expert advice or just chat?

This can be a VERY lonely addiction. Especially when I realized I had a MAJOR problem that had consumed my life. Who would understand this illogical crazy destruction at my own hand?

I went to "experts" , professional lic. counselor, even psychiatrist - who DID NOT GET IT. DID NOT ADVISE ME properly, really didn't take it seriously or have any real solutions.

This board gave me SOUND advice. OMG these others who did or were doing what I did. That was a revelation.

I got concrete advise, I was given suggestions, I was guided w/ understanding and care.


Even in addiction -- our disease and recovery will vary.

I agree w/ NSR -- there most likely are "problem" gamblers, who once they recognize their problem, at whatever level, they can walk away and put it down. I hope that some people who drop by GA and don't come back have stopped and really don't need additional help.

THAT is NOT ME. I bargained, tried the "control", relapsed many times etc. I am an addict. I need the support of my GA program. I needed a new structure for my life. Perhaps further into recovery I will better see the false beliefs I hold and be able to change them for a better me.

It isn't a one size fits all process. and we all may be at different phases at different times. that is the beauty of my meetings too!

One of the hardest things was KNOWING there was no "winning" (because I don't stop) and still craving the casino, the escape, and playing with full understanding that I was screwed. That is hell.



I can read the threads and not get upset about people posting about their "systems" or their run of bad luck, or their 2 mo quit to try another bargain with themselves. It's ok. We can't save someone, but reaching out and helping WHEN THEY ARE READY to really see, that is grace.

betterchange wrote:Overall, you seem to trying to make more definite suggestions than anyone else posting here, as others are open to all angles with this, but you want to suggest you have one true view only. That I think is rather ironic when you're questioning the right to present views and evidence...

When it comes to gambling I'm against any view that sees gambling as a hobby, habit, a "friend", something that I can control, or refer to it as leisure, entertainment, way to spend time, or anything along these lines.

You definitely seem to suggest that gambling is not so evil, some people can control it, so we should be open-minded about it, that's what you say...

I said it before and I will say it again - just like I am 100% absolutely against smoking a cigarette, and would never ever try to take one, not even one... for me even one cigarette is a taboo, it's prohibited - because I've seen what it did to other people (incl. my father who passed away directly because of smoking!) -

Similarly, I'm against gambling.

I think you or the admin of this forum (NSR) seem to treat gambling as something that should be taken more lightly whilst it's not. This forum is getting a new horror story every day and globally every hour someone is ruining his/her life because of gambling - your approach seems to mitigate the impact of these stories and/or ignore them by treating gambling in a friendlier manner - that is what I'm against.

Yes, I have a very strict view about it and I don't think many members will disagree about my approach to gambling. I speak what's on my mind, and I like to be straightforward with people, honesty is the best policy.

uskat wrote:This can be a VERY lonely addiction. Especially when I realized I had a MAJOR problem that had consumed my life. Who would understand this illogical crazy destruction at my own hand?

I went to "experts" , professional lic. counselor, even psychiatrist - who DID NOT GET IT. DID NOT ADVISE ME properly, really didn't take it seriously or have any real solutions.

This board gave me SOUND advice. OMG these others who did or were doing what I did. That was a revelation.

I got concrete advise, I was given suggestions, I was guided w/ understanding and care.

That's very sad to hear how the experts have given you nothing useful but at least this forum was somehow changing ... how long have you managed to stay away from gambling so far?

uskat wrote:I agree w/ NSR -- there most likely are "problem" gamblers, who once they recognize their problem, at whatever level, they can walk away and put it down. I hope that some people who drop by GA and don't come back have stopped and really don't need additional help.

THAT is NOT ME. I bargained, tried the "control", relapsed many times etc. I am an addict. I need the support of my GA program. I needed a new structure for my life. Perhaps further into recovery I will better see the false beliefs I hold and be able to change them for a better me.

It isn't a one size fits all process. and we all may be at different phases at different times. that is the beauty of my meetings too!

I hope you don't agree with NSR because of his position in this forum and you do so because you truly believe in what you say - because there is a contradiction between saying "That is not Me", "I tried to control gambling and it never worked" - and then you still believe it can be controlled.

You should believe in what you yourself have experienced and/or if you know a person very well and he/she told you how things go for him/her ... but if you don't know anyone who "controls" his/her gambling - then please don't take this evil ideology as granted ...

There is nothing wrong with being against gambling ... the more you justify it - then the harder it becomes to quit, at least for me anyway.

I appreciate that no one has all the answers.

I appreciate that for me, I am a gambling addict and have proven thru my own experience my own "gig is up". I have an addiction that I have to treat very seriously -- for me, it is life an death.

If i had an addiction to alcohol i don't think I'd be on the prohibition side. I'd need to be sober and work to stay that way but I don't feel it should cross over the liberty of my non alcoholic friends to never have a drink.

Yes gambling has, is and will destroy lives. Perhaps you can use your energy and view to shut down the industry. Perhaps society will come around to this position, but as we all knows money rules and even our governments are addicted to the income.

I do think an open mind, understanding not everyone is like me, and willingness to help and show recovery to someone suffering the same way I did helps me w/ my own recovery and staying gamble free.

uskat wrote:I appreciate that no one has all the answers.

I appreciate that for me, I am a gambling addict and have proven thru my own experience my own "gig is up". I have an addiction that I have to treat very seriously -- for me, it is life an death.

If i had an addiction to alcohol i don't think I'd be on the prohibition side. I'd need to be sober and work to stay that way but I don't feel it should cross over the liberty of my non alcoholic friends to never have a drink.

Yes gambling has, is and will destroy lives. Perhaps you can use your energy and view to shut down the industry. Perhaps society will come around to this position, but as we all knows money rules and even our governments are addicted to the income.

I do think an open mind, understanding not everyone is like me, and willingness to help and show recovery to someone suffering the same way I did helps me w/ my own recovery and staying gamble free.

I worked in the gambling industry, I've met casino owners, big website owners and many others who run what we refer to as the gambling establishment.

I don't believe this industry can be shut down, definitely not just like that ... it exists just like the tobacco industry still exists.

Alcohol is not a good example for moderation because Alcohol is something physical you drink ... the symptoms with Alcohol are not invisible like with gambling.

But no need take it far ... can I ask you if you personally know anyone who managed to "control" his/her gambling? If not ... why do you believe it's possible? Why or what's the reason for that?

StoppedOnJune2016 wrote:
You definitely seem to suggest that gambling is not so evil, some people can control it, so we should be open-minded about it, that's what you say...

I said it before and I will say it again - just like I am 100% absolutely against smoking a cigarette, and would never ever try to take one, not even one... for me even one cigarette is a taboo, it's prohibited - because I've seen what it did to other people (incl. my father who passed away directly because of smoking!) -

Similarly, I'm against gambling.

I think you or the admin of this forum (NSR) seem to treat gambling as something that should be taken more lightly whilst it's not. This forum is getting a new horror story every day and globally every hour someone is ruining his/her life because of gambling - your approach seems to mitigate the impact of these stories and/or ignore them by treating gambling in a friendlier manner - that is what I'm against.

Hi SOJ,

A couple of points:

It's not taking something lightly to suggest that some can be treated under very highly specialised and controlled programs of treatment. It's a very serious undertaking I can assure you.

I've already said this before (in this post), but please read this: I don't suggest anyone here just goes off and starts gambling again, whether they think they can be controlled or not.

Don't confuse the two ideas being mentioned - you have implied that people should just go and gamble in a controlled manner, that's not what I'm discussing. I'm discussing a form of treatment. I hope you can understand the difference.

betterchange wrote:

StoppedOnJune2016 wrote:
You definitely seem to suggest that gambling is not so evil, some people can control it, so we should be open-minded about it, that's what you say...

I said it before and I will say it again - just like I am 100% absolutely against smoking a cigarette, and would never ever try to take one, not even one... for me even one cigarette is a taboo, it's prohibited - because I've seen what it did to other people (incl. my father who passed away directly because of smoking!) -

Similarly, I'm against gambling.

I think you or the admin of this forum (NSR) seem to treat gambling as something that should be taken more lightly whilst it's not. This forum is getting a new horror story every day and globally every hour someone is ruining his/her life because of gambling - your approach seems to mitigate the impact of these stories and/or ignore them by treating gambling in a friendlier manner - that is what I'm against.

Hi SOJ,

A couple of points:

It's not taking something lightly to suggest that some can be treated under very highly specialised and controlled programs of treatment. It's a very serious undertaking I can assure you.

I've already said this before (in this post), but please read this: I don't suggest anyone here just goes off and starts gambling again, whether they think they can be controlled or not.

Don't confuse the two ideas being mentioned - you have implied there's a suggestion people should just go and gamble in a controlled manner, that's not what I'm discussing. I'm discussing a form of treatment. I hope you can understand the difference.

betterchange wrote:
I've already said this before (in this post), but please read this: I don't suggest anyone here just goes off and starts gambling again, whether they think they can be controlled or not.

Don't confuse the two ideas being mentioned - you have implied there's a suggestion people should just go and gamble in a controlled manner, that's not what I'm discussing. I'm discussing a form of treatment. I hope you can understand the difference.

I understand what you say - but if that's what you imply - would you tell a smoker to keep on smoking as form of treatment? Try to take just 1 cigarette a day and then things will be fine?

How can gambling itself be a form of treatment for an addict? It's just absolutely an absurd.

When NSR said here some people can gamble responsibly or "gamble with control" I got upset because such a statement is (a) false (b) misleading addicts that do need a proper treatment.

SOJ, My interpretation of what NSR meant was is that not everyone is an addict and many do gamble responsibly. I think that you may view everyone that gambles as an addicted or problem gambler. That is a flawed perspective.

StoppedOnJune2016 wrote:
I understand what you say - but if that's what you imply - would you tell a smoker to keep on smoking as form of treatment? Try to take just 1 cigarette a day and then things will be fine?

How can gambling itself be a form of treatment for an addict? It's just absolutely an absurd.

When NSR said here some people can gamble responsibly or "gamble with control" I got upset because such a statement is (a) false (b) misleading addicts that do need a proper treatment.

As you've mentioned the example a few times now, it's interesting the comparison with smoking you suggest.
The problem in that comparison is that everyone who smokes (even once) is doing something that harms them. In comparison not everyone who has a bet is harming themselves, or have a problem (at least not a significant one). So, it's not an easy comparison to use IMO.

1wiserman wrote:SOJ, My interpretation of what NSR meant was is that not everyone is an addict and many do gamble responsibly. I think that you may view everyone that gambles as an addicted or problem gambler. That is a flawed perspective.

Not every smoker kills himself from smoking and some people do smoke "in control" around 1 cigarette per day or even per week and don't feel the need to smoke more than that.

It doesn't make the activity okay.

Gambling by itself, the whole 100% part of gambling is flawed - gambling is about taking money from someone else - if you don't see it as a bad thing then you definitely have a flawed perspective.