I'm doomed, aren't I?

To the person above who said gambling is a high, like a drug addict.... I know. I was watching a documentary on gambling one day and they said " being a gambling addict is WORSE than someone who is addicted to any hard core drug....because....with drug addicts, they know what that next high will feel like, they know what to expect.....with a gambler, they never know what that next spin will bring" that's scary. Very scary to me. I've always been one to avoid or ignore fears. I run from them. Maybe that's why I won't allow all I know is right about gambling to absorb. Right, meaning, not doing it.
To the other poster..I can't ban myself...at my casino they let you 2x's the 3rd that's it....you're banned forever, there's no waiting a year to go back. I'm just not ready to do that yet.
I went back to the casino, but for the first time not to play....I decided to ban all of my credit cards, debit card and check book. Everything. You fill out a form and all above things will not work. I never knew this was an option until recently....for me, if I'm in the casino losing, in the back of my head I think, well, I'll just write a check, or I'll go to the ATM.... If I have to leave the casino, I never go to the bank or a ATM to go back. Once I'm out the door, I'm out and I'm fine. Well, till the next time. But, I'm really hoping this banning my resources will help me.
Also, talking about hobbies, I use to have a lot of them... But, gambling always seems to win. I have to start those up again, and like the one poster said....FOCUS......Although sometimes the more I think about not gambling, the urge will start....sometimes just not thinking about it at all, is best.
And I appreciate what the other said too.... Don't think of the past. That's so hard for me to do. I think of the past constantly. So thank you for that advice. I NEED to FOCUS for today, not yesterday.
Today, I'm 4 days gamble free. I will not gamble today.

Good luck katie,

I admire your honesty and don't feel ashamed heading back to the casino, you knew you was making the wrong decision heading back there but your foot stayed on the pedal. It's hapeened to the best of us.

I think you know you can make strides in beating this and you are making progress already, come to this forum everyday for support. And when you have those urges try to remember to come to this site or think of a distration or hobbie. Maybe start another post giving it a post "day 1" and hope to add days, months and then years on it -imagine how amazing that would feel and how proud you would feel if your 3 years free and a lot richer?!
good luck, I hope everything works out for you.

A good point which helps me....

.....I know how much I have lost with gambling over the years, but even if I start again or make a small deposit I know I will never win my money back far far from it, so I now ask myself ..........."WHATS THE POINT??"

The answer, "there is no point".

If you gamble You will just lose your streak of no days gambled, if you win it's worse because your hooked again and if you lose you may just gamble and gambLe till everything is gone. It's the truth in my opinion.
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Ignore my day 1 comment, your on day 5 if you have got through today also