degenerate gambler

Over the past 7 years I (currently 29yrs old) have lost more money then I can count and currently am 40k in debt mostly due to advances and borrowing. Due to slots/tables/sports. In this past month alone I have lost 5k. Like most who are in this position every time I leave the casino a loser I tell myself I will never go back again but then within a few days I am back again. It's at the point if I am not there for a while I am irritable which leads to very frequent bad moods.

I have been hiding this addiction from my to-be-wife (who will likely end up being my ex-to-be-wife as soon as she finds out) and don't know how to tell her.

Sometimes I just want to crawl into a hole and die as I know I will never beat this gambling bug.

Same here. Everytime i lose big like i did yesterday i wish like the earth would swallow me. Im living a lie , i cant tell any of my family ,i cant get the money back,its horrible. Yesterday i closed out my last online account so that is it for me with online gambling but the loss remains.if i could just forget....but no....constantly thinking at that maoney.

What you're going through is nothing different than the rest of us cinote. If you exclude from the casino and sports book you'll be less irritable and be on your way to recovery. Your general outlook will change and once you start making progress in paying off your debt your life will improve.

Thinking you'll never beat gambling addiction is just wrong btw. Many people have beat it with a few very simple strategies. Self-exclusion, GA meetings and giving up access to money have put many people on the right track and none of them are any better or stronger than you are. You just need to get your mind in the right place to do it. The first step is to accept that you've lost and not beat yourself up over it. The money is gone but it isn't then end of the world, you can still live a normal, happy life. And if you go to your spouse you'll have a much easier time explaining if you've been going to meetings and can show that you sincerely want to quit.

Buster is right Cinote .

The addiction thrives in the dark . As long as you are keeping it a secret , it has a place to live and grow stronger . If you haven't already , please read our Strategies thread at the top of the forum .

This is a hard addiction to beat , but it is not impossible . It takes time , effort and planning . Self-exclusion , roadblocks to gambling / money accessibility , real-life support and full accountability are your most powerful weapons in this battle . Because it is a battle . But it's one that you have the strength to win , and the prize is freedom .

You are not alone in this . We will help you any way we can .