Hello everyone. I believe I may have a gambling addiction. About 7 months ago my friend and I randomly decided to check out the local casino together. This was only the second time I ever step foot in a casino. The first time was in my early 20s when patrons could still smoke inside so I was completely turned off. This second trip was different. We played a few slots. Learned how to play blackjack. And ate a pretty tasty dinner. I spent a total of $75. We had fun and then we left...simply as that.
A few days later I had a urge to go back. This time I came with a colorful cheat sheet on basis blackjack strategy so other players wouldn't get irritated with me lol. I played for a few hours and than decided to go grocery shopping instead. As I was walking out this colorful screen on a slot machine caught my attention. I stopped and put $20 inside....didn't even sit down....just stood there and hit the button a few times. Out of nowhere, the machine went crazy.....I just won the grand jackpot of $10,000!!!!!
I am sure you all can imagine what happened next....over the next 190 days and gambled 150 days. Sometimes over 12-18 hours at a time. I even called out sick for work (which I NEVER do) to spend the day gambling alone. One time I was so focused on blackjack I didn't want to get up to use the bathroom. I kept holding and holding....finally I literally had to run to the bathroom to go. Shameful, the semi peed myself. I normal person would of left. I just wrapped my jacket around my waist and continue to play for another 5 hours. Absolute insanity!! I lost $59,000 plus another $36,000 of jackpots I won totaling $95,000. WTF!!! I don't understand what happened. I had SO many opportunities to walk away with a good deal of money but I kept thinking, "I know I can get a little more....one more hand, one more spin"..than I would walk out empty handed with my heart and soul dragging on the floor behind me.
Last week I had to come clean about my gambling issues to my husband. He was very disappointed but mostly worried about our financial future. We cried and yelled and hugged and laughed. We put together a plan. That was 4 days ago. I am 4 days gamble free. (Min by min) Today he left for a business trip. I do not want to go back but I can't stop thinking about it. The noises from my favorite slots are playing in my head. I don't understand what is going on or what I should do. I went to a AA meeting tonight which helped for a little but now at 12:20am I am feeling weaker than ever. Ugh.....this sucks. I can't believe I found myself in this same boat.....twice!!!! Anyways, thanks for listening and thanks for letting me share!!