Gambling fool to internet poker, why cant I stop? Day one...

Great to hear from you Steven! NSR is right, it's not bragging it's setting an example. None of us are special and when one of us succeeds it reaffirms that a gambling-free life is always a better life and any of us can attain it. I'm just about three months away from my four year anniversary and when I hit my fifth I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to treat myself with (I've developed a bit of a taste for luxury watches).

We all have different things we enjoy and showing others that doing them or buying them is attainable when we quit gambling is a big help. Part of what motivated me was the fact that the guys in my GA room with years of success were all very well off. I'd welcome any stories about how much better your life is. It shows us that more and more people are WINNING their battle. Posting more may help you as well because it will remind you how far you've come. When I quit I put $5 away every day and after my 1,000th day I bought a watch I always wanted. Now, literally every time I look to see what time it is I'm reminded of what I've accomplished and that I never, never want to go back.

Hey All,

I hate to admit it but since my last post on here (few weeks ago) thinking it was ok, 'I am past the addiction now' I gambled playing poker again. Those gamble free years completed down the pan and I am £5,000.00 lighter.

I thought because I was past the hard times its now ok, I found myself going into the same bad habits as before and last night (in a way) I wanted to lose so I can look to quit again and lost most of it, it got hold of me. Like who does that after so long? I have got to be absolutely mad.

I have let myself down and I am embarrassed to ask a friend to bail me out, which he did. Yesterday, after meeting my bank manager (as doing extra work to the house) got accepted for £68,000 remortgage to complete the work required and should come through within the next month. The bank gives the money before the work is completed which feels really dangerous, no way do I trust myself with that money so I will give the dosh to a very close friend for safe keeping so when I am invoiced I can bill the builders and use the money wisely.

Since this morning (apart from feeling really stupid and sick gambling till 5am) I have taken note of the date - '7th of September 2017, Day One'. I have contacted my I.T department at work and they have downloaded this K9 software I have seen recommended on my work laptop and I already have self excluded myself from this new gambling site for the max of 5 years. I know what I need to do and I will get my life back on track. Key is to focus on my work and make money that way, cant lose that way.

By 7th of September 2022 (five years from now) my goal is try to be mortgage free with zero gambling. I know I can do it as a lot of good has come from the past few years when feeling more free from gambling.

Disappointing I did it and I hate admitting it as this post felt good to go back too, now I have put a massive black mark against me.

Keeping the name to the 'Gamblingfool' not 'exgamblingfool'. In five years from now I will try and get that title from now.

I am sorry to share this $#%^ news to you and myself but I have decided to come back on this site more often. I feel I can do it, I have set myself a 5 year goal and I don't want to play poker in all that time. I hope I can come to the post and say 'I did it' once more.

The..
...Gamblingfool

I am sorry to hear about the recent relapse, but we need to pick ourselves up and get back to recovery. Don't let this relapse be in vain and figure out what caused you to back to the gambling (the illogical thoughts). After that, be aware of those illogical thoughts and patch up the hole in your recovery. Our recovery is often not perfect at the start (I know mine wasn't) and we have to learn and modification along the way. You have taken some great steps and put in extra barriers and hopefully we never fall for the same trap that we did before.

I'm glad you came back here GamblingFool . Relapse can happen at any time , to any of us . It's gut-wrenching when it does , but moving on and recommitting to recovery is our only option .

It's pretty eye-opening to think about what the addiction promises us versus what actually happens to us after we fall for the lies . We're left in disbelief that we could have fallen for that con again .

The good news is this : Your GF time has not been wasted or erased or made meaningless . The number of days without gambling is a great motivator but battling addiction isn't always as black or white as " If you don't gamble , you're a success . If you do gamble , you're a failure ."

It is a setback and there are valuable things to learn from it . It this case , it hammered home the fact that your gambling addiction will always be waiting for it's chance to take over again.

Forgive yourself and return to the life you fought for . It is yours to reclaim .