Gambling fool to internet poker, why cant I stop? Day one...

dude, never, ever go back. In time, you will forget the pain it caused you and the heart ache. Don't come back ever again for even one small bet thinking its about fun or you will be able to control it. You won't. I had over a year off and came back to it and bar 3 months off have been gambling again for almost 2 years. What a waste of time and money. I'm stopping again for good. By not gambling, you will save tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars as well as stress and being unhappy. You're doing so well, keep it up and never give back in to the devils drug.

Thanks very much for your post.

Coming on this site reading mine, and others in similar situations reminds me of the pain it had brought me. I never want to go there.

Today is day 40 and I already see massive improvements in myself.

When I originally posted this I mentioned I wasn't sure if to play just poker at the casino and never online but after advise from people on here I have decided poker is now over. I can't control the online bankroll that was the main issue when it's just a number sitting in front of your face on the laptop. My aim is to stop all forms of gambling (apart from one 2 quid lottery ticket for when it's over 100 million). That's as fair as it's goes for me!

Life goes on though and I feel good

So good to hear! Well done! Life does feel good without gambling doesn't it? It's like being born again. Back to your old self. When one gambles, it's like being possessed. Yes I know what you mean with no money management and it just being a number, although even cold hard cash never stopped me from unloading on a game.

Keep it up! Never trade your life away for that crap. Fight for your life! Because you deserve it!

So heres a bit of positivity looking back at it....

I went to a late show at the cinema Sunday night to watch the new film 'Fury' which is a decent film. However, opposite to the Cineworld there is my old fav. casino the Redevous flashing a big poster with adverts for poker tournaments inside.

Before going to the cinema I was really hungry and on the same complex to the right of the casino I decided to get a Mcdonalds and munched that quickly before the movie. Anyway, it was only until my second or third bite of this delicious burger that I looked up and noticed the casino, I thought for a moment and I was just happy that with the time already gone I had no urge or intentions of popping in. I hadn't even really noticed it until I physically looked up at it (as it was directly infront of me!).

This is the very same casino I used to play a lot of poker up until the very early hours of the morning, not anymore

I even saw the same guy who played there every night while sitting in my car munching on the chips this time, I didnt say anything to him and again had no intentions to. I just felt a bit sorry for him to be honest that he was doing the same thing and he was always more regular player / gambler than me.

After the movie had finished I saw the casino again as it was directly infront of me (just 15 metres away). Again no intentions, walked to my car and drove home.

I have gone to this complex maybe 3-4 times since stopped and havent gone in, and I am sure I wont.

Yes!

DAY 80!!!

Feeling good, merry christmas!!

gamblingfool wrote:DAY 80!!!

Feeling good, merry christmas!!

Fantastic! Truly a gift to yourself, giving up gambling. It's amazing what is gained when we stop.

Glad to hear things are going well for your not gambling. Staying true to your conviction to save your money and not gamble during a rough spot such as your split with girlfriend shows how committed you are to keeping yourself Happy and gamble free. I, like everyone who visits the forum, want to see success stories posted like yours. I read posts nearly every day, the encouragement from success stories realy helps.
Way to go ! stay strong and keep building your funds in your real bank account.

What is the total amount you lost. Looks like it is a small amount when compared to the one I lost. I lost 15000 dollars.

Ohh my god.. these are all my savings and amount from my credit cards and credit of line.

Life sucks after loosing this amount. Initially I was up by 2000 then I thought ok lets go to Las vegas and enjoy the days over there.

But I lost everything on the day I won the money and haven't gone anywhere just sitting at home from past 1 month. This period for me is too horrible. Not able to speak confidently to any one. Loosing all the concentration at work.

Family and friends hates me. I hate myself. what else a sucking life is required other than this.

I am not able to buy anything for my kid who is 8 months old. See the issues I am facing in this world. No one is helping me financially. My life was really sucked and couldn't even dare to die because of my child. I don't want to leave her alone in this world.

Awesome,80 days is awesome ,

Lifesucks,its very hard but youve got to let go ,the amount in the scheme of things isnt the issue ,youve really got to forgive yourself and move on,its much easier in a positive frame of mind than reminding yourself all the time of what you lost.

Im not being harsh believe what i say is true,put it behind you and use all your energies to focus on beating this addiction.

best wishes stay strong

Hi Lifesucks,

Wanted to reply earlier to you but I have been a little snowed under of late with Christmas.

I'm sorry to hear about your pain. But to answer your question In 2014 you can more like double that number just over a few days plus all those other years, it still makes me feel a bit sick thinking about my losses to be frank. If I try to even add the numbers up it really scares me that I could be so stupid but I don't want to know, there is no point, the line has to be drawn, the pain has been bled but a new start has to begin somewhere.

To be honest over the last couple days I was worried as I had those little urges in the back of my mind. I was thinking 'I know at the end of this month I am going to get a nice salary' and I then thought 'man, if only I could quadruple it I could be looking at a deposit for a house straight away after going broke 3 months ago'. It didn't take me long to think that I am crazy and that's when I came back on this forum and saw your post. For me to think or have these urges still disappoints me that I have these thoughts, even after being dry from gambling for a while now. I think I should find a close friend or family member and actually give them the chunk of cash as I need to save rather than the gambling demon smile at me when I check the bank balance, if there is a lot in there that's when I am tempted like last year. I'm 33 going on 40, i'm not in my 20's anymore so its more important than ever to sort my life out and learn from past stupid mistakes.

Lifesuck, I do know how you feel and I hope with hearing other peoples troubles and fights with gambling you do realise your not the only one. All I can say after my experience of stopping that my life is generally a lot better, yeah I have had those thoughts and I have tried to keep my posts as honest as possible but I realise ultimately its only myself who can control this. Sure, this forum has helped me a lot also but you know what I mean. I know if I play (sorry not play, gamble!) and use this very same laptop for poker I will probably play for days, quietly, not sleeping much, eating badly, not working, money swinging massively and more than likely I will end up complete broke again. Note to self - don't do it!

Try not to stay in your home all the time, try to find new things which will inspire you a bit and hopefully build that confidence of yours, surely seeing your little girl will take your mind of things?? It sounds an old cliché 'but over time it will get better'.

Don't beat yourself up, I have an 8 year old son (which I see each weekend) but I can tell you when I was gambling all those thousands away over the years I was completely blinded and wasn't thinking about anyone at the time. Even though I love him with all my heart, during those times I turned into a selfish warped pric* who only cared about the next hand or how I can beat my opponent, that's it. But even saying that it still however doesn't mean you don't love or care about that particularly person. I think gambling is an illness in some form. Mentally when i'm in that gambling frenzy i'm not really myself.

Gambling led onto forms of depression for me also, not massively as usually I'm a confident guy but it comes hand in hand I think.

Congrats on your little baby girl, money isn't everything mate, to her all she cares about is having the best people around her and you can do that.

I hope it works out for you.

Best regards
Gamblingfool