Help me!

Hello everyone,
I am a 24 year old girl.
Today is a turning point for me. I have lost over 2000 that I needed for moving to another country. Now I really don't know what I am going to do. I can't ask from my family, because they have given me a lot of money already(spent at online slots of course). I am feeling so so stupid and angry at myself. I can't sleep good, actually haven't slept for 2 days. I sold jewelry that was very special for me. I want to cry, but I can't even cry.
I am suffering from depression and panic disorder and I have started gambling about 4 or 5 months ago. If you asked me to go to a casino a year ago I would have laughed at you immediately.. but look at me now. You never know how and if you're going to slip into this hell of a trap.
I already have told my mom about my problem two weeks ago when I lost 400.. with a lot of reassuring she gave me another 1000. She told me If I spend it at the casino again not to call ger about money never again. Actually thought of ending my life, I am feeling so hopeless right now. Today I went and sold my jewellery and went to a casino at my town. The money were gone in 30 minutes. I have never felt worse in my life.
As soon as I went outside I have sworn that I will never ever go to a casino ever again. I have blocked all my accounts for a year, because in my country they obviously can't let you delete them.
Please, I need some support right now.
I can't look my family and S.O in the eyes and tell them what a scum I am. I can't believe how they would look and me and...how angry they would feel, especially my dad. He is so strongly against gambling of any sort. He despises even scratching a lottery ticket, so I can't even imagine If I tell him that I lost over 2K.

Hi Hopeless32: You obviously have low self esteem right now; many of us have gone through it.
You need to give yourself the chance of quitting gambling forever. If you can really quit forever, I guarantee you will regain your self esteem and live a better life. But you have to do it; if you need help, go to a GA meeting and meet people who will understand your problem. We all deserve another chance in life after gambling.

Hey 58gambling,

Thank you for your reply. Sadly, I think there are no such meetings in my country, but I think I will give it a try when I move to the U.K. I managed to calm myself down a little bit after my massive panic attack this afternoon when I lost everything at the stupid casino. And actually I am feeling a little more motivated right now. I get a sick feeling even when I think about spending even a penny there. We deserve so much more and we are much more stronger than we think.
I have installed an app (Quitzilla) and have set a goal of no Gambling for a year. I am 11 hours sober now lol.

Don’t feel feel bad for the money you lost and stop chasing because you will go deeper in hole, they are people who lost far more than you.
But you need to STOP right now.Are you from Eastern Europe?
Be well

Yes, I am from the wild wild East, where 2K is a huge amount for the majority of people. And I know so many people have lost staggering amounts of money. One of them is my uncle sadly.
I have sworn that my foot will never ever cross the casino again, at least I will try.
Thanks everyone, I will update often. I need this right now because I can't tell anyone else, I feel ashamed. I feel also very bad that I have to lie my family.

Me too,I’m from Romania originally but I’m living in Canada from 18 years, I know what you mean...Good luck and stay away from gambling

I hope it's doing better for you, i suffer aswell from depression, anxiety and panic disorder.
It's not really easy but i hope you can quit gambling because i remember years ago losing around $2000
and today i have lost around $100k and i have more $60k in debts, if you quit you will only lose $2000
Stay Strong

RomanR, for the love of God, stop it and stop it now! That's a tremendous amount of money. If you need support you can send me a private message, we can help each other.
I think that's the root for my problems. I am trying to escape from them by gambling but it only makes it worse. And losing a very close family member in january made me feel so hurt.
I noticed today that I got a very very bad rash because of the stress. It took me to the hospital last year... for another reason though.
So today I am feeling nervous and tempted to go thinking to put a 100 and play it on a 4$ bet and try to win what I lost. I woke up with that thought. But after a little while I said to myself that this is very stupid and I will lose it.
So it's a small victory for today. Every time I thought about it I went and checked my progress on the app, it's 20 hours now. Baby steps.

That's really good that you did not do that, even if you won back what you had lost you won't stop and in the end you will lose even more, happened with me so many times, try to focus in another things, it's really not easy but you need to do it for yourself.