Relapse after venting through this forum

I would like to tell all the new visitors/members that (unfortunately) you are extremely likely to relapse after venting through this forum. It's almost inevitable. We have all done it (as far as I know). I certainly relapsed several times.
I'm not saying is not a big deal if you relapse. IT IS A BIG DEAL. It does matter. It shows you how hard and insidious is the addiction you have. What I am saying instead is:
DON'T GIVE UP IF YOU RELAPSE AFTER VENTING THROUGH THIS FORUM!

I remember when I discovered it for the first time it was more than venting (although I didn't register immediately). It was a cathartic, crying experience. The stories I read hit me really hard. For the first time I got to realize what was going on with me all this time. I didn't feel alone in my dark place for the first time in my life!
But after two months I forgot. My disease told me I'm cured. I have it under control. I stopped reading the forum and I relapsed. Again and again. It was very bad.
Almost one and a half year later I came back, registered and started posting here. Admitting publicly who I am and what I have done has strong therapeutic effect on me. It also keeps me responsible not only toward myself, but also toward my virtual friends. I read the forum at least 2-3 times a week. Every week ever since. And I will continue doing so forever. Because my disease makes me forget. Your stories help me remember.

If you relapse after venting here you must not be discouraged. It's just your addiction having a hard revenge on you for making the first steps in the right direction. What matters is what you make out of this relapse. You can be a one time poster on this forum and give up the fight or you are going to be a member who doesn't give up the fight (and keeps us updated even occasionally). It is a nasty and hard fight, you often go one step forward and two steps back, but you must keep on fighting. You must go forward one inch per day. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY OUT. It's painful process, but doable.

On this forum you can find heroes who are gamble free for years after countless relapses, enormous pain, damage and suffering (far bigger than mine). You can find heroes who relapsed after years of being gamble free, but in the process they have become so tough, that they just get their $#%^ together and start allover from the beginning.
These members should be your personal example. They are here for you and they are going to be more than happy to help you going until the end of the tunnel.
So stay here and join the fight. United we stand.
Say it out loud - today gamble free I stay!

Thanks GB, for starting this thread. I have indeed relapsed several times after coming onto this forum; afterward, I was too embarrassed to post and admit it. I know it's a lifelong battle with this thing, but at least I know that the urge has lessened and I am less likely to go too far. I think this forum is made up of people in various stages of their recovery. Through my own experience, I suspect sometimes when people seem to disappear for a while from here, they may have relapsed.
Your thread makes it easier to come back and post.

I'm glad you like it 58gambling.
It is mostly intended for the newcomers on this forum, but you made me realize that there are a lot of members who were active for a long period and later disappeared. I hope they have gone out of the gambling addiction so they don't need this forum anymore. Otherwise I hope they will come and join us again.
For example I want to know what are Summerrose, Nuevo_dia, StuckinNV, Gamblingmumnomore and Peacefulcrew doing? I haven't heard anything from them in a long time. If any of you are reading this I just hope you are doing well. Your stories helped me a lot in the past two years, so I wish you all the best.

I think about our past members too , GB . I hope with all my heart that they are Gamble-free and doing well . If that is not so , I would hope that they felt that they could come back here for support .

This forum is not a place where only the successful are welcome . So many of us have been through the pain and shame of relapse . We know what it's like to feel helpless and hopeless , to feel like we will never beat this addiction and get our lives back .

If you are new here ( or even not-so-new ) and struggling , please know this : Relapse isn't good - but it isn't a failure , it isn't a reason to give up . No one is here to judge you . If you fall , we will be here to help you up .

Because we've been there too .

Fantastic thread!

You hit the nail on the head. I myself have had numerous relapses of various amounts since joining this forum (my original account joined around April/May last year I believe).

From viewing almost all of the threads on this forum and various other forums, I can safely say (and this is no exaggeration) that around 95% of members who post regularly will have some form of relapse (often multiple - sometimes less severe, sometimes more devastating). Even the "veterans" who have been GF for a long time will attest to having had relapses in the past. There have been many members that have inspired me and I've learnt a lot from, who have all experienced this as well. These includes members that have gone GF for 1-2 years or more, and still relapsed despite how absolutely resilient and strong they were during that time. Now I am not posting this as a negative thing, like you mentioned, I believe it is just a cold hard reality of this addiction (and really shows how it is a lifelong battle), but with every relapse you will learn something and become stronger. I think it's important for newbies joining the forum to recognise the magnitude of this addiction and realize that reading a few posts and venting a bit after a big loss on here does not mean they are "cured". Staying GF is a lifetime commitment, and should be taken as seriously as looking after your health (because gambling will damage that severely too).

I used to view relapses as a weakness of character, but I realized over time, it is just the nature of this addiction. It takes damn hard work and time to overcome it. But overcoming it will be the single most important thing in a CG's life, if they want to have a life worth living. So we get back up after each relapse, learn from it, and continue committing to a life of no gambling.

It's great that we have members like NSR, buster1969 and yourself on here who show us that we CAN stop for long periods and that we CAN stop on an ongoing basis. The advice and motivation you guys provide is invaluable and the fact that you have been clean for so long and are still regularly posting shows your lifetime commitment to overcoming this addiction, which I know now is critical to living a GF life. Thanks for the motivation and stay GF

Great thread!

I have also relapsed once since joining this forum (April 30th), but the important this is to keep coming back. I look at this forum as one extra barrier between me and gambling and by not visiting every few days, I get one step closer to gambling. I hope those who have taken a hiatus are doing well because complacency and secrecy opens the door to this addiction. It always gets you when you are at your weakest.

Hi GB, I like your post. I posted last week determined to quit gambling for good. I read back a post I wrote around 9 months ago and it scared me reading through my own feelings at the time. I posted again one week ago, I have since relapsed unfortunately. I am now 2 days gamble free. It's not much but I am determined to beat this addiction.

Every time I have an urge I come hear and read more posts. Seems to be working for the moment. I know the next week will be hard but I really want to reach 30 days, it's my first goal.

Today was a good day, no gambling just time with family and friends.

Good luck to you all in beating this disease.

-- Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:19 pm --

Hi GB, I like your post. I posted last week determined to quit gambling for good. I read back a post I wrote around 9 months ago and it scared me reading through my own feelings at the time. I posted again one week ago, I have since relapsed unfortunately. I am now 2 days gamble free. It's not much but I am determined to beat this addiction.

Every time I have an urge I come hear and read more posts. Seems to be working for the moment. I know the next week will be hard but I really want to reach 30 days, it's my first goal.

Today was a good day, no gambling just time with family and friends.

Good luck to you all in beating this disease.

100% me to a tee!

Found this forum, read abit and made a post venting my guilt.
I commited to a 30 GF period and upon achieving this relapsed hard and heavy.

Fast forward to now and I am much more aware of the dangers of relapsing, I read this forum sometimes daily and try as hard as I can to encourage other "New Venters" to remain here actively to give themselves the best chance of avoiding the almost inevitable relapse.

An awesome post that just points out how similar we are in our recovery process!

In reading some of these posts over again, it occurs to me that the message here could be, "it's OK to relapse....." which obviously is not what we should be conveying.....just a weird thought...

It may seem that way , 58 - but it's actually a bit more complicated than that .

Equating relapse with failure can just make people ashamed to come back and admit it happened . Even those who know that we are a supportive and accepting community may feel reluctant to confess that they have slipped back into gambling . It's embarrassing . It feels like weakness .

It is very unusual for someone with an addiction to wake up one day , say " I'm done." and never use / drink / gamble again for the rest of their lives . Relapse is so common in addiction .

We try to send the message that it is not OK to give yourself permission to relapse , but if it happens , please don't feel that you cannot come back here for support and understanding .

I would rather see a member write " I am trying to quit but I keep relapsing. " than " I keep relapsing so I stopped trying to quit ."