Why does everyone assume you have to hit rock bottom ...

Yeah, you seem to define rock bottom as a specific state of mind.

Once i'd gambled my money away for petrol to get into work for the rest of the month, that felt like rock bottom for me.
Scrabbling about the interrnet trying to find pay day lenders as i'd used 3 and new ones would only give me an extra £100. That was my rock bottom - it couldn't have got any worse persoanlly.

I just wish someone could have grabbed me at the £500 debt mark, and said look, 'you are not getting this £500 back gambling, it'll just times by 14'

Maybe i'd of not listened, may i would, who knows.

But i gambled myself until i physcially didn't have / couldn't have money to live my normal live. (go for a nice meal, put petrol in my car, go for a pint)

It's interesting, i used to go to the bookmakers with my friends, we'd joke about the G/A leafets and give them to eachother as a 'joking gesture' that we have problems, when in reality none of us had debt, just liked a fun small weekend gamble.

Then 1 year later - i was £7k in debt - no one could have stopped me though.

I think for me rock bottom would be gambling with money I would use
for the necessities of life or touching my savings to gamble. While I have
not done either, I know if I keep losing $20 here and $100 there... many times
per year, I WILL end up at my rock bottom.

I was actually in a Focus Group for gamblers run by the government in spring,
and to my surprise, I was the only one out of 10 who kept track of how
much they were losing. Many said they don't want to even KNOW how much
they were losing. Many other things I learned there surprised me and helped
wake me up as to how this addiction progresses.

I've been doing well. No temptations recently. Thanks for all the advice and support on here.
We can learn and draw strength from each other.

I know this is an older posting, but it's really fascinated me - because I've been asking myself about the idea of 'rock bottom' a lot recently.

My history:

Gambled when younger (only once encouraged by my father, and that was enough to start).

Used to gamble with a friend over Pool games - lost reguarly, and even chased when I was 16.

Moved up to more bookie gambling as I got to 17-18, horses football mostly.

University time, I played horses a lot, lost most of my disposable income and my overdraft at the bank.

All of the above though, I never had credit cards - then I got those around 26 years old (worst move ever).

Gambling went up and down for a while, not using credit too much for a long time (couple of years) - I even wrote betting software that gave me a lengthy time in profit (about year and half).

Not sure what went wrong after that....but it did, bigtime. Losses started to build, I used credit much much more, my betting got more random and larger.

Got so bad, my partner bailed me by organising a loan to pay my debts (which I am just about to finish paying off now).

That loan was years back (about 7), and I now have more debt than the loan was worth in credit cards. That kind of feels like a sort of rock bottom, but I know it is not, because I still always reserve enough to pay all of my bills each month, and will not touch that money ever.

Long story short, I feel that despite my idiotic gambling over the years, I still avoid a true 'rock-bottom', but maybe only just.....

I don't know that I ever hit "rock bottom" . I have lied to friends and family , maxed out my credit cards , taken bank loans out to pay rent and get food . There were times when I wept because I was so weak and out of control , other times I sunk into depression and didn't leave my house for days at a time .

Still , as soon as I got my hands on some cash , I gambled again .

I only stopped when I made the decision to quit . In the past , I begged , pleaded , prayed , hoped and promised myself that I would stop . None of that worked . Committing to that decision was my first step in taking back control - a declaration of war , so to speak .

I think that some gambling addicts may need to hit their personal rock bottom to finally bring them to the decision to fight back , but I like to tell them " It's not mandatory ".

NewSunRising wrote:I don't know that I ever hit "rock bottom" . I have lied to friends and family , maxed out my credit cards , taken bank loans out to pay rent and get food . There were times when I wept because I was so weak and out of control , other times I sunk into depression and didn't leave my house for days at a time .

Still , as soon as I got my hands on some cash , I gambled again .

I only stopped when I made the decision to quit . In the past , I begged , pleaded , prayed , hoped and promised myself that I would stop . None of that worked . Committing to that decision was my first step in taking back control - a declaration of war , so to speak .

I think that some gambling addicts may need to hit their personal rock bottom to finally bring them to the decision to fight back , but I like to tell them " It's not mandatory ".

All those things you describe, I've had similar - I even had to reduce payments to my credit card companies because it was too much (that felt like almost rock bottom because I felt I could go bankrupt before that). I think bankruptcy would have been 'it' for me - because then I may have lost my house and family - that would be rock bottom for me.

I don't agree with the OP's statement that there is no support until one hits "rock bottom"....

Support is there whenever the individual decides he needs the help....no one can know about any individual's need for support until he reaches out for it himself....especially in the gambling addiction, which is very secretive in its nature......."rock bottom" is where some people say you have to reach before you actually try to get help because they don't know any other answer for the problem gambler.
I would say this forum is a good example of many people who are aware of their problem and are trying to get help although they may not have reached "rock bottom." As another has said, rock bottom is not the same for all people. I know of people who have lost their car, home, and family, and yet they were last seen STILL GAMBLING. Then there are stories of people who took their own lives because of gambling addiction. Where was rock bottom for those people?

This is an older post (2013) but it nonetheless raises a very poignant question regarding my own gambling situation.

I earn an executive salary, own a mortgage-free home, have generous savings and no debts.

My total gambling losses over 20 years are about $100,000 (a modest portion of my net worth).

For years, I did not consider myself a gambling addict as gambling has never caused me any financial hardship. Like others here, I gambled what I could afford to lose and even won handsomely on many occasions. In short, I believed I was "in control" of my gambling.

But I came to realize that the true cost of my gambling has been the ENORMOUS TIME WASTED.

Indeed, the monetary losses do not bother me---just numbers on a balance sheet---but the endless hours conducting "research" and concocting strategies to "beat the market" is time I will never get back.

Would be interesting to hear the experiences of other "low-level" gambling addicts and how they dealt with their situation.

Fund manager - you raise a very interesting point about 'addiction'. I would hazard a guess that there are many 'successful' people who are also addicted in some way or other to something - be it gambling, working, spending, sex etc etc....they may have successful lives (as judged by many measures) despite the fact they could be defined as 'addicts'.
Although my addiction to gambling has become more severe, I did have periods where I felt far more in control of my life, surrounding my gambling. Financially and lifestyle wise, I've felt the addiction was probably just a part of that lifestyle, and it didn't bother me - but this can very easily slip downwards into the worse end of the spectrum, and therein lies the danger for the more shallow levels of the gambling addict. It can get worse, and often does. As I listed out different periods in my gambling past, I can see that about 80% of my time as a gambler I've not let it drastically affect my life, but the 20% of the time it has done has not been worth the other 80% that's for sure. However, I'm still now getting back together my life, job situation much better now, lifestyle not too terrible, despite my failings over many years. My biggest regret is debt, and if I had to define one factor in the tipping point, it would be that. You have done well to avoid that situation.

Fund Manager wrote:But I came to realize that the true cost of my gambling has been the ENORMOUS TIME WASTED.

It gave you something to obsess about. I think that those of us who gamble or who are addicted in other ways are afraid of life. Maybe we grew up in homes where expressing our authentic selves was not allowed. Thus, we feel that we need a place to "hide out," and to not be present with our real feelings.

Gambling is such a huge time waster, indeed. And for many of us, it damaged our health as well as getting us into debt.

I must admit, I try not to dwell or regret too much about the idea of time lost gambling. We can't go back in time and do something different, so I don't see much positive will come from regretting those times. It was a part of our past, so I think we have to accept that, in order to move on and grow more positively. A better way to frame it is how much that past has shaped our current selves to be a bit more wise with our time right now.