When will it stop?

Aries: That is one great idea you came up with! I am one who thinks no gambling addict should ever darken the doorways of any casino ever again, (let alone Vegas), (If one is really serious about quitting) but if you have to go, I appreciate NewSun's suggestions, but yours is the best! By looking up and going to a GA meeting in Vegas, you not only can acquire mental strength and support, but also are privy to the (unique to Vegas) warnings of the indigenous locals there, which can be so eye-opening. Great call! Now if only one would just do it..........

I'm definitely not taking any credit cards to Vegas and going to a meeting sounds like a good idea. I'm staying good on no gambling in the meantime. It's crazy how much better you feel when you aren't sitting in a casino all of the time. I'm exercising and eating better too.

The Vegas trip was a complete disaster for me. I did ok for a couple months after returning. The last couple months have been pretty bad. I just can't get over three weeks or so without gambling. I always get in a good mindset for a couple weeks, but then somehow I'm back at the casino and I undo two or three weeks of good in an hour. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I feel myself slipping back into the addiction hard. I have been at the casino the last three days and I started using my credit cards again, something I hadn't done for months. I feel sick because I know where this ends

Happy hunter, do not let the slip up become a major relapse, you need to stand up and try again. I fell many time, so many scars and pain but it is well worth it, I never thought in a million year, I could stop gambling. It was so much “fun” till it start “killing” me little by little inside.

There is no such thing as gambling a little, it is a vicious cycle, when we lose, we chase and when we win, we want to win more. There are much more to life than wasting our time and money engaging in this self destructive life style.

I read through your earlier posts and there are many helpful advices from many caring people here who had gone through this horrible addiction. It is up to you, you have a choice. Live life or let this addiction control and destroy your well being.

I'm with Rainbowcolor - don't give up !

Get yourself to GA , cut up those credit cards or give them to someone you trust , self exclude at every gambling venue . Relapses , however "small" , will inevitably explode into binges . Please remember that this is a progressive disease . The more you gamble , the worse it gets .

In my first attempt at recovery , I relapsed at the 6 month mark . I convinced myself that after half a year of abstinence I could control my gambling . For a few months , I did . The spiral out of control came rapidly , without warning and with an ferocity that far exceeded anything I had ever experienced before . It was absolutely terrifying .

You know what you have to do HH . This is a fight for you life , make no mistake . You walked away from gambling once , you can walk away from it again - this time for good and without looking back . If you don't do it now , It will destroy you and you know it .

Well, day 1 of not gambling for about the 1,000th time. I just don't know how much more I can take. You fight it off over and over again. You get a few weeks gamble free maybe a month or two. It's constant battling the desire to gamble. You battle it off and you feel good. You let up for one ######6 second and there you are gambling a month's pay in a few minutes.

Basically every negative thing in my life is a result of gambling, yet I still want to gamble more than I want anything else. How messed up is that? When I'm gambling, I'm selfish, I'm a liar, I'm mean, I'm angry, I'm sloppy, I don't show up to work on time, I perform subpar at work, and I hate myself.

When I'm not gambling, I'm selfless, I'm honest, I'm caring, I'm happy, I dress well, I work out, I get to work early, I do a really good job, and I'm proud of myself.

It seems like an easy choice, but I always choose gambling and being broke and miserable.

I am sorry to hear about the relapse HH. We have ALL been there. I can't think of anyone who was an addict and was able to quit on their first try. Is that even possible? Many have had 100s of 'Day 1', but the important thing is to never stop trying and never give up. Only when you give up, do you truly lose. You have had a few stretches of abstinence now, so what work for you? This time around, do what worked for you before What happened this time? It is fine to have these relapses and make mistakes, but we want to learn from them and modify our recovery. A little change here and bit of modification here and I am sure you will get back on that path of abstinence again!

Hey Happyhunter, I can really relate to you, hang in there!

I'm only a couple of years older than you (recently turned 30) and my story is very similar to yours. Started gambling seriously after getting my first decent full time job around 25 and it's be an on and off struggle every since. Can really relate to how gambling really dictates all aspects of your life. Have had wonderful periods of 3-6 months off and then straight back into the depths of the never-ending tunnel.

Forget about your past Day Ones, it's an inevitable process to fail and try and try again when trying to quit this thing. Like one of the posters above mentioned I don't think it's possible to just simply say I'm done and really stop gambling forever on the first go. I'm sure the majority of us problem gamblers have had at least 10 or more "day ones". The main thing is to ACCEPT that you have a life-long disease that needs DAY TO DAY vigilance and resilience to overcome. Know that ANY gambling will always lead you down the same path no matter what. Even if you win it all back, you'll give it all back in no time. It's absolutely inevitable. And I'm sure you KNOW this deep down. Accept that you have a "rational" self and the dark "addict voice" - it's a constant battle, and it will be a lifelong one. If you can make it through 1 month, you can make it to 2 months, to a year etc. The longer you go, the more you can trust yourself. There's always that voice at the back of your mind that is willing to accept failure, that doesn't trust your own self and your own promises to yourself. THAT is the addiction talking, but it's so ingrained into your psyche that you start to believe it. Once you believe you can never overcome it, then it will become a self-fulfiling prophecy. Only when you believe that you CAN overcome it and you CAN ignore that addict side of your mind (or overcome it), then you can start your true recovery. One day at a time. Good luck man.

Thank you guys for the words of advice. I swear I always try to take them to heart. I was recently playing next to an older woman of about 65. We got on the topic of the bigger wins we had and how quickly we gave it back and all it did was fuel the addiction. She calmly stated gambling is a horrible addiction. She looked at me and said I wish I could go back to the day I started gambling and stop myself. She told me you're still young. That was a really eye opening experience for me. I don't want to be still doing this in 30 something years and telling some kid about my 40 years of gambling. I thanked her for talking to me, wished her luck and left the casino. I'm going to remind myself of what she said every day or I will be her one day.

There are moments in our lives when something clicks into place in a way it never did before . It sounds like that might have been one for you .