Try something different - delay your gambling

I'm not advocating, justifying or giving an excuse for you to gamble. I believe in being realistic however, and that most people simply can not go cold turkey and never gamble again. So try these strategies instead. And this doesn't mean gamble like a mad man, and I know people will say they won't be able to control it, but the reality is most people just can quit in an instant.

Cut down on your gambling. If you're gambling $500 a week, cut it down to $400. Small steps. Gradually reduce the amount you gamble, until it's down to 0. Or gamble $400 every second week etc.

Do not gamble at all for 6 months. Not one dollar. It will be the best 6 months of your life. If you can't handle the thought of never gambling again, gamble. But at least give yourself some respite. You could and almost certainly will however gamble even heavier than before you had the 6 months off, but that's something you already know. And that's on your shoulders.

I know people here aren't going to argue against this and day addicts can't control it and they shouldn't be gambling, that's stating the obvious. I think it's pretty obvious that about 99 percent of people can't just quit in the flick of a switch. They should, but they can't not won't.

So delay it. Ween yourself off it, or gamble a certain amount only at certain times. Again he argument wil come that people will spiral with this method. They're spiralling anyway. There has to be small and gradual steps for THOSE that can not stop just like that.

Go a week, 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years without doing it. If you want to gamble, that's your choice. Re-evaluate how you feel after that time.

At the end of the day no one is making you gamble it is a choice YOU are willingly doing. You are willingly and actively choosing a path of destruction you must realise this. You are never in control. I am saying this though for the people that can't find that strength within to simply stop, and the thought of not being able to gamble, or gamble ever again, makes them want to do it even more.

At least give yourself some respite. The end goal though should be to stop for good. But we are kidding ourselves that most people can and will do this. Therefore, do it step by step.

But know that anytime you gamble, you will lose everything, including yourself.

This post is for those that CAN NOT STOP.

Delay your gambling. Try something different to what you have been doing. Do not kid yourself though. And this is not an excuse to gamble, or to get back into it. It's like losing weight or getting fit, it's time, it's effort, it's sacrifice, it's hard work and work in progress.

I agree with you on the point that some people can't go full cold turkey. Sometimes the more we resist, the more we want to do something.

For me, my major gambling problem is impulsive loss chasing ; e.g. I can win $1000, but when I lose a single $50, I tend to bet again to recover the loss, so on and so forth, most of the times I end up emptying my online account.

So my tactic to stop this right now is to remove any access to online betting accounts. The ease of access to betting is what causes me to spiral downwards. I do not live close to a casino so that shouldn't be a problem.

I hope the people here can be strong enough to identify their root cause and take steps to prevent further spiralling down the gambling cycle.

In my experience, trying to cut down is a futile exercise. The whole problem of being a problem gambler is that we have no control. I have been there many times, too many to count:

1) You tell yourself you will be more controlled this time and only gamble a "few hundred"...
but when you do lose that money, you don't stop, because you don't want to accept the loss, so you go to the ATM for more money, and continue gambling to "win it back"....you end up losing a few thousand, only stopping when you realize you now can't "win it back"...

2) You leave your ATM card and other money at home, only bringing what you say you will gamble...
but when you do lose that money, you get angry and return home to get the other money and ATM card because you don't want to accept the loss, so you gamble more and lose thousands again.

No, I don't advocate what you are suggesting at all.....for problem or addicted gamblers, it is not a viable option; you have to just QUIT totally; as long as you keep gambling, even for pennies, you will keep the addiction alive and the problem will not go away. That is my belief...

I echo 58gambling's thoughts on absolute abstinence to gambling as an excellent way to remain GF. I have been in so many occasions where I told myself that I will only gamble a certain amount only to end up losing way more than what I planned to spend on gambling.

I am closing in to my longest time of being GF and I thank you guys for support!

Most of us on the forum have gone way past the point of responsible gambling and the thought of responsible gambling has only become the voice of the addiction trying to get us back. Your post might be good for those who are on the cusp of realizing their addiction, but I don't think it can work for most of us here on the forum.

I do think that some people can't stop, but that is because they simply have the addiction stronger than others. If they can't stop gambling, then unfortunately this wont work..

housealwayswins wrote:Go a week, 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years without doing it. If you want to gamble, that's your choice. Re-evaluate how you feel after that time.

Hardcore addicts have no control of the urges they face constantly and going a week or more is easily said than done. Plus re-evaluating how they feel isn't really possible because when the gamblers are in the cycle, their thought process is messed up and they aren't thinking properly. They can't properly assess their feelings and know what is best for them.

I think the only way to quit is by going cold-turkey (or MANY attempts at cold-turkey) until it final works. A gradual progression to quit isn't possible (in my experience) because we are emotional beings and we can't control our emotions properly when gambling, or else we wouldn't be addicts.

Guys with all due respect, re-read what I wrote. I even answered your own responses for you in advance, because I knew and predicted what would transpire as a result of my post.

If it were as simple as clicking your fingers, going cold turkey and never gambling again this forum wouldn't exist and nor would addiction and problem gambling. It's evident on here not that we need this forum as evidence. How many people on here say they're done only to gamble again. It's like an overweight person going from that to abs the next day. It doesn't happen. What works for some doesn't work for others. Some people need to do it and steps and even if they get a moments respite and peace thats better than getting none at all.

First of all, thank you for the topic House. Even though some of our views may be different, it does bring out some good constructive discussion, just as long as were are not attacking each other's ideas and respecting them.

That is true that many cannot stop cold turkey. But it there really another option? You did mention a couple of options to gradually lead towards extinction, but through all the GA meetings and therapy sessions, I have learned that gambling is a progressive illness. An illness that continues to gets worse and worse despite our best efforts to try to reduce it. That is due to the dopamine imbalance and the need for higher and higher bets to release more dopamine to get the same effect.

But your topic does make me think, which I thank you House! Is it possible, or has someone ever, or has someone ever heard or someone, extinguishing this addiction in a progressive matter?

Hi guys,

I also think this is a nice discussion, and although I consider myself a freshman among others in this forum, I think that for most of us, this would have a very problematic effect. I'll try to explain how I see things. I believe that most of us only decided to be GF, once we hit rock bottom. And rock bottom is different for all of us, as it is the perspective of responsible gambling.

I decided to stop recently, because I realized I had a problem. I In other times, what i did was:
This is me: "this time, I'll put a limit, i'll just deposit monthly the following amount xyz", and even applied for that limit in the sites is used to sign in. If I win some, i would gamble it away (slowly or quickly)... and then i would deposit until my limit was reached, without ever giving the true chance of collecting some and reduce my losses. If instead i loosed everything right at the beginning, i would deposit more until i lost everything, and then I would try to apply for a higher limit, which would have a cooldown period, that only made my will to gamble a lot higher (and the result was always a disaster).
So with the following salary, i would pay the credit card, and immediately would go and online gamble. and in different periods (and at different rates) i lost almost everything i could have saved from my last 10 years.

Today, I'm 81 GF. I've wrote in my blog that I'll reach 100 for sure (without trying to be arrogant or so), and I can tell that I've questioned myself various times, if I could ever be a responsible gambler, because. I don't truly no the answer,( or I don't want to face the truth), but i think the answer is no.

And then, another question pops up for me: What is responsible gambling? If it is " to loose money without caring, and without jeopardizing assets, life conditions, way of living..." well I'm not sure i can at this stage say that I would be a responsible gambler.

This being said, I think House, that although i believe it is possible to do what you said, I think it will lead to a very dangerous path to most of this community.

P.S. - I just want to add that, unlike most of these men and women, I'm fighting this without having the chance to share my problems to a GA or just a friend or family. I have decided, that I will only tell my girlfriend that I overcome this problem when I can show her that my problems are long gone, and that from that point on, I would like her to help me to keep away from what.
This (fight alone) is against most of the "rules", but I'll try to show that it is possible. Maybe your suggestion will be possible too. But both situations are quite tough.

Regards everyone

I'm pretty sure we can all agree the House is in no way advocating controlled gambling . I see this idea as a last-ditch method for those who have relapsed time after time and truly believe that any chance of stopping is beyond their ability to achieve . Frankly , I was one of those people once .

The greater question of the matter is ... would it work ?

I think for some of it might . I used a form of delaying tactics in the beginning of my recovery wherein I actually gave myself permission to gamble but only after I did X , Y , or Z ( some activity to take my mind off of the overwhelming urge of the moment ) . I got through the urges by presenting the idea that I could do it " later " , and when " later " came I was no longer in the throes of the compulsion and my saner mind prevailed . So the idea has some merit , in my mind .

I know more than a few of us understand what it's like to be constantly assaulted by the urge to gamble . I mean , like 24/7 , from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep . The first few months are pure Hell . It's far easier to give in , just to shut up the incessant and demanding voice in your head .

The addiction lies to us , in order to get us to gamble again . I lied right back to it . I said sure ...I'll go but I'll do it at the time I choose to . The key point was this : I already knew I would never choose to gamble again . I had made the decision and putting off the urge by promising it I would gamble later , I effectively fooled my own brain into leaving me alone for a while .

It bought me the time I needed for the gambling fog to lift and for the reality of what gambling was doing to me to become so much clearer . It was one of the many things I tried , and for me , it was effective for a while .

I don't really agree with the idea of lowering bets or cutting back gambling time though . I think those tactics will only keep the addiction alive in the long run and have a much greater chance of backfiring . But I have said it before - there is not just one way off of this sinking ship . If anyone tries either of these tapering strategies , they will know soon enough if they work or not . And if nothing else , it will hammer home that not gambling in way , shape or form is the only option they have left .

There are gambling addicts who may never stop gambling and many who are absolutely convinced that there is no hope of ever being free of their addiction . Anything that gets them to stop for a day or even a couple hours is still better than not trying anything at all and accepting this addiction as their fate .

Would it work ? I think it's a Hail Mary . Improbable , but not entirely impossible .

There is only one way to delay your gambling. When you get an urge to gamble, tell yourself I will not gamble today, maybe tomorrow. Then if you get an urge the next day, tell yourself the same thing, I will not gamble today maybe tomorrow. Do this until your urges stop or you are no longer above ground. In my and many other's opinion, complete abstinence is the only answer to recover and grow. If you leave any part of your brain immersed in gambling, it is like cancer-the cells spread. Maybe slowly at first but then rapidly.

I have an old friend who is a gambler in Vegas. He told me that the prevailing theory in Vegas is that the shooter who killed all those people at that Festival motive was to kill Vegas, not necessarily the people at the Festival. The theory is that he probably believed he was a martyr and saving countless others from the torment and anguish he suffered as a gambler in Vegas.