4 years of gambling

Hey. It is my first post, been reading this forum for the last month though. I am 26 years old and been gambling since age of 18. I started with an online poker and I had a dream to become a poker pro like many do. It wasn't really a problem because I was a winning player till age of 22. Then I got drunk and decided to play a bit. I had about 3000$ in my poker account then. I was tilting like insane and lost it all overnight. That's when I understood that I must change something. At that time my wage was ~700eur (that's more then average in my country). I didn't had a girlfriend, wife or kids, so after that loss I went back to the UK (I was there for one year previously). There I got a pretty good job for me and I earned 2000gbp/month. I didn't gamble at first because I was too busy working all the time. But deep down I knew that I went to the UK only to make back that money I lost gambling and continue my poker career.
After about 3 months hard work, I had saved a pretty good money already but then I got introduced to online sports betting.. It was August.. In may was my birthday when my mum called me to congratulate me and I confessed to her in tears that I have wasted the whole year in UK and gambled away everything I got. I had to borrow money from her to go home for my holiday ( i had planned that holiday before already, and had told to everyone already).
My plan at first was to go to UK only for a year. But left with no money I returned back after holiday for another year but my gambling didn't stop. After one more year I left the uk with 2000gbp. And aproximatelly 10000 debt in UK. I haven't paid it back and probably won't because I am not going back to UK.
I wasn't playing in my home country much at first because I was living together with my mum and she couldn't see that I am gambling again. It's almost 2 years since I came back and I have probably lost 15 more thousand while living here.
In total I have lost about 50k in the last 4 years. I know it's nothing for some of you but in my country average wage is 500eur, so that is pretty big.
2 weeks before christmas in 2016 I simply started crying in my pillow next to my girlfriend, she was asking me whats up etc, why you crying.. But I couldn't tell her in how deep $#%^ I am (we were living together for one year already) Because I thought that she will leave me. After 2 days I finally told her about how big my problem is. I didn't tell her about the debt I have. I am not counting UK's debt but in here my debt is aproximately 5000eur. And almost all of it is payday loans.
After that confession I didn't gamble for almost 2 months. Then I relapsed and lost 370eur in online poker. Few days later one of my friends that has a gambling addiction as well told me that he won 2k on slots. After he told me that I went to play some slots with 50eur, I got up to 150eur withdrawed it and haven't played since. My last day gambling was 18th february. I find it really helps reading this forum.
And another thing, right now I don't really have much money because I am trying to pay off that 5k debt right now, but I am not sure what will happen when I will have spare money and I start gambling again.

Welcome to the forum Eddy,

First of all congrats on being gamble free since mid Feb. Some of us have horrible urges everyday and find it difficult to abstain at the start. You are hopefully at a point where you can really start to recover as oppose to constantly battling the urges to gamble. Give up on the dream of a poker pro.. its a horrible life. Most cannot earn a living and are really just gambling addicts who are scared to admit it. Poker Pro sounds so much better than gambling addict living paycheck to paycheck. If you want to stop, please self exclude from your accounts and seek a support network like GA. They will understand what you are going through and can give first hand advice. I hope you continue to post and read on this forum