is the worst vice there is I hope you stop.

-- Wed May 02, 2018 3:40 pm --

That is the biggest lie/ deceit of the casino or gambling,to think we can win and stay ahead. you will just lose more and more if you don’t stop.Casino / gambling is the worst vice there is I hope you stop.

Steve: Your story is all too familiar. I have always been a relatively small gambler compared to your story; My limits have ranged from $200-$1000....except for some instances where I really lost control and lost $3000-4000....My brother, however, was a bigger gambler....he gambled larger amounts; starting at $1200-1500, and eventually $4000-5000 a hand. He went for a couple of months being lucky like you, and winning $2000-$5000 each time he went...I asked him at some point how much he was ahead....he told me he had $50,000 in winnings in the bank.....I told him that was a good time to stop and don't go losing it back....of course, the gambling and greed is too powerful, and he ended up losing it all back, chasing all the way; even using his credit card for cash advances at the very end....
I think his wife had to take some money out of her 401K account just to pay off the credit card debt...
She was shocked and disgusted because she didn't even know this was going on....
I could tell you more similar stories of just the people I've known in my life that did similar things, gambling away large amounts; some of them not just losing the money, but their cars, houses, businesses, and families.... and all of them were just regular working stiffs like myself, working for a paycheck and eventually tossing it all away on a card table....It's a sad and delusional trap, and I hope you don't fall back into it..

OK, I am gamble free for 7 days now. Some part of me is relieved from not having to go and battle at the tables. Not much in the way of urges to go back. I possible trigger for me would be for some uncomfortable situation to pop up for me, like conflict with my wife, and then I might want to runaway and escape the uncomfortable feelings. I am on the lookout for this.

Congratulations on your first gamble-free week , Steve !

It's good that you're being proactive about possible triggers . Having a plan in place to deal with stressful situations will really benefit you when they come up . I allowed myself an over-the-top indulgence when I was really stressed out . I got a massage , bought myself some ridiculously expensive chocolate or restaurant meal , or if I was cheaping out , I took long walks in scenic , peaceful places or spent time in my local library , revisiting books I loved .

Most of those alternatives were things I had really enjoyed before gambling took over my life .
I also noticed that I became more inclined to deal head-on with the stress / situation than to try and escape from it by gambling . That's helped me a lot in the course of my recovery .

Stay strong - you're doing great !

At least it was profit that you lost. Ultimately the $30k will probably not have a significant impact iun the grand scheme of your whole life, so take this us a lesson learned and never look back. You clearly ae a problem gambler ibased on what you described and will only end up badly for you if you continue. SELF EXCLUDE. If you dont want to do it permanently, do it for 5 years..

Steveroller,

I can relate. I went through a period of winning on many trips as well, though my bets were much smaller than yours. I was thrilled to have shoe box at home with the amount of three or four rent payments accumulated. I felt like these wins were my "due" and that it was finally my time. But the inevitable, mathematical result is the same. The casino has the edge. We can feel like a Super Hero for awhile, but then when we lose, as we inevitably will, we feel very demoralized.

Notogambling wrote:That is the biggest lie/ deceit of the casino or gambling,to think we can win and stay ahead. you will just lose more and more if you don’t stop. Casino/gambling is the worst vice there is I hope you stop.

Yes, I have to agree that it is a destructive activity that hooks a vulnerable person in, and it changes you. It's like being a junky. We have to find ways to spend time which are truly nurturing to our spirits, not like this devastating obsession/compulsion.

I am 15 days gamble free so far. Work has been getting busier so that has been occupying my time. No urge to go back to the casino yet. I re-read my initial post and it disgusts me. When I think about the idea of going back, it just sounds awful to me now -- tiring and a big waste of time. It's strange when I see an advertisement for a casino now -- it usually looks like a group of middle age professionals all smiling and happy and excited. Funny how I never seemed to run into any of those people at the casino. A casino is the one product I can think of that does the exact opposite of how it's advertised. Of course, if they put a picture of a tired old guy drinking vodka with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and having a stunned look on his face, it probably wouldn't work as well for the casino.

steveroller wrote:I am 15 days gamble free so far. Work has been getting busier so that has been occupying my time. No urge to go back to the casino yet.

Don't create that urge in the first place.
Go back just once and for one purpose only - self exclusion (call them on the phone to verify it's possible to do so).

I've self excluded myself once from a sports betting website, on a permanent basis ... many years later I was with my wife in Manchester ... believe it or not, we just wanted to use the toilets as there wasn't any other around, so I handed over my ID to the receptionist and she told me I'm self excluded (!!!) ... I was shocked and told her I just want to use the toilets, but she said it's impossible because of my self-exclusion ... we eventually found another place but just showing you how powerful self exclusion can be.

Normal casinos always ask for ID, to see your name, and if you are self-excluded you won't be able to enter the place in the first place ... do it as a safeguard, as an additional layer of security for your own peace of mind.