Will I break out?

First time posting here.. I gambled for 14 years. During them 14 years the amount of days i did not gamble probably equated to 14 days. I never had savings. Any money i had went into gambling. Some months i was broke and in debt and then more months i was living like a king. I had no real responsibility and was living in a bubble. My life revolved around gambling. It was the only thing i was doing. I didnt really develop as a person. That is the real thing that annoys me to this day. My personality didnt develop, I didnt move on at work and people i grew up with seemed to outgrow me.

One day I came to a realization that i needed to stop. I count myself an intelligent person and i now do realize gambling is a disease that affects you and the people around you. Im not going to list out the lies and stories iv had with gambling here.. Every gambler nearly shares the same experiences with it anyway.. However for me to stop on one day makes me a bit apprehensive. I havnt had a bet in 2 years. Your probably saying 'awh sure hes safe hes gone away from it' but thats the thing.. I have a fear that i will return to it..Has anyone ever just stopped on one particular day and able to stay off it from then on.

Your fear is a healthy thing. There is a common saying I'm sure most people have heard when talking about a gambler. "It's in the blood." What that means to me is that it's a disease that is lifelong.
It will always want to break out. Our only defense is recognizing that, and doing whatever it takes to not relapse into doing it. I quit smoking over 30 years ago, and I know I will never smoke another cigarette in my life. I can't even stand to be around cigarette smoke anymore. That is a healthy thing.
I hope to feel that way about gambling. Not want to be around it. See it for what it is, and stay away from it....knowing that like smoking, if I smoked just one cigarette, I could be hooked and right back into that miserably dirty habit.

I am also 2 years gamble-free , and yes - for me , the fear is there . Like 58gambling , I think that it's a healthy fear . Complacency had caused a major , devastating relapse in my life before .

I liken it to the same small fear I have when driving in very bad weather . That small undercurrent of fear keeps me alert and on my guard for possible danger due to lack of attention . That small fear helps to keep me safe .

My personal opinion is that I will be a gambling addict for the rest of my life , that my brain has been irreversibly changed by my 7 year addiction . I will never be able to gamble again without sparking a instant descent into the Hell of my addiction .

I have come to realize that every thought about gambling , every idea that I could do it as a normal person does , every subconscious suggestion that I have control now , is simply the addiction's way of trying to come back to life .

I have come to accept that it will always be standing on the other side of that locked door , looking for a way to get back in .

I got so fed up with it on November 28, 2013 that I self-excluded and never gambled again.

deckyk wrote:First time posting here.. I gambled for 14 years. During them 14 years the amount of days i did not gamble probably equated to 14 days. I never had savings. Any money i had went into gambling. Some months i was broke and in debt and then more months i was living like a king. I had no real responsibility and was living in a bubble. My life revolved around gambling. It was the only thing i was doing. I didnt really develop as a person. That is the real thing that annoys me to this day. My personality didnt develop, I didnt move on at work and people i grew up with seemed to outgrow me.

One day I came to a realization that i needed to stop. I count myself an intelligent person and i now do realize gambling is a disease that affects you and the people around you. Im not going to list out the lies and stories iv had with gambling here.. Every gambler nearly shares the same experiences with it anyway.. However for me to stop on one day makes me a bit apprehensive. I havnt had a bet in 2 years. Your probably saying 'awh sure hes safe hes gone away from it' but thats the thing.. I have a fear that i will return to it..Has anyone ever just stopped on one particular day and able to stay off it from then on.

I played blackjack about 25 year ago I was semi gambling then ... losing more money then I should but it doesnt compare to now. Then I got to the point that I realized I wasnt making money and just stopped.

But Im here again stock trading and its worse then ever. When I look at why I do it - seems to be a series of events that led me here. Crap job even thou good schooling, huge student loan, job I dont like or feel appreciated with, a drive to succeed, but quite undisciplined in certain things ...

anways ... I think sometimes it can just click but other times you need to work at it.