I have lost to gambling, don't see way out.

The first month is the toughest, but the first few days are a bit easier because we are digusted by our actions and the gambling. Once we get use to the disgust (which we have done countless times and also convince ourselves it ok to gamble again), all the thoughts and urges come back constantly. However, once you get past that first month you start to see a real difference and fighting those urges aren't as difficult anymore. I often say that the biggest shift occurs around 3 months.

All you need is one good stretch of GF time to get the momentum going. You only fail if you give up.

Badlife , 21 days in the beginning of this battle is a huge achievement . You fought and overcame the urges , you learned how to distract yourself and you discovered that you can say NO to the addiction .

The relapse rate for this disease is incredibly high . I think it's safe to say most everyone here has been through it more than once . If it was as easy as saying " OK , I quit " and then never gambling again , few of us would be here now .

Pick yourself up , think about what triggered you to give in , and take the advice of Aries411 and RicardoG - find yourself a GA meeting and lock down your access to money . You can do this !

Don't give up badlife, just say to yourself "I slipped but can and will get up again". You might have bruised yourself but you can carry on without gambling. Don't dwell on your loss but rather about the money you are not going to throw away. Stay strong you can do it.

It's me again. forgot my email and password so made new account.

Another relapse but this time I won over 3000€ and now it's all sitting on my gambling account. Feel really $#%^ even tho I won this time because I deposited 500€ and was down to 50€ until I run like crazy. I did reverse withdrawal several times and could have lost it all again. Now I have timeouted my account until my deposit is through and will disable account after and hopefully will be gambler free for longer than 21 days...

Feeling like $#%^ and failure even tho I won THIS time. Won't happen next time so I hope I can get the money before I lose it all. I will fully pay two debts if I get this money.

Take the money and run badlifecoimg2, don't look back. For me personally when I lapse and win, it often turn into a full blown relapse instead of a once in a while thing. Winning just reinforces that I could win more and more good luck will follow which of course we know is a trap. I like the gamble free life a lot better. Stay strong, you can do it.

In even worse place than before. Have lost another 2000€ last weeks and feeling really depressed and low. Don't know how to handle this devil inside of me.

Working while going to school killing me but I have to do it to get out of this hell at some point. Around 16000€ in debt right now to various payday loans etc. Huge interest and can't really do much.

I feel like I have failed everyone close to me and can't escape this anymore. Closed already over 20 casino accounts but there's always one random site which I register and lose a lot of money again. Not even sure if I get to keep my job for a lot longer and then I'm 100% screwed.

Every time I get to 20+ days of gf I relapse and lose it all again. I really don't know what is happening to me, never been in debt before last few months. How did I let myself do this to me and to people close to me?

No one still knows about my gambling problem and tbh I can't tell anyone. I will try to survive this on my own and hopefully I can get out of debt before 2019.

Never felt so low before, always been happy hard working young kid but now it is all overwhelming me and I can't handle it. I wish I never got into gambling.

badlifecoming2 wrote:No one still knows about my gambling problem and tbh I can't tell anyone.

This is most likely the biggest reason why you are struggling so badly . This addiction thrives in the dark . If you feel that you can't tell anyone you know , please reach out to GA . Your school may even have counseling resources that could benefit you greatly .

I will tell you this - secrecy is a huge roadblock to getting help and it is one of the addiction's most powerful survival tools . I am approaching my third year of recovery . Thoughts of gambling still surface when I am stressed or unhappy and every single one of those urges ends with the thought
" No one has to know ...." .

Take that vital first step and drag this thing out into the light where it will begin to die . Having an addiction doesn't mean that you are a weak , stupid or bad person . What you are doing now is drowning in front of a whole group of people because you won't admit that you can't keep swimming anymore . Yes , it will be embarrassing at first but that moment of shame when we admit our addiction is a temporary thing , far less painful than the shame we feel daily over not being able to stop ourselves from gambling .

In the end , it comes down to two choices : Drown in silence or ask for help and save your own life .

badlifecoming2 wrote:In even worse place than before. Have lost another 2000€ last weeks and feeling really depressed and low. Don't know how to handle this devil inside of me.

Working while going to school killing me but I have to do it to get out of this hell at some point. Around 16000€ in debt right now to various payday loans etc. Huge interest and can't really do much.

I feel like I have failed everyone close to me and can't escape this anymore. Closed already over 20 casino accounts but there's always one random site which I register and lose a lot of money again. Not even sure if I get to keep my job for a lot longer and then I'm 100% screwed.

Every time I get to 20+ days of gf I relapse and lose it all again. I really don't know what is happening to me, never been in debt before last few months. How did I let myself do this to me and to people close to me?

No one still knows about my gambling problem and tbh I can't tell anyone. I will try to survive this on my own and hopefully I can get out of debt before 2019.

Never felt so low before, always been happy hard working young kid but now it is all overwhelming me and I can't handle it. I wish I never got into gambling.

Telling someone may help you quit.
If you really want to quit why not try this ?
I tried fighting this on my own for nearly a decade, it didn't work.

Day 13

Okay, so things went terribly wrong. I racked up over 30000€ debt to payday loans and see no way out anymore.

I did the thing I feared the most. I told my parents about my situation and I have been feeling really scared about my ruined life.

They want to help me and wants to find a way to battle my addiction but don't know yet how we will deal with the payday loans with huge interests but at least I got this thing off my chest. I feel little bit better but not a lot. I feel like I let them down and ruined my future.

First , I'm really , really proud of you for coming clean to your parents . That must have been very hard . Yes , I'm sure they are hurt and disappointed but they would be much more so if they discovered on their own what you've been keeping hidden .

Truthfully - the money problems will be resolved long before the addiction is .Yes , it looks impossible now but think of this : You've stopped making in worse . It's going to take a long time to clear the debt but as long as you stay away from gambling , it won't be impossible .

Get to a GA meeting and bring your parents with you . It will help them see and understand that this is a disease , not simply a poor choice or a bad habit . It's far bigger and stronger than either of those things . Their knowing about what you're battling will provide you with some very valuable allies in this fight . Complete honesty and accountability is vital to your success , even if it feels uncomfortable .

Find yourself a financial planner or a resource for money management . Tell them everything and ask for their suggestions . Even payday loan places might be negotiated with . They want their money back , after all . They may very well be willing to work out a payment plan with you , rather than risk you declaring bankruptcy .

Your future is not ruined . It is stretched out in front of you now , with the very real possibility of living it without an addiction controlling you . It's a huge and precious gift . Make the most of it .

You can do this .