I made up my mind

Hey All!

I'm a 26 year old guy from Belgium.
I've have been reading here stories for months.
And now I'm ready to tell you mine.
(English isn't my first language so excuse me for the mistakes)
I started gambling 5 years ago on my 21st birthday. It all started with online poker. First small amounts, these kept on growing and growing.
I've put in around €30 000. Way too much!
About six months ago I self-excluded from online poker. This was realy hard because I loved this game so much.
This was a first small roadblock.

About a year a go I started online sports betting, especially football and tennis games.
This was and still is my downfall!
My last bet was last night on the champions league.
And I lost. I've could seen this coming.
This is so ###$ up !! The addiction in full gear!

I'm an optimistic and happy guy but it is really hard to stay that way.
It's taking its toll on my physical, emotional and financial happiness.
I have a well payed job, a house of my own, enough food in the fridge and friends and family.
But I'm barely able to pay the bills.
I'm €9400 in debt and I can't effort it to grow any larger.
Enough is enough!

Two weeks ago I told my closest friends about the gambling addiction. They were shocked but said they would support me all the way. It was so hard to tell them, but so relieved afterwards.
That was such a great moment for me!

About 3 hours ago I wrote a letter for self-exclusion for all online and offline gambling. It will take up to a week or a little longer.
Putting in the biggest roadblock.
I'm done with this addiction and the sword of damocles hanging over my head! I want a future again.
I want to live.


Thx for reading this somewhat hectic written story!

Day 1.
I'm closing off the past.
Building on today!
One day at a time.

Have a great and gamble free day!

Glad you posted.
The relief you found when you shared w/ your friends was a real blessing, and it sounds like you have friends who REALLY care for you. That might provide some accountability.

I go to GA and when someone is new to program and doesn't want to tell spouse what they've done it is always a flag for me --- telling spouse would obviously open up all the emotions of anger, hate, disbelief, betrayal etc. for spouse, but for the gambler it opens up accountability.

You also mentioned your optimism.

Some characteristics of gambling addicts:
Optimism -- we keep thinking it is going to turn around and keep on going back for more
Competitive -- we want to beat the system/other person/ casino / game; skills will win outcome
Compulsive -- we can do it over and over for longer and longer until the activity is exhausted
Good Liars -- even if not to others (often it is to others) to ourselves w/ the delusions we believe

Another humbling safe guard would be to have a parent/ someone you trust EXPLICITY handle or at least have "eyes on " your accounts -- to see where the money in and money out is going.

Also GAM BLOCK --- seems expensive, but more expensive NOT to install. Exclusion for device.

Best to you, Keep Sharing, We get it, We have the same disease.

The highest suicide rate from any addiction is w/ gambling so let us all remember the severity of our affliction.

Live in the solution! It does get better.

Uskat, thx for the reply!

It has been 7 days since my last bet, and so glad it's going well. There are a lot of football matches these days, so mostly the evenings are hard to get through.
I'm avoiding matches they show live on TV, also all the sportnews until I feel strong enough to watch them without being tempted to place a bet.

7 days gf
Keep going strong all!
We can have a happy gf life.
We have to believe in the strenght within us,
We can beat this together!

Xmame: Glad you have made up your mind. I want to say something about sports betting.
It is very addictive and hard to stop once you get into it....I know, because I remember how hard it was for me to watch games where I didn't bet, and if my favorite won, all I could think about was "WHY DIDN'T IT BET? IT WAS A WINNER!" I think you are on the right track but do not get de-railed by those kinds of thoughts. I also knew a nice guy way back when he was a teenager...he loved sports and started betting with a bookie on different games......Sadly, he kept betting more and more, especially doubling up when he lost, and the bookie kept taking his bets even if he hadn't paid for the recent losses, and he got into such a deep hole that I don't know what happened after that. A word to the wise is sufficient.

Hi 58gambling,
Sports betting is indeed something very hard to stop with.
Certainly Friday/Saturday/Sunday, when most of the games take place. But for the moment I'm coping well,
Monday is payday, so next weekend will be a lot harder, but I'm convinced that I will pass this test.
I stuffed it with activities to do, so won't have the time to think about it.
Looking forward to Christmas, it will be such a different one this time. Money in the bank, happy, and gamble free.
I have debt to pay back,.. That will take a couple of months. Next summer I could be debt free!
You mentioned 'the bookie'. That's something not that common around here,.. I did only bet online, so I could never bet more than I had in my account.

I feel in control this time, and self-exclusion will be in effect the 26th of December. From that day on, Online and offline gambling will not be possible anymore in Belgium.

Day 9.