by lookforward » Tue Jan 09, 2018 3:37 pm
Hello newlife and all the other members.
Saying the truth about this issue is so so difficult. I completely understand it. We all do. I believe that some of us need some more time, but I also believe that the longer we do it, the bigger the monster gets.
I'm a very bad example. Even today, i suffer in silent. I was over 4 months GF, but relapsed early this year. Today is my 4GF day. I have talked about my relapse in other threads and my blog, but now, while I read this I can't stop thinking in what would have happened, If I told my ex GF, that I suffered in silence for offer two years, and she never realized? Would that make a difference? Would we break up just then? I don't know. No one does. There was a time that I wanted to open a shared bank account, where half my wage would be deposited. As i didn't told her what i was fighting, she never wanted. Today I'm certain that I should have explained her why I wanted, and maybe I would have stopped sooner.
You made big commitments with her, marriage, house... probably a family in the future. Try to open up to her. show her what you have accomplished and the steps you made on your own, and explain her that with her aid, you will overcome this.
I didn't do that, and it consumed me and eventually my relatiionship (among other things).
Today I have schedule an appointment with a therapist. I am anxious to have it (she was only available on the 20th Jan). Until then, I will continue to come here and try to regain my energies back on top.
There is one saying (in my mother language) that says it all when in these situations: Before it gets better, still gets worse.
Wish you all the best.