Enough is enough

Only joined this site today and am hoping it helps me stop gambling for good!!

I'm a 38 year old professional that has been gambling since I was early 20s. Id hate to work out how much I've lost in that time. Considering I have $30k debt and nothing else I'm thinking it's close to $500k. I get paid well now ($100k plus) but spend it all on gambling. I can't stop. I have an office job and gamble all day at work on all kinds of sports. I love sports and get no interest in watching a game anymore without having money on it. I used to be outgoing and do loads of sports etc, but now all I do is sit on the couch and drink and gamble. So sick of it and having no money. Feel like such a retard, all my friends have houses etc and I'm still renting and am a long way away from getting together a house deposit.

I'm too proud to ask for help. I just need to do this by myself.

Thanks for listening...

Welcome to the forum enough,

Your story parallels mine almost to the t, except that I've lost around $350K, have $60K debt and I don't drink. I also have a wife that doesn't trust me (but is working on it). I almost felt stupid and like a failure because my little brother is a few years younger than me and it mentally retarded and works at Walmart is in a much better financial situation than I am. But beating yourself down and comparing to others will not help and often hinder your recovery.

Enough66 wrote:I'm too proud to ask for help. I just need to do this by myself.

Those are dangerous words my friend. I have often said that myself because it was too shameful to let anyone else know. I wanted to beat is myself without anyone finding a trace of what I've done. That way of thinking keeps the addiction in the dark and this addiction thrives in secrecy. It only grows. Only when you tell another person and gain some accountability can you start really fighting this addiction. Attend a GA meeting and self-exlude. I found it a million times easier to tell a stranger who understands the situation than telling a family member.

I am in the same exact boat as well. I have a good job (knock on wood) and spend everything that I earn and then some on gambling. I wish I could give you advice on how to stop but I need it as well. Hopefully you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone....

I have been completely humbled by this addiction. I also know what it feels like to so terribly want to kick it on your own. Maybe we can be there for each other.... I am relatively new to this site so not sure if there is a way to contact me individually.

I have done a lot of research online, listened to audio books, watched YouTube videos, scanned print books, and even see a therapist. I am too embarrassed to self exclude but I may have to soon. I can't even imagine how much more difficult it is to be addicted to sports betting since you can access anywhere. I haven't found a replacement yet for the boredom but maybe we can both find a great one together soon.

I am inspired by the people here that have been able to stay clean, and also the people that can admit their relapses. I have never been much of a journaler but I hear that and meditation help.... We can do this.

Welcome to the forum Enough and LostGirl. Everybody here is where you are now and there are a lot of people who are very successful in their recoveries.

You both sound similar, Enough wants to beat it on his own and LostGirl is too embarrassed to self-exclude. I'm not trying to sound dismissive but these both sound like excuses that will allow you to keep on gambling. I believe this to be true because I did the same thing and pretty much everybody here has as well.

Self-exclusion is a brilliant way to give yourself a break and let you catch your breath and see things from healthier point of view. There is absolutely nothing embarrassing about it, in fact it's actually quite liberating! The guy who processed my request couldn't have been nicer and I actually got the impression that he enjoyed doing it because he realized that gambling is a complete waste of time and money and that many people can't control themselves. I self-excluded on November 25, 2013 and haven't gambled since, not a scratch card or office football pool or even a quarter in a slot machine.

Self-exclusion can also be done for online accounts as well Enough66 but it is tougher. If you are betting on sports online just send them a strongly worded email informing them that you want to be excluded for a certain period of time (at least a year). When I did it they said they excluded me and then immediately let me come back when I explained that I had made a mistake and didn't mean it. When I suffered another big loss I went back and basically sent them a profanity-laced email that told them what I thought of them for allowing me to gamble again. After that they banned me which finally stopped me from going online to gamble.

Once you get this taken care of you'll find it easier to tell others about your problem and you'll be surprised how understanding they are. Imagine if somebody came to you and said they had a gambling problem? Would you hate them or think they're losers or would you be sympathetic and offer encouragement to quit?

Aries has been here for a long time and so have I, we both know what it takes to be successful. There's a reason that you're hesitant to do it but that's just the addiction talking. If you're being honest you'll admit that there is no happy scenario when it comes to gambling. If you went out right now and had your biggest win ever you'd end up losing it back. Most of the reason you want to gamble is just so you can get more money to keep gambling. You say you'll use the money for a trip or to pay off bills but you know that a big win would only make you want an even bigger win.

Please listen to the advice given here by veterans of this addiction who really do know what you are going through and take their advice.
Buster is 100% right when he says we no longer gamble to win but we gamble to gamble. That my friends is the wake up call you need to listen to.
For me once I stopped withdrawing my winnings but just carried on regardless throwing it all back at the casinos that had already bled me dry, that's when I eventually accepted I was a gambling addict, I self excluded I told my husband and I found this forum.
It's not easy but believe you me if I can do it then you can too, I wish you both the strength to quit this addiction for good.

I lay here in bed thinking what a loser I am. So many false promises and lies. I know better as I am an intelligent human being. Knowing better hasn't stopped me yet. I am tired of hurting my family. I'm am tired of hating myself. I think the only way to escape is by eliminating the problem which is me. Though thoughts of ending it all have crossed my mind I could never bring myself to doing that. It's cowardly and the easy way out for me. The only recourse is to stop. So here we are easier said than done. I tell myself and my family this is it, when I only find more ways to feed my addiction. I received a credit card with a 3k limit 5 days ago. I maxed it out in 3. I got an increase to 5k and max it out 2 days later. I then turn to my wife's card and run up 2k more. That is the end of this story. This story begins when I grieved over losing 50 dollars. Now I can't win enough to satisfy the addiction. No matter how much I win I can't walk away until it's gone. My wife knows of my problem but would never understand the consumption it gives. I have drained all stocks/savings/credit cards with no remorse today. Just the remorse that follows losing it all and having a self pity party. My wife is the best thing in my life and it seems nothing matters but getting my money back. I'm tired of making her sad. She has supported me from day one and all I have done is let her down. She is contemplating leaving me now in which I completely understand. I'm in serious debt and living paycheck to paycheck. Even the pay checks are not big enough to cover the bills. Every year I pay off my debt and feel great and every year I run it back up. I always considered myself a strong person to able to overcome anything. In reality I'm weak and beaten. 300k a year and have nothing to show for it. The stakes are even higher because I'm about to be alone. I'm taking a serious stand against myself. Even if I end up alone I will conquer this and live to be proud. One more bet- I want my money back. 200k in 3 years. I'll never get that back

Hi all,

Such a short thread and already three (+ one, my one) stories of people who have everything to be successful and live a happy life, and here we are... battling against this brutal addiction.

Enough66, Lostgirl and Onemore. You must take a stand! Fight for yourselves, this is our battle and together I'm sure that we all will succeed.

I'm getting close to the 30 day GF, and it is not an easy path I can tell you. Self exclusion is a must! My addiction (in recovery) is online gambling either slots,blackjack, poker, betting. And self exclusion is real hard. The reason it is so hard is because, you need to be very strong, not to self-exclude, but to avoid the temptation of registering in more site. I speak for my self. I've self excluded in all the ones i was registered (around . I started just with one, maxed out, than registered in another... and you can see where this is going.

I believe if, you, just like me, if you joined this forum, is because you want to gain control of your life. You will find many forum users that are incredible! Very supportive, without being condescendent. You will hear the difficult truth, even if you don't want to. I know I have heard it.

Like you, I tought i have a good job, but mine is something that is not going to last for ever, and one day I started wondered: "what would happen to me if i get unemployed tomorrow?" this thought scared me so much. Today i have a good job with a nice paycheck (above average in my country), and yet I have nothing. My friends... worse, my coworkers, my coworkers of lower categories in the commpany, have managed to get so much more, than I that am working for a few years more than them.
In the past, I tried to chase all the money I have lost and gamble it away in just a few hours/days, and than I would fell miserable inside, that always had to smile for the others.
Now i decided to stop counting all the money I lost. I made a plan to pay my debt (which was small, fortunately unlike in the US, where I've seen credit limits incredibly high), and a plan for savings.

I suggest you to do the same. Stop checking your rearview mirror. Move forward.

I visit this forum almost everyday, more than once most of the days. You are not alone. I'm not alone.
Redeem yourself, and then redeem with your close ones. (I'm only now redeeming myself, and gathering the strength to open myself to my girlfriend, and hope for the best).