Gambling fool to internet poker, why cant I stop? Day one...

Stopping at 33 will be more of a life-changer than you will ever realize. I'm 53, If I only had the $'s from the last 20 yrs.back.
Free software blocker (I use k9), an hourly pop-up on computer from task manager, and this forum have all been great Helps, not to mention bills paid on time for four months now.
132 Days of living a free life today.
Stay strong !
No, you won't suddenly be rich, or without problems, but a REALLY big mental weight will be lifted from your shoulders !

I am so close to a year now, and I think very hard about my very first post and the confusion / desperation in myself.

I am soooo glad I have listened to you guys.

So close now and keeping strong turning my life around....I haven't been back on this site for months but come on you!!!

Congratulations on your upcoming milestone! I hope I can get there someday as everyday is a struggle, but I'm determined to beat this illness!

Well done Gamblingfool !

One year is an incredible milestone . It is inspiring to see the inner strength you have found and to see the rewards from your determination to rid yourself of this parasite of an addiction .

I will celebrate with you on your Day 365 , and you are welcome to join me on mine - Dec. 31 , 2015 .

To me , one year is a beginning - solid proof that we have the power to decide what we will allow in our lives and the knowledge that we can overcome our destructive impulses .

It is the feeling of being out of danger , while remaining aware that the danger still exists . It is the comfort of knowing that we can built a solid wall between us and the edge of the abyss .

Your victory is a motivation for all of us !

Congrats for you milestone!
Keep up the good work and never forget to keep your guard up.

Hello All,

Thank you again for your positivity and kind remarks and I am sorry for not replying sooner. I have meaning to put an update on here for a while now.

Yesterday, I was speaking to my Sister In Law and had a bit of a heart to heart moment and a good chat. Not sure why but I decided to tell her what has been going on in my life the past 18 months and even read out my whole post which in now over 13 months old, I haven't read that out to anybody. Though she did find it quite shocking and had no idea to the extent in which I was so hooked and desperately in trouble she was proud that I could face this openly, tackle it and overcome my recent temptations.

None of my friends or family knew the true extent of my problem and even the past 12 months I have kept it to myself a lot. Not saying that’s how people should react with similar issues as I am sure having the support is needed / required but I guess each individual deals with certain situations differently.

After reading my post on the 2nd of October 2014 I still find it a very hard read but at the same time I use this for a positive reminder of where I was and where I am now. If you thinking of trying to stop I recommend this for your own sanity and sake. I want to avoid this in my life forever and still have those aspirations to have a family and for being secure, not just to myself but have that trust you need to raise kids without risking your hard made money from work. I do read other posts on this forum and I take good comfort when I had my issues. I hope that if someone has read my post they also can see that if tackled in the right manner it can be beaten day by day, month by month and then hit your year gamble free

When I think about this from there to now the big reason why so much good has come from the past 12 months is because I have focused what is important, trying to get that mortgage, how do I get that mortgage? Put the focus on with work and not playing cards! Every time I gambled I was never going to sustain a healthy bank balance with crazy poker play online. So I have worked hard with my job and I have now got £45,000 (and growing) in my bank account from signing some sexy contracts and being sensible while saving. During this time I had treated myself to holidays an upgrade of car etc.

Now I am not saying this as to show off, this post has been brutally honest from the start. As I admit I was deeply ashamed and didn’t know what to do but I don’t wake up drenched in sweat with fear, I no longer am lying to people I care about. My addiction took hold of me and constantly asking myself why? I honestly see the light now, it does sound so dramatic but I know that if I keep doing what I am doing (and even though the girlfriend didn't work out by me telling her) I can make my life happen independently and have the core strength to fight every hard corner now.

I am past the worst of it but I know I will not take it for granted and that urge I am sure will come across from time to time. That’s when I will come back here and in a way go back to basics and remind myself.

Now I am over 13 months through with zero gambling and now I am not broke to the very last penny. I now am looking at properties to buy and this is within a 12 month swing. I never thought I would be sitting here saying this and yeah I am proud of myself, and I should be. This very laptop I am typing on now is the same device I used for online poker and those adverts on the TV will always be there but I have stopped my excuses. I just put two fingers up at the TV and there is no point! If you win you will play again and eventually lose that lot.....and for what?!

If I break my gamble free streak I will still post it on here but I hope I will never come to that. I don’t think I will be, I wont take this free zone for granted.

I said to my sister in law yesterday that in a way this website, and the people on here have helped me so much so really from my heart I do thank you.

The kindest regards and good luck to you

The gamblingfool

(though I do feel I can stop calling myself that as it was to put myself down and again to remind me of what I have done).

Amazing story! I am an attorney in the United States with two kids and one of my children is a special needs child, along with two step-kids that live on and off with us. I am the sole support for my family. I always felt entitled to gamble (poker, sports, horses, stocks) because this was my "enjoyment", "escape", "hobby" whatever rationalized name I gave to it. In the meantime, this family was deprived of a stress free, consistent, and wise father, along with certain things like vacations and other material items. I lost a lot of time and energy to gambling, aside from the money. The time never comes back. Now, I spend my extra time coaching, teaching and just being there for the kids. There is still an enormous amount of financial damage to repair and right this ship.

I guess my point is that I am 51 years old and do not understand why it took me so long to come to certain realizations and truths about my gambling. How I wish I came to these truths at your age! You are an intelligent young man.

<big>I am past the worst of it but I know I will not take it for granted and that urge I am sure will come across from time to time. That’s when I will come back here and in a way go back to basics and remind myself.

Now I am over 13 months through with zero gambling and now I am not broke to the very last penny.

Congrats on 13 months and for turning things around, that is an amazing accomplishment! I think we all need to remember not to take it for granted and not to let our guard down, as it would be so easy to fall back into that hole.

I would bet though, that you feel like a different person now.

Hello All,

It has been quite some time since my last post on here but thought I should give a little update of where I am since my original post in 2014. Wow, time does move so fassssst!

I did manage to stop all gambling for 2 years solid (although I did have a little blip after a party on mad evening). However, when I did I then re-read my original post and thankfully never got myself into trouble like before and stopped quickly. Just shows you shouldn't take your eye of it as it’s out there deep down to haunt you.

During the 2 years gamble free I was able to save up a significant amount for a deposit for my first home and I was accepted! From having zero money (as I was losing it on online poker) I am now sitting on my new sofa, paused the TV in a 5 bed detached house with a garden so my little boy can kick a ball about. I moved in late last year basically from renting a double bedroom in 2014 to this. I worked hard, kept a clean bank account (no gambling showing / no debts) built up my credit score for the application and I do feel like I turned my life around. Thank you for your support x

I am not bragging and hope it doesn't come across like that, I hope this can inspire others out there when hitting rock bottom as I know exactly how it feels and I haven't forgotten. When posting this I was brutal to myself but in the long run honestly is the best policy as they say. This website / people posts on here with similar stories was the catalyst to my survival. I strongly recommend if you’re going through the same problems write a post and explain what has happened, there are people on here who can help.....they massively helped me.

If the original posters see this message after all this time I hope you are all going well and are happy.

All the best.

From

Gamblingfool (but think I can now say).......

.....from

......Steven

Well done Steven .

I love updates like this ( and no , it doesn't sound like bragging ) . They serve to inspire and motivate our members who may be struggling or can't see the forest for the trees . You are living proof that there is life after gambling and hope for all of us who make the effort to fight back against this addiction .

Thanks for checking in , and you are welcome here any time . PM me if you would like to change your username to EXgamblingfool .

I would be my pleasure to do it .