5 weeks gamble free today

Well I'm 5 weeks gamble free...My husband and I are slowly getting better but for the most part he's been very understanding about things. I feel terrible for all the stress I've caused him. He isn't sleeping well and has to get up so early for work to commute to his business 1.5 hrs away. I know he's worrying about our finances. I've added aprox 90 000 of debt. over 2.5 yrs 45 000 since my last confession. The debt is worrying me as well. I can't believe how money just seem to have no value when I was gambling ..but when it's time to pay bills that's a whole other story. This debt is on top of our reg. debt load so we are about 190 000 in debt unsecured. plus a mortgage and car loan. One son in last yr of University. Scary situation. ..We are paying our bills but I've got us so tight it's ridiculous. My hubby makes a very decent living too. and I work at my own business. He is the main earner for the family though. I really don't know how I let things get this bad..I'm such a sensible person in all other ways. I have not self excluded and this is a bone of contention with my hubby. The picture taking data base thing like a common criminal ..I just can't do it. plus we live in a small city and I guarantee it would get out there. ..Not that I hide what I've done but I choose to share this with people who understand and won't gossip about me. ...I have no intention of going ..he's worried because the casino just opened in Jan in our city..before that it was an hour away. ..I dabbled in online as well. I self excluded from 2 of the 4 casinos I played on. .Boy are the casinos ever trying hard to get me back..The cruise I was on where I blew 10 000 just offered me a second free cruise with 1000 free play. Didn't even tell hubby. ..He would say it isn't free you PAID for it already...he would be right. ....So 35 days gamble free ...If we could just get the debt in better order I would feel less stressed but it's so depressing.....I can't gamble for sure..but I can't do anything else either...clean cook and work take care of my family...that's my life right now. ...I deserve nothing ....Good luck to all who are struggling.

hi traced thanks for your comments on my post, 5 weeks gamble free thats great, i am on my 3rd day today and hope i can get to 5 weeks, you have done very well under the circumstances, and yes money definitely has no value when gambling, crazy to think that at the time i no.

And as yourself i chose to share this with people who understand and can relate, for me i think all these experiences will help me massively in the long run, as they are already starting to do.

i wish you and your husband all the best and hope you keep trying and keep fighting as i will be doing

Congrats, Traced, on five weeks gambling-free!! You are deciding your own fate. That is empowering.

I wish you peace and serenity. And a weekend without gambling.

Well done Traced on your five weeks. I myself are 37 days gamble free. we can do this we deserve a better life. Gambling is so evil it takes away our ourself worth. Give your self some rewards, take yourself for a walk, a coffee somewhere, a massage or haircut. We have to reward ourselves for not gambling and do nice things. I believe it's important.

Hi traced well done on five weeks GF! I know the debt is a mess and a worry, I have caused real financial problems for us, the guilt is with me every day. It's ridiculous how much we just kept throwing our money away, and knowing we won't ever be getting anything back. We are just about managing but we should be doing so much more than that, but it is what it is, we just have to get those debts paid off and then we really will be rid of gambling for good. Stay strong

5 weeks is a great accomplishment! You are well on your way on the path of recovery. There were a few sentences that jumped out at me in your post...

traced wrote: I really don't know how I let things get this bad..I'm such a sensible person in all other ways

That is true of many gamblers. We are not defined by this addiction and shouldn't be. We are SO much more than this weakness we have aquired. All people have weaknesses even though we may not see in on the outside in other people. We often view people so perfect and always so harsh on ourselves because we know what is running inside us. Focus on your good qualities and you know that you are a great, incredible and unique person.

traced wrote: I have not self excluded and this is a bone of contention with my hubby. The picture taking data base thing like a common criminal ..I just can't do it. plus we live in a small city and I guarantee it would get out there

It may not be, but this may the addiction trying to keep a little hole available to come back. It also deals with the shame of the actions of our gambling. There is no shame in admitting we need help and have a problem. I would rather deal with the shame of people finding out that I have self-excluded from a money grabbing casino than dealing with the shame of relapsing and loosing another huge amount of money. Not caring about what others think and focusing only on your hapiness is not that easy to do, but it leads to a much happier way of living.

traced wrote:.I can't gamble for sure..but I can't do anything else either...clean cook and work take care of my family...that's my life right now

By you NOT gambling, you are doing a huge thing!! You are taking back your life and you are giving your future a chance of getting through this. Perhaps that is your life right now, but it won't be like this forever. Look around and see that you fortunate to have what you have. It could have been a lot worse. Many families are completely broken after information like this gets out, but you still have your famliy and house. You still have a place to live and you not living on the streets. There is still so much to be grateful for

traced wrote:I deserve nothing

We gamblers beat ourselves so much because of the wrong we have done and feel that we deserve nothing. We think that we should have not lost the money, that we should not have had the addiction and that we could have had a happy life without the addiction. All those shoulds and coulds put unnecessary expections of 'perfection' in our lifes. We are not perfect and this addiction is not something we asked for. We simply had an unhealthy reaction to the act of gambling (if fullfilled a need that we were lacking). We do not have to be sorry for it, it was beyond our control (even though we think we are in control). I would never say sorry if I got cancer, which is not within my control. We need to see the addiction and all the things we did as something that we had no control over and then move on with our life. It doesn't mean we ignore the losses and say we did nothing. We need to be resonsible of the consequences we created and learn from it, but we can't continuously beat ourselves up because of it. That doesn't help anyone.