expert advice or just chat?

1wiserman wrote:I have read a tremendous amount of these posts and the only time I have seen "controlled gambling" mentioned is when someone say it is NOT a good idea or a way to deal with this addiction.

-- Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:12 pm --

One has to cut the folks posting a little slack. Perhaps on or two have degrees in psychiatry, but the most are simply folks with a gambling problem relating their experiences and looking for ideas that might help them cope with their problem. It is an imperfect world.

Yes, I agree, what I meant was that for example 'controlled gambling' is met with very definite advice ( in that example negative against that idea), which might be too 'strong' if you get my drift. I know we're all trying to help, but advice is sometimes given out as a rule or a law against or for specific ideas.

My take is that advice against "controlled gambling" is given because it is hard to accomplish. I, myself, have tried to do that and found eventually you slip back into the old ways such as being in a casino 12 hours straight, etc. I guess this is similar to not recommending a drug addict to use once in a while or telling an alcoholic that it is ok to drink socially. This forum seems to be mainly comprised of folks having a problem with too much gambling, addictive, or compulsive gambling. People that relapse thought they could control their gambling. Maybe some can, but from what I read very few and all the ones that I have read about that have successfully quit had no luck trying to control it or they would still be playing. If you are not a gambler, you will never understand.
There are a lot of forces at play here other than logic.

I think that the reason that AA GA NA and all similar self help groups exist is because no matter how many experts or specialists you talk to, ultimately there is absolutely nothing like expressing yourself to another person who knows exactly what you are talking about because they too have been through the very same journey. I believe there is a place for all kinds of support and help, but for me listening to others who have experienced the same events symptoms distress and dilemmas is invaluable.

I think hearing from others with similar problems is extremely therapeutic. You're not going to get canned responses from actual addicts, we can give real-world advice.

Totally agree gran/buster - sharing similarities in experiences is very good.

-- Sat Sep 03, 2016 9:12 am --

1wiserman wrote:My take is that advice against "controlled gambling" is given because it is hard to accomplish. I, myself, have tried to do that and found eventually you slip back into the old ways such as being in a casino 12 hours straight, etc. I guess this is similar to not recommending a drug addict to use once in a while or telling an alcoholic that it is ok to drink socially. This forum seems to be mainly comprised of folks having a problem with too much gambling, addictive, or compulsive gambling. People that relapse thought they could control their gambling. Maybe some can, but from what I read very few and all the ones that I have read about that have successfully quit had no luck trying to control it or they would still be playing. If you are not a gambler, you will never understand.
There are a lot of forces at play here other than logic.

There are some very good research articles about using controlled gambling in samples of heavily pathological or problem gamblers. I am not going to say whether I agree or don't agree with controlled gambling, just that in a wider understanding (outside here) it is not always agreed that it can't work. The GA views wouldn't support it I know, but the point is that's only one of the views, and it's useful to be open to debate about all of the possible views (not just one set) IMO.

Agree, betterchange. Have heard of studies of controlled gambling as well as controlled drinking as possible solutions for folks with extreme gambling or drinking problems. Also, will not say whether I agree or disagree. Would be very nice if it actually worked. I wouild truly like to see some documented stories or studies about successful controlled gambling or drinking. That would be very interesting. I do believe there are varying degrees of addiction. Also, obviously will power differs in people. Sorry, am starting to sound like an amateur psychologist. LOL. Your points are well taken.

Think we're all amateur psychologists wiserman, as we've studied ourselves so much!

What I do think in general is that this problem we share, is very complex and doesn't necessarily have simple answers that 'fit all' for sure.

I appreciate all of the GA 'total abstinence' approaches, however there can be negatives with those assumptions too - rebound gambling for example.

I agree that " One size does not fit all ." I know people who , after being addicted , can now control their gambling or drinking . I'm just not one of them .

I proved it by relapsing straight into Hell after 6 months of recovery . I "controlled" my gambling quite well for the first few months . Played with a limit , walked away at a sensible time , never spent more than I could afford . It was a nice illusion for a while , then it slowly started to crumble . Before I knew it , all my old behaviors came roaring back in full force - worse in fact than my original period of addiction .

So , yeah - controlled gambling didn't work for me . If it works for anyone else , more power to 'em .

From the (admittedly limited) amount I know and have read, I think controlled gambling is certainly not an 'easy' approach to use successfully, I think that would be fair to say. It is a more complex approach to the problem than 'abstinence' which is much easier to define in nature. My guess at the main problem in controlled gambling, is that the person may well try to do this alone, without a good idea how they should do so. That brings me slightly back to my earlier point about having some form of expert help, whichever approach someone might want to adopt to their problem gambling.

NewSunRising wrote:I know people who , after being addicted , can now control their gambling...
controlled gambling didn't work for me . If it works for anyone else , more power to 'em .

Without offense and sorry if I'm being critical here, but why are you posting these ideas that gambling can be controlled?
If you're the admin or the moderator of this forum - aren't you supposed to advocate against any possibility of "controlled gambling" whatsoever?!

I read Vitroil's sad story here in the 4th page of the thread about someone who lost over $200,000 as well:
gambling-addiction/topic182379-30.html

He tried so many times to believe his gambling was under control - in the end he completely ruined his life.

I think what you're posting here is not appropriate, at least in my opinion.
[*] Gambling cannot be controlled, period.
[*] If someone spends $10 a week and doesn't care about it - it doesn't mean gambling is controlled by him, it just means he hasn't decided to cross the border into heavy spending but it could happen to him or to anyone!
[*] Again, gambling cannot be controlled ... people who spend low amount on gambling are not in control, it's a myth.
[*] Advocating for people in this forum to believe there is a way to control their gambling goes against the concept of this forum in my opinion.