struggling !!

I am 35 years old male. happily married with 2 kids. good job and earning well. There is only one thing which keeps me out of this world called gambling. I have only been gambling for last 5 years and blown around 80K. had big wins of 10K,8K etc. but always gave it back. I dont know what to do.. I am in debt around 15K which I can easily pay if I don't gamble for next 6 months. I never feel confident that I can quit. I remain clean for 15-20 days and then back to the same thing.

I just do't know how to quit. I have been visiting this forum for 2-3 years. Today, I decided to share my story to feel better.

Welcome Donewithgambling ,

Overcoming addiction is a battle against the compulsion to do something that we know is harming us . It takes a battle plan , it take roadblocks . Please check out our Strategies thread , if you haven't already .

Gambling addiction is nearly impossible to overcome by simply hoping it will go away . I'm pretty sure you know by now that the addiction won't give up without a fight . It's a fight you have to prepare and arm yourself for .

Being able to stop for 15-20 days is a great achievement , don't underestimate that ! You can use it as a goal to be attained and surpassed . Every day without gambling gives us just a bit more strength to deny the urges . It takes much longer for the urges to go away ( if indeed , they ever do ).

Stay strong and have hope ! It is possible to be free of this disease . While the addiction may always be waiting for its chance to come back , with time and practice , you will control your urge to gamble . It won't control you .

6 years back, I used to laugh at ppl doing gambling. somehow, I myself got stuck into it without realizing how severe this disease is. This is something where you not only destroy yourself but your loved ones also. I become a totally different person while gambling. I lie to my wife just for gambling.I am an IT guy. I tell my wife that I am going to work at night and go to casino.I don't even realize how wrong it is. If it goes something wrong with me, My wife wont even know where I am. I know if I stop it, things will be good within an year. I just don't know how to do it. I somehow feel that I have intelligence but don't have self control.

Next time whenever I fee like doing it, I will post on this forum. I am sure we have lot of good ppl here who will make sure that I don't do it anymore.

If you really want to quit, you need to be accountable to somebody. The secretive way you sneak out to gamble is the facilitator, the enabler. I always suggest going to GA. There one can find somebody that they can actually call up when the urge hits. It's a mistake to keep this from your wife. If you continue, she will find out anyway. You say you have a good job and 2 kids. The one thing that really jeopardizes that is your gambling. You are kidding yourself when you say you don't know how to stop.
What you are really saying is that it's too hard for you to stop. Get help. Otherwise, your future is bleaker than you know. I say this because I have known people who gambled away their home and family and basically ruined their lives.

I totally agree with you.This is going to ruin me if i keep doing it. I am trying my best to stop it.

done with gambling, do you have a plan in place to stop gambling. It does require some efforts but the end result is that I always end up feeling so good when I chose not to gamble, it is a one day at a time or even one hour at a time thing initially.

Give yourself a small treat each time you feel like going to the casinos or just put the money away in an envelope mark gamble free money for future use, you will be amazed at how much you can accumulate. It is much better than throwing away our hard earned money and messing up our mind.

Keep your chin up, you have a wonderful family and they deserve the best from you.

Hi rainbowcolor,
In my view, I can only quit if I forget your losses. Let me tell you something. My son is only 3 weeks old. He is a healthy boy. I also have one daughter who is 4 and half years old. My wife has only one sister. She needed a boy as second child and I needed it too. We even consulted IVF and gender selection for the same. The cost was around 40-50K USD. Though she wanted it but she decided not to do it because of excessive cost.That day, I realized how much money I have wasted and I could have used for these kind of important things in my life. Anyways, We did not do it and by God's grace, we have been blessed with a helathy baby boy. Being a compulsive gambler, It felt like I have won the biggest bet of my life. I will consider all my losses an money spent on getting a baby boy via IVF and PGD. That way, I forget my losses. In addition to that, I have also learnt how worst this addiction is.

The day my son is born, I have reset my life to 7 years back when I used to laugh at it. With so much of gambling experience, I can really laugh how stupid I was.

I agree that it takes a lot of effort. If I can put effort in earning money, I can also put effort in making sure that I don't waste it in gambling.

Thanks.

Hi donewithgambling, we cannot undo the past and can only look forward to the future. Do not beat yourself up, it has nothing to do with stupidity, this addiction do not discriminate, anyone can get caught in this vicious cycle.

The important thing is not to repeat the same mistake over and over again. Treasure your lovely family, do what is right and sometime it may seem like the long and narrow road and the reward is a stress free and happy life.