Worried about my future gambling

Hi,

Never spoken about this before so thought this would be a good place to start.

Over the past few years I have had a gambling problem. All stemmed from betting 50p accumulators online when i was 18/19 which slowly grew to £5 here and there. I remember being distraught when i lost £20 on a game. About a year later, the money grew to £100's and the inevitable "chasing the losses" crept in.

I gambled constantly through university, spending pretty much most of my bursary, and many late nights (until 6am) trying to recoup losses. I remember once gambling on an early kick off (Swansea v Liverpool) at 12, and then having lost hundreds throughout the day, I stayed awake until 12 the next day, trying to recoup money from sports like basketball and aussie rules which all started early in the morning.

I had savings of about 6.5k which went on football, tennis bets, had a 5k interest free loan which i took out from work and gambled that away. Enough was enough, I cancelled my online account permanently, and told myself i will never, ever bet again as it's an idiots game.

After this, I inherited about 10k from family. Needless to say, I opened another account up, I then had the fortunate (unfortunate in hindsight) luck of working my way up to 20k . Having earnt about 500-1000 a day for a month, I started 2017 with more money than i ever had in my account at one time. However, i never withdrew it. I kept constantly telling myself that "keep going like this and I will have 100k in no time". Then the day came, where Federer @ 1/7 lost to Mischa Zverev in the tennis. I had placed 7k on a sure thing, and when Federer won the first set, he became 1/18, so i placed another 3600, to get a nice little 200 pound on the side. Then the inevitable happened. Zverev won a second set tie break before winning the third very close set.

I had lost about half of my bank balance in a day. This is where i started really letting gambling control me. I ended up losing my head completely, placing silly 4/1 accumulators trying to get back up to 20k, I never once took a step back and thought where the 10k came from, and how much i needed it. It has also got to a stage where i punish myself when a bet loses by punching my leg, pinching myself throwing stuff round the house (idiotic i know, but in the moment it just happens)

I am now in a place where my credit card is maxed out at 1750, debit card is in 2900 overdraft and my AMEX card is 3200, completely in debt. Luckily I have an income of about 1600 a month (due a 1750 bonus next month). I can't imagine a life away from gambling anymore. I need to get out of debt, but i keep getting into more debt gambling trying to get out of debt.

My family know nothing of this and I am living day by day, saving up to pay bills until payday comes about and i can pay off my AMEX bill. I am sick of staying up until 1/2am every morning staring at the ######6 computer screen , watching some Brazilian team concede, and losing more money.

I always thought i was in control, even when spending thousands. Any help would be very, very appreciated.

The best help I can offer you is a suggestion for you to get real world help; specifically GA.
I think it will be futile to try to quit on your own. With all that you are in debt to now, you have to believe that if you continue, it will get worse. You have to accept and eat your losses, and move on with your life. If you continue to think that gambling will get you out of debt, it will probably turn a relatively small hill of debt into a mountain.............is that what you want? Try to see that, even if you were MIRACULOUSLY able to win the money back, you WOULD NOT QUIT ANYWAY. Can't you see how gambling is just a trap of greed and desperation?

I been where you have many times. Almost every sports gambler or gambler in general has been through this. The only way you can get out of it is through time, and not to gamble. You must know that every time you gamble, this will happen. It might not happen quickly, but it will. You could work your way up to 200k and this will happen. Addiction. Always wanting/needing more. It's a drug, your drug is money. Even when you have it, you want more. Need more.

If gamblers put their energy into something positive they could be very successful. Devote your time to good things. You're not going to get out of debt by gambling and even if you did you'd only find your way back there eventually. The pattern is there for you to see, and it doesn't get any different.

Fix your life now as you're only delaying the inevitable. Wasted time, more debt, and fixing your life eventually.

Do it now before you're 20 times more in the hole, which you will be.


inbox me as I will go more in depth.

You'll never beat it on your own but if you're serious you can be successful and live a happy life. GA is a great step and admitting your problem to your family is an even better one. Accountablility and honesty are keys to self-improvement.

I hope you'll heed the advice you'll see here and stay on as a regular poster. It's one thing to stop gambling for yourself but it's even better to help others.

Quitting is very much possible but it has to start with you. You have to make the choice and stand by it. Wishing or hoping for things to get better will not work. Action is needed.

Self-Exclude yourself where you can, join GA, see a counselor. These things sound like cliches on here i'm sure, but the heavy repetition of these factors is due to them being successful.

Most importantly (to me anyway) is to tell those closest to you. In my case it was my parents. I had become immune to letting myself down, but the fear of letting them down kept me on track through some pretty strong urges.

Your debts seem high right now, but it's not as bad as it seems. Start chipping away at it and it'll be gone before you know it. You are right to be worried about your future; the longer you gamble the higher those debts are guaranteed to climb.

I wish you strength. It is going to be tough. You are going to go through some uncomfortable times, but it will be so worth it.