NewSunRising wrote:Welcome WTFDIDIDO ,
Quitting gambling is possible but it isn't easy and it isn't quick . I highly recommend GA and if that is not an option , confiding in a trusted friend or relative . This disease thrives in the dark . Keeping it secret allows it to grow stronger with every gamble .
Telling someone we have a problem that we can't overcome on our own is not easy - there's an element of embarrassment and a common assumption among non-gambling addicts that we should be able to " just quit ." There is little understanding of just how hard that is . But coming clean to someone and asking for help does two things - it gives us valuable support and a lifeline for the time when we are struggling with the urges and it makes us accountable for our actions .
It would be helpful if you could avoid watching sports and being around people you know who are still gambling on them . Find a new interest and immerse yourself in it . Self-exclude at any betting shops that you use , delete any websites you use for betting if you do it online .
Not watching sports is not a forever thing , but until you can feel the urge to bet and shut it down without a struggle , it is vital that you avoid anything that could trigger you .
You are welcome to come here anytime for support ! We will help you any way we can .
Thanks for the reply and support! I used to bet online and then pay/pick up the weekly winnings loses from my bookie(s) (in 2 years on/off I never once picked up as even postive weeks were merely deducted from my on going debt). When I stopped for good (a few times they cut me off simply due to being unable to pay but when I did I would go back at it) I actually did not watch sports for around a month
Despite not betting online for 3 or so months now ever since I got my new job I started making bets just via the offical lottery filling up at least 1 $50 ticket a week and this week alone i lost 3 tickets total $200 (this is actually not much given online I would regulary lose $500- which wad my limit otherwise I might have lost more)
My problem is sports is my biggest passion and I am actually very knowledable and I have had some big wins. Problem is I have made well over 5000 bets (this is a low amount but some weeks alone I would make 200+ and in a blink of an eye I could go from -300 to plus 1000 back to -500 and then lose my $#%^ wait for Monday and more often than not lose another 500 by tuesday. Or weeks I was able to be up come the weekend I would still find a way to lose it instead of simply taking the plus and wiating- yes I know this is bad and honeslty it is worse than I can explain in text or feel comfortable talking about (so the actual amount I lost is irrelevant- not that I kept track anyway- but ive been in a huge amount of debt last 2 years and I would spend 3 hours lectures betting and looking into things and stay up till 4am for example to watch tennis games). I was reckless to say the least.
Again right now it is no where near as bad but I still want to stop for good I am worried I am close to relapsing big time and if I ever go back to any online betting, it will be really bad
The mircle (and i guess a benefit of DID) is I somehow held down 3 very respectable jobs in this time (sadly only internships) and managed to get a degree but the vast majority of every penny I earned has gone to pay my debt (and feed my pot/drinking needs)
DID is very tricky because I can type this and say I am not the indvidual I described above but clearly I have personalities who are and as much as I wish all this was merely in my head it actually happened (even though I do not have full memory or recollections of a lot of bets- again I was reckless and often not in control)
Sorry if this is crazy and what not but again my DID is extremely complex and this is why I worry. I was figjting myself for a long time not to make a recent $50 bet but ultimately could not win and I walked over to the convince filled it in all while feeling like I was watching myself and could not do anything to stop myself
Also a couple of really good friends know my situation and are very supportive but they could not stop me from making 2am bets- no one could
To this day I am still in debt (it is not all betting as I had school plus other issuess I will not get into here- it is just crazy to think the amount of hours I worked to still be in debt). I justify this to myself by blaming my disorder and telling myself I still got valuable experience and all this while struggling to get a degree and dealing with other personal/family issues
On the bright side I should be fully debt free end of moth and start fresh in 2018 so maybe just maybe this will help me never make another bet again but again I doubt it