I need to desperately stop gambling.

I always gambled without any issue until about maybe 3-4 years ago when I had a great year at various casinos. I couldn't lose and now I'm losing each and every time I enter a casino. I am aware that I'll never get ahead what I have lost in $ but I don't even care. I'm addicted to the game. The drive to the casino, the suites, the comp and "free" play game, the awesome food, winning and losing. Yeah I make some foolish and stupid decisions that is just mind boggling. This month alone I lost over 27,000 maybe more who knows. I have two beautiful smart children that need their father but I'm in some casino for days on end. I have a good girlfriend who I leave alone at home watching our daughter. My other child I leave with his grandmother. When I am with them I'm constantly thinking about gambling. I love being a father but something in my soul is lost and broken. I have a all these good things and I go to the casino alone so I can play longer without people bothering me about going home. Yeah very sad.
I have stole money to gamble, Bounced checks, managed to do these ATM tricks that overdraws your account, have family wire me funds to gamble. Knowing all along its not going to matter if I win, I just want to play at that particular time. Its the constant rush of playing, the escape from the every day routine of life. I was also a heavy drug addict in the past. I stopped doing drugs and the gambling just took its place. Well I do take adderall to stay awake for days on end. When I'm in my zone and winning or losing I dont eat or sleep which is very unhealthy but I don't seem to care.
I don't really care for meetings cause the people make me mad. If I hear "Work the program" one more time I'm going to throw up. I also dont like talking to strangers about my problems that just isnt me. I need a solution to this problem I have or I'm going lose the most important people in my life and I can't let that happen. Do I want to stop gambling, yes right now I do but I have been down this long dark road before. In a couple days I'll get the urge and this mess will start all over again. I wish it would just stop and I could just live.

I can relate to the feeling of wanting to stop now, but in a few days the story will change. I went through that for a full year before I finally stopped.

I think that it is possible to stop without meetings - I've done it. But the reason I did it without meetings is not an aversion to them - it is because there was only one meeting a week in my area and I didn't really gel with the group (gambling is relatively new in my state). But I did have the option of self-exclusion and I did it. Thank God, it worked.

I have to tell you though, I did reach the point where I would have done ANYTHING to quit. My desire to stop finally reached a point where I would have walked on hot coals if that is what it took. When your desire to quit eclipses your discomfort with the solutions at your disposal, you'll find success.

Can you self-exclude? If so, do it now while your resolve is high. It will give you some time to clear your head. Until you get a handle on your addiction, place as many roadblocks as you can in your path to the casino. Limit your access to cash, call your credit card company and restrict your access to cash advances, do everything and anything you can think of to delay that trip to the casino.

Posting on this forum really helped me in the beginning. Take care.

mouse14 wrote:I can relate to the feeling of wanting to stop now, but in a few days the story will change. I went through that for a full year before I finally stopped.

Couldn't have said it better - several folks, including myself, begin posting or coming back to the forum right after a big loss. You never ever hear the stories from a compulsive gambler when they win. I was on my path to quitting for a year as well and during that year, I tried controlled gambling where I hit several jackpots totaling about $14,000 in a 3 month period. It was the worse thing to happen to me. Those comps and free food aren't free! They are costing you freaking $27,000 a month! Open your eyes. I had to come to the realization that I was going to break up with the casino life - no more fun, no more meals there, no more shows or whatever. I can actually get better meals elsewhere. And I learned from a few GA members that have to work in those dumps (God bless them) that some of the casinos have ways in the the restaurants/shopping where you don't go near casino. So this is an option if I want to pursue it later down the road. I am only at day 34.

Don't wait, get help now and truly make the commitment to yourself to stop. It took me almost a year.