When will it stop?

My first gamble-free Christmas was one I will never forget . For the first time in so many years , I felt joy again , and peace of mind .

Remember this Christmas MT . You have given yourself the gift of freedom . Never let this addiction take that away .

MTlondon wrote:today I’ve just paid off my final debt (a huge amount) and have enough to buy family some Xmas presents. I will not give any bookie or online account money I have earnt.

Woo hoo!! You paid off your debt. I recall when I finally paid off mine. It was such a burden lifted. Enjoy Christmas with your loved ones. Better to spend your money on your loved ones than giving it to the greedy bookies.

After over 3 years of going deeper in debt and feeling like there was no way out, it feels amazing paying off over 2,000 in debt in less than 2 months.

Glad to see that you have made concrete steps to stop the destructive process.
I hope you will really quit gambling forever. That is really the only way for us.
It's easy to lie to ourselves and subject ourselves to a relapse. Beware of that.

The biggest thing I'm worried about is I'm going to one of my best friends' bachelor parties in Vegas at the end of March.

Well, with 2 months to go, you have plenty of time to prepare yourself mentally.
It might be a good idea to let your friend(s) know that you cannot gamble.
Your entire remaining life will always have temptations and lures. The key is how you respond to them and not use excuses to go back to gambling. If you were really serious about quitting, maybe you wouldn't even go to the Vegas party; but only you can answer that one.

I think you can do it but I don't think it will be easy . I also think it's going to trigger you for a period of time . Prepare yourself for a renewed attack from the urges .

By March , you'll be about 3 months into recovery , am I correct ? That's pretty early days but 58Gambling is right - you need to be upfront with your friends and in no uncertain terms . To me , it sounds like a drinking / gambling trip . Neither of those things will benefit you right now and indeed , the first one fuels the second .

In the case of relapse , what happens in Vegas will not stay in Vegas . It will follow you back home , bigger , stronger and harder to kill . Imagine letting a starved wolf loose at a banquet . The addiction will react in the same way as soon as you unlock the cage and let it out , even if your intention is that " It's just a one-time thing because it's a special occasion " .

Trust me , it won't work out like that .

58gambling wrote:Well, with 2 months to go, you have plenty of time to prepare yourself mentally.
It might be a good idea to let your friend(s) know that you cannot gamble.
Your entire remaining life will always have temptations and lures. The key is how you respond to them and not use excuses to go back to gambling. If you were really serious about quitting, maybe you wouldn't even go to the Vegas party; but only you can answer that one.

I have two friends in my group who are very trustworthy and have offered to hold my money during the trip so I do not gamble it. Part of me thinks you are right about not going, but it's difficult to do that to a lifelong friend. IDK

-- Tue Jan 23, 2018 9:53 pm --

NewSunRising wrote:I think you can do it but I don't think it will be easy . I also think it's going to trigger you for a period of time . Prepare yourself for a renewed attack from the urges .

By March , you'll be about 3 months into recovery , am I correct ? That's pretty early days but 58Gambling is right - you need to be upfront with your friends and in no uncertain terms . To me , it sounds like a drinking / gambling trip . Neither of those things will benefit you right now and indeed , the first one fuels the second .

In the case of relapse , what happens in Vegas will not stay in Vegas . It will follow you back home , bigger , stronger and harder to kill . Imagine letting a starved wolf loose at a banquet . The addiction will react in the same way as soon as you unlock the cage and let it out , even if your intention is that " It's just a one-time thing because it's a special occasion " .

Trust me , it won't work out like that .

You are right. I did have a relapse on January 2nd so if I go to Vegas we would leave on March 26 and I'd be a little under 3 months. I was very upset at myself for gambling on January 2nd, I caught myself shortly after getting there and didn't do any financial damage, but it really upsets me that I even went there.

The biggest thing has been leaving myself with limited money on hand. I've been putting every extra cent to debt. I paid 600 dollars on another credit card today. I'm buying my food as soon as I get paid and that's working well. Just trying to get through each day.

If your friends are on board and understanding , you have a good chance of making it through the trip without gambling . I would research things to do if the others decide they want to gamble . There are shows , restaurants and exhibits that you can check out . Even better if one or more of your friends wants to join you . You can get a massage , walk the strip , see the fountains at the Bellagio , make use of the hotel fitness center .

Here's the worst case scenario - you bring a specific amount of money , relapse and lose it all . That would be bad . But it would be far worse if you brought a credit card or a bank debit card and had access to all of your available funds . My advice is to bring cash only . Knowing that you only have X amount of dollars for X amount of days will really make you think twice about risking any of it .

Don't let the addiction con you into bringing a credit / debit card " for emergencies " . If there truly is an emergency , guaranteed your friends will be there for you and if you tell them point blank not to lend you money to gamble with , you will have covered all your bases .

At 3 months , a lot of the gambling fog has lifted and the reality of how the addiction lies and manipulates us to keep itself fed is much clearer in our minds . Gambling no longer seems like such a good idea or fun thing to do , especially since we are now fully aware that any " win " will only compel us to gamble more and more until everything is gone .

Is it a risk ? Yes , it is .

Is it doable ? I think it could be , with planning and determination .

You can also try to make this Vegas trip a good learning experience and go a GA meeting over there to see what its like. I am sure that the GA meetings there would be quite an eyeopener. I am also going to be in a similar situation in Mid-March where I will be going on a cruise and we will be right beside the casino. I am preparing by bringing no money and always being with someone who can keep an eye on me. I will also try to avoid the area as much as I can. I will also attend all the open meeting on the cruise (they call it the "Friends of Bill W.") and is for AA, NA and GA which I am looking forward to. I have never been to an open meeting and looking forward to see the impact of other addictions.