Finances

I did it again. I just got my bonus for last year and lost it in less than 24 hours. I just can’t do this anymore and I don’t know how to stop.

I think I need to somehow hide my money from myself if that makes sense. For those of you that manage their own finances (I don’t have anyone that I can trust to manage my money for me), what kind of strategy do you have. Do you have your paycheck go directly someplace that you can’t access easily? Do you cut up your atm cards? Turn off cash advance on your credit cards? I don’t even know if there is a way to do that.

I am just desperate for ways to try to keep myself from doing this over and over. I can feel it getting worse and worse. And I lose more money every time. It’s like I am getting desensitized to how much I am losing. And it scares the hell out of me.

Lost Girl -- you may not lose your urge to gamble, overnight, but you can take measures to reduce all of these losses. First and foremost -- self-exclude from the casino. And yes, ask your cc companies to eliminate the cash advance option.

Gambling is a form of self-punishment. If you can gain some distance from it, by staying away for awhile, then your self-esteem starts to come back.

I wish you well. You deserve better than this! You are a beautiful soul who doesn't need all of this anxiety.

Hi Lostgirl ,

There is a some good advice in our Strategies thread at the top of the page . I am in the same situation you are and here's some of the things I did in the beginning :

I sat down and calculated as closely as possible what I needed to pay rent and utilities and gas every month and listed to the penny how much debt I had .

My check is auto-deposited to my bank account and I am paid monthly . As soon as my paycheck hit the bank I took out $100 and bought a grocery store gift card that cannot be redeemed for cash and did the same for gas . If your stores / gas stations don't offer this , you can use a Visa gift card . They work almost everywhere .

I immediately transferred everything except $20 towards my debt . If you don't have any debt , you could ask your bank about opening a separate account that you do not have a card for or maybe invest in a CD . Absolutely shut down the cash advance function , or even better - cut up your cards altogether. Talk to the people at your bank and ask what your options are . Just tell them that you need a savings option that cannot be accessed easily or until a certain time limit has passed .

Be realistic - how much do you really need to get through to the next paycheck ? Once I had the gift cards , I found that there was very little I needed cash for . Having no cash and no way of getting any without going through a process actually helped with my gambling urges . I did cut up my credits cards - it was incredibly hard to do . The addiction fought me tooth and nail , but as soon as it was done the feeling of relief was instant and huge .

Lostgirl2017 wrote: It’s like I am getting desensitized to how much I am losing. And it scares the hell out of me.

As well it should . It took me a year to normalize my relationship with money . Seven years of viewing and using it as food for the addiction left me with a very warped perception of what I needed money for . As I gained more gamble-free time and began to see my debt go down , I became a bit obsessed with "getting rid of " my paycheck as soon as possible . This did pass after a while but when the debt was almost paid off , I started to feel a bit nervous at the thought of having access to my money again . I needn't have worried . My time in recovery gave me the strength and clarity I needed to stay committed to being gamble-free .

I paid off the last credit card when I had been in recovery for 2 years and while my first " debt free " paycheck made me feel anxious , I told myself that I was out of the hole and now it was time to rebuild . I still live simply , spend modestly and send the bulk of my pay to an online savings account that I don't have a card for . I have less than 10 years until I hit retirement age and I am nowhere near where I should be as far as savings goes . But I am far better off than I once was .

Hi,

The most powerful move is to self-exclude yourself. That move alone saved me from gambling addiction. I did a 5 year self exclude in June 2014 and when the option is off the table the urge went away quickly. I haven't gambled since and the thought rarely crosses my mind. Over this time I've saved a lot of money through work and investing which I have no desire to throw away. I realized that it's really not about the money, it was about a high and a distraction from reality. It was to feel something. Even the losing was pleasurable in a sick way.

Self exclude, work out a plan to begin saving up money slowly, and work on emotional issues

LG, Ive just read all your posts, are you doing any better???