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Hello,

Unfortunately I have to admit I started again.
Today is the day I stop again.

3rd time is the charm as they say... I am grateful for being mostly gambling free almost 2 years. But due to reasons not really defined, I started again. Maybe its stress from work, maybe its boredom at home. Maybe it's a combination of those two, and I couldn't handle the contrast between being stressed and having nothing to do? No idea. I do know I fudded up again.

Time to fess up to my parents again, which is the hardest part. I will break their hearts again, and to them it will probably seem I will never get free. And to me it feels that way too at the moment...
Already called my doctor for an appointment, so he can check me in at the clinic again.

The time without gambling was very nice, and that makes me go back to stopping relatively quickly. I was able to get my drivers licence. Bought a (used) car. Bought my parents, brothers etc a nice weekend holiday. The holiday was for them to celebrate my 30th birthday, but unbeknownst to most of my family it was really for me to celebrate me not gambling... Well, it looks like I have to book them another vacation in the future.

I'm glad you came back Enoughisenough , and please don't beat yourself up too badly . Relapse happens and all we can do is pick ourselves up and get back on the road to recovery .

I know it's gotta hurt , but your 2 years of recovery have not been made meaningless . They have taught you everything you need to know about how to deal with this setback and move forward .

There was this wise man, who happened to be an old time Gamblers Anonymous member at the Wednesday night meeting at Lutheran General, who used to tell anyone that relapsed was all that matters is that they are still coming to the meeting and listening. Every recovery is different. As long as you are still willing to change and get better, you can recover. This is an insidious addiction and it plays tricks on our brains. The number one trick the addiction plays is to convince ourselves that we can "control" or manage our gambling. We actually believe that we can employ a better strategy that we learned from all our losses. Nothing could be further from the truth. The 1st Step in Gamblers Anonymous says that we admitted that we are "powerless" over gambling. Thinking we can control our gambling, is the opposite of admitting that we are powerless.

Keep up the fight and u will be stronger than ever!

Hi Enough...

Relapsing after two years, must be tough, but it is something to be proud of. I'm close to 3 months, and already it seems like a good run.
I wish that your losses were not to severe.
I'm struggling again, not to gamble. Everytime something doesn't go the way i wanted, make me want to gamble. No particular reason, it can be an argument with our girlfriend, or something at work... but i can't blame however relapses.
I wish you to get your strengths back soon enough, and that your return stronger.

Regards

NewSunRising wrote:I'm glad you came back Enoughisenough , and please don't beat yourself up too badly . Relapse happens and all we can do is pick ourselves up and get back on the road to recovery .

I know it's gotta hurt , but your 2 years of recovery have not been made meaningless . They have taught you everything you need to know about how to deal with this setback and move forward .

well said, I agree completely.

I'm starting over myself